A Christmas Worthy of Defending

We have reached November, and already there are many that are participating in various types of Christmas cheer. Some would say that one week into November is premature. I would likely be among those some rather than the many that would just belt their carols even louder, but that is to be expected. What I did not expect (why not, I don't know) was the overwhelming amount of Christmas grump that would begin.

Upon checking the regular social media I was tsunamied by a wave of endless posts about the dreaded red cup. Yes, we were at it again. Many enraged posters and commenters were again swinging away in the dark closet of a supposed fight for Christmas and inevitably punching themselves in the face.

 It's embarrassing. It's negative. And it's maybe the biggest obstacle standing in the way of 'the true meaning of Christmas'. Simply put, we are our own worst blank red cup agains Christmas.

Commercials, big companies and cashiers at our local Walmart are not the culprit. We are. Every single time we rant about Christmas being under attack, it is the enemies agenda that is furthered, not Jesus'. Jesus came so that we would be reconciled with God. If we are too busy arguing, being offended, and picking fights to walk out the peace and love that comes with being redeemed, the entire Christmas message is lost. All the world sees is an incredibly angry and overly sensitive group of people that will rant your ear off about what they believe. And whats more, arguing never saved a single person. Ranting has never opened anyone's heart.

It is tragic that we as Christians's have picked up our weapons to waste time on such a fruitless- dare I say, nonexistent- plight! Being told, "happy holidays", rather than, "merry Christmas" is not a battle invitation, it's an opportunity to be kind and show Jesus' heart. Commercials on TV including other holidays is not them taking a stance against Christmas, it is a marketing technique to *gasp* make money.

Commercials make money, and Walmart is secular. What else is new?

If we want to preserve Christmas as a season that expresses the Father's love- if we want to fight the battle that wages against Christianity, we should volunteer. We should show kindness when it is not deserved. We should give, regardless of whether or not we think we are being taken advantage of. We should see the tiny desires that we all have to be first and treated the best, and put them aside in order for God's love to be showcased.

 But when we take the secular nature of the world as an opportunity to become offended and use our various platforms to spread anger, that is when the real attack against Christ's message happens. We are the image the world sees of God. We are the nativity scene- we are the Starbucks cup. And when we fail to show the love of the father; when we throw the baby Jesus out of the barn and arrange the hay, wisemen, and cattle as we see fit; when we become blank and red with anger rather than speckled with snowflakes, love and forgiveness for all, the world is robbed of Christmas.

You see, the battle waged for Christmas is not for our benefit. The real battle for Christmas is far less selfish and self centered. The eternal prospective of Christmas extends outward and longs for none to be left out. A Christmas with an attitude mirroring that of our Savior is one that cannot sacrifice a chance to spread God's love for a chance to become irritated or petty. The real Christmas that deserves protection does not focus on being recognized and respected. It concentrates on a radical love that turns the other cheek in the face of wrong treatment.

Jesus love is radical, and it does not and never will line up with the wisdom of man. It doesn't make sense to not get offended, but we do it. It doesn't make sense not to complain, but we mustn't. It doesn't make sense to welcome other cultures and religions, but we do. And it's not an act of passivity, it is a strong act of war against the spiritual forces our war is waged against.

Loving others beyond what is expected from the world, in a way that sets our own desires in the grave, is the nuke from which the enemy has no escape. Because loving as one who is first loved by the Father opens a door to the coldest of hearts that ranting and 'defending Christmas' only serves to forces shut even more tightly.

The problem is not the cup. The issue is that we keep on lending ourselves to the enemy's puppet act in which we are unhappy, and the world is lost.

Go to Starbucks, or don't. In the perspective of eternity, it matters very little. But we must not let the opportunities we are given every day, in real life or online, to be wasted because our ego or sense of self is pricked or threatened. There's more than a red cup at stake, there are souls. And we are the only way they will hear of the good news, not the cardboard outside of a latte.

My Summer

It is now officially fall! The summer is over, and even though the weather still has not lined up exactly with the supposed season change, many are glad to be rid summer 2015. I am one of them.

During this past summer season, my posting on my blog came to a screeching halt. And while I would love to say that this was all due to being busy, I really can't use that excuse. I had the time. I could have been writing. It was just a difficult summer for me.

