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Friday, December 12, 2014

The Twelve Days of Lovemas| Day 3 Envy & Boast



The third day of Lovemas is here, and it seems that our true love has decided give us the gift of not gifting. He presents us open armed with lack; a lack of envy or boasting, that is. We have reached the part of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 that talks about what love is not. And love does not envy or boast.

One would think that we should understand by now how to love. Paul has instructed us using word's like pacient and kind, which are wonderful indicators of the rich depth of love. But you see, Paul was smart. He knew that one of the best ways to communicate the definition of something is to include a portion about what it is not. We learn by hearing what to do, but we also need to learn what it is we should not. And envy and boasting are a great place to start.

Envy and boasting walk hand in hand. Envy joins us when we covet the sucess of others. She is quick to hold our hand and validate any talk we have of being less than those around us. Her mood is always low, and her skin a pasty shade of grey. The phrases, "I want" and "it's not fair" are ever on her thin lips.

Boasting is always available to join the party when we think too highly of ourselves. He always says yes to invitations of self praise. While he is there, we can be sure that he will help us up every rung on the ladder of pride. It's not at all uncommon to hear him bellowing obnoxiously in the streets.

These partners in crime love to see us scramble in conflict to be the best. The motivation for their handiwork seems to be self preservation; "I'll take care of me because no one else will". But the end result is much more monsterous than we might guess. The true biproduct of behavior such as envy and boasting is actually dehumanization of everyone around us.

The game we play while envying or boasting is not unlike the action of climbing a ladder. Those we envy are merely obasticles to overcome. No longer are they our brother or sister, with whom we would usually rejoice, but now they take on the faceless form of a roadblock. Our perception of their sucess and our lack of what they have quickly turns into marshy, dirty waters. When deciding to envy, we inadvertently trap ourselves in this muck, and doom ourselves to lives devoid of compassion or joy. The rotting feeling of envy soon consumes us, leaving our love blackened with fuzzy patches of mold.

Boasting follows in suit. The object of it's affection is Number One (ourselves). It will use any and every chance to take an accomplishment and run with it straight to pride. From zero to puffed up in point five seconds, boasting is a path leading directly to placing ones self higher than those around you. The aftermath, again, is that those around you become lifeless encumbrances to your plight in becoming better than the rest.

The thread running through this double sided mess is comparison. We line ourselves, our acomplishments, and our mistakes up against everyone we encounter. It's a natural response. I know that personally, I hate to be behind. If I find myself falling behind my own perceived expectations, I will end up running myself ragged in order to catch up. The problem with that, though, is that God has us all on our own paths. He delights in each one of us individually, and his plan's for us are not one size fit's all.

The guy next door may be a few promotions ahead of you, but that's not any reflection on yourself. In fact, it very well may be that you are still in that position, because it is actually more profitable for you than if you were to jump the gun like you would want. All while we are coveting what those around us have, God may be saying, "but look at what I have for you! I have tailor made this life exactly for you. Please just stay with me a little while. I'll show you that it is not all for nothing." 

Oh the joy and fulfillment we could experience if we would realize that God has got us! Envying keeps us from doing that, and is even a little bit of a slap in the face to God. If we are interested in something that a friend has, we would do well to take it as an opportunity to place our trust in God. But we must also realize that God might just simply have other plan's for us. We can always trust that they will be good, and this should take some of the air out of comparing.

Trusting that God as our source should help eradicate the need to boast too. After comparing ourselves with others, and pushing them down instead of up, we are essentially forgetting where it is we have come from and who it is that has enabled us to get here. 

1 Corinthians 15:10a  says, "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace towards me was not in vain." God is our source. Without his grace, we are nothing. James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above". So really, when we hit that great accomplishment, the glory is to God, and not ourselves. Even though in the physical, we did a lot of work, we know that we were able to because God decided that we should. But don't take that as a bummer, because it is invigorating to know that the King of the Universe has got our back. Instead of boasting in ourselves, we can boast in God throughout the bleakest of situations. The tables turn from, "look what I did" to, "with God, there is nothing I can't do".

Envy and boasting are lose lose situations. They stifle our ability to love others, and they rob us of the opportunity to trust in God completely. We must lean into God as we strive to see those around us through his loving and forgiving eyes. God longs for us to interact with each other in a way that places high importance on the person rather than the boost we might get while passing them by. And that's why our King of Kings was born in a manger rather than in the halls of some great palace. His father, a carpenter, and his mother, a teenage girl.

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