Sponges

The other day whilst doing some laundry, I was switching the load from the washer to the dryer and I noticed something. Instead of buying dryer sheets, Teagan and I like to use sponges. What you do is fill a tupperware container full of a mix of fabric softener and water. After guesstimating on both substances until the color feels about right, you soak a sponge in it. The sponge is now ready to be thrown in with a load of clothing to make sure they come out extra soft and smell great. When the load of laundry is done, though, the sponge comes out hard and dry. And at first when you put it back in the tupperware container, it floats.

None of this is news to anyone, I'm sure. We all know that sponges float, and then as they absorb whatever substance they are put into, they slowly sink to the bottom. On this particular day, though, I saw it differently. God spoke through the menial task of doing the laundry and told me that often we are just like that sponge. We are full of things that are going to help us float and not sink when we come across difficult situations in out lives. And when we first start out, it really appears that we are doing great! In the midst of the situation, we are still on the top of our preverbal fabric softener. We aren't sinking. But eventually, because we let negative things come in, we become filled with them and start to sink. In the end we become consumed by what we put in, and that is what we in turn put out.

Jesus covered this in Matthew 15: 18 when he told the Pharisees, "What comes out of the mouth precedes from the heart". Proverbs 4:23 continues on to warns us to guard our hearts because our heart directly affects our actions. If we are not picky about what we let seep into us, we will wake up one day and wonder why what is coming out of our mouths is nothing but trash. It's almost impossible to immerse yourself in negativity and not come out more negative and sour than we once were. My mother taught me this at a young age.

When I was around five or six, my family lived next door to another family that also had a little girl about my age. We would go over and play together quite frequently. I suppose something about this little girl struck my mom as rebellious or disrespectful, because at one point, my mom sat me down and told me something that I never forgot. She said that the little girl was like chocolate milk and I was like regular milk. If I pored her chocolate milk into my regular milk, I wouldn't be white regular milk anymore. I would be brown too. That is still with me to this day. I am so thankful to my mother for finding a way to explain to little girl me how things outside of yourself eventually begin to affect you in a deep way. It may be a deep truth, but being told that so early in my life definitely helped shape me into who I am today.

But that doesn't mean that I haven't struggled with this. There have been many times where I realize, after I have started to act angrier or sadder, that what I am putting in is affecting me in a negative way. And it's so easy to do! I think personally, the cause of such destructive behavior could be narrowed down to two reasons.

 First, I think that for some reason, I will not be affected by what I am putting in. Sure, these comments on this video that I am watching are somewhat crude and pretty argumentative, but it will be okay if I scroll through and read them! I'll be fine! So I subject myself to it over and over, commenting and waiting with baited fingers to reply to the arguments that I've elicited, until I look up and realize that I'm doing things I once was not okay with. I have consciously cut out TV shows and even music because it was doing me more harm than good. I'm not writing this to bash your favorite things, but I do want to warn you. Be mindful. Let yourself notice when your mood goes down or your words become negative as the result of putting something in your mind. If it is minimizing the good character traits that God placed within you, then maybe it deserves a reevaluation. And it's not just limited media. The people in our lives can also bring us down too.

My second reason for ending up in situations that cause me to sink rather than to float is quite simple. I have trouble letting go sometimes. Even if you see that it's not doing you any good, it is still hard to let go. One of the areas this plays out in frequently is with friends. The people we choose to be around.

Over this past year, I have "broken up" with a few people that I thought were friends. Funny, I thought after marriage, I would be finished with breaking up with people, but it seems I was not. At one point, I looked up and realized that the people I had chosen to surround myself with were extremely negative. Our hang outs consisted of long constant strings of complaints. Either their bad situations or the rude people around them were the subject of this negativity. And I was catching on to some of their behavior! I can't begin to tell you how much it really sucks to realize that not only are your friends actually not treating you like friends, but to also come into the knowledge that you are starting to become just as hurtful and insecure as they are. But when you start to realize that something is causing your heart to hurt and your words to sour, don't do what I did.

You would think that after I noticed that I was in a damaging relationship with friends that I would hightail it out of there. But I stayed. I marinated in the negative relationship in the hopes that what I use to get from the friendship would come back. But you can't change someone. Their actions are up to them. Please don't make my mistake, friends. Learn from it and spare yourselves the months of discomfort and disappointment. Waiting around for someone to change their ways because of what you use to have is a surefire way to hurt your heart. Be uncompromising in the way that you guard your heart. Once you see that something in your life is putting negativity into you, drop it or them if at all possible. 

2 Timothy 2:22 says to RUN from temptation. I know it's not easy. It can even feel like you're doing the wrong thing because you're leaving all you have known. But allowing yourself to have positivity in your life by severing ties is like breathing in fresh air after smelling something burning. You may have not even noticed the air was foul. You may have even forgotten what clean air felt like. As soon as you get outside, though, your nose stops burning, and you know instantly that it is exactly what you have been aching for the whole time. 

Friends, God has GOOD for you. He longs for you to enter into daily peace and joy. So don't compromise. You DO matter, and if you need to stop subjecting yourself to something because it is leading you farther away from what God has for you, then don't hesitate. Pray for strength if you are feeling overwhelmed by the thought of parting ways. And most of all, lean on the people who are there for you in your life. Don't put on a strong facade if the inside really is wanting to go back to the destruction you left. Tell someone. Life is too short to fake it and actually be rapidly sinking. Surround yourself with whatever will pour good into you. Be filled with the things of God and float rather than sink.