The changes and stresses of various trials left me rung out like a damp towel. I found it very difficult to blog. Nothing felt quite right. The upheaval of my summer 2015 was a challenge that I am not sure I was completely prepared for. As a result, I was left with unanswered and unattended emotions which then snowballed into months of writers block. My blog, which had once felt like an opportunity for me to make a difference, soon felt more like a reflection of my failures. I started becoming more and more concerned that I had somehow earned the trials that Teagan and I had been walking through.

So what is it that happened? Well the first bomb was dropped by our past landlord. My husband and I had been renting a house under a lease, and the time for the lease to expire was coming. Our then landlord mailed us a form to renew our lease explaining that our rent was going to spike. Given the fact that Teagan and I were already considering trying to find another place to live with a larger yard, this was a fairly good opportunity to go ahead and look. Teagan and I start the search, we find a place, and we submit our application for the house. Oh yah, and the house would not available for another three months. So we had plenty of time to give our landlord notice in order to find new tenants. No problem, right?

This is when things get a little shaky. Our then landlord, upon receiving an email from our future landlord asking landlord-y questions about us as tenants, decided to send us a little letter. He was kicking us out. We received a months notice that we were to move out. What.

We were in shock. If this was what our landlord was going to do if we looked for a house and decided to not sign another lease, what would he have done if we were to tell him we were going to start looking without having found anything yet? None the less, no amount of unfairness would save us from this bump in the road. We packed our things and said goodbye to our first place together.

Remember when I said that the place that we found wasn't going to be available for another three months? Yah, we were practically homeless. At least we would have been, had it not been for our family, Tegan's Dad and stepmom, Gim and Tonya, taking us in. And while this was completely lovely, and we were very thankful to them, we quickly found that the stress was not yet over. Pro tip: if you can help it, don't move in with your in-laws mere months after getting a new puppy. I'll just let that one sink in.

Like I said, we were very thankful! We still are. But having your privacy stripped away from you so suddenly can begin to feel like a regression in life that you'll never get out of. Pretty soon, the place you use to call home is no longer home, it is a level of existence marked by feeling permanently out of control.

Let me put it this way, let's see a show of hands of all of the married people who are interested having roommates. No one? Not a one?

You get my point.

During this time, though, I was not only dealing with loosing my house and sense of stability, but I was also dealing with a new person at work. Maybe things would have gone differently if I had not already been under some stress, but who's to say? What I do know is that I was suppose to train a new person at work. I was given the task of making sure that the newbie knew how to do my morning tasks, just in case I happened to be gone. Then why all the hubbub, you ask? I will explain.

This employee happened to be an older employee. They would now be the oldest employee in our group at work. The employee had left another job in the same field and was now with us. This employee was accustomed to being a manager over people my age and up. Oh boy.

This employee was a terrible listener. They not only did not comprehend or remember when I would explain how to do something or why things are done in a certain way, they would interrupt. They would interrupt.

So I was set out to make sure that this person was able to perform the tasks properly. It was my job to do this, so in my mind, I was suppose to do what it took to correctly train this person and equip them with the correct skills needed in order to complete time sensitive and fairly detailed tasks. But they had listen skills problems, and they did not like to listen to me in particular because I am young. Do you see my problem?

Oh, but we're not done yet! Here comes the fatal flaw. The employee who sat right in front of the area in which I trained the newbie would take offense to me explaining things multiple times, and eventually expressing what I would describe to be minor exasperation. I say minor, because in reality, I was pulling my hair out on the inside. But all this time, I truly wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to express patience, and I believe I did. But for some reason, any time at all that I would correct or redirect the new employee, the other employee would interrupt our conversation in order to stop what I was doing. And they did so in such a way as to put me down, as if training an employee should somehow not include any redirection or criticism in any way.

This lasted for what weeks. The entire time, I feel trapped between a rock and a hard place. I needed to train the new employee, but I was being made to feel like dirt any time I gave redirection or correction. But in the end, I think that I did enough to make sure that I did my job. The new employee was trained. Regardless of how painful it was, they gained the knowledge needed to correctly complete the tasks given to them.

That's not to say that others haven't had the same problem with this new person. People have even requested that the new employee be transferred to a different department because of their inability to learn. Instead of showing the newbie patience, they take the easy rout and neglect properly administering the training. They weren't as patient as I was. I hear people constantly telling the new person that they have done something wrong.

In the end, I hope that the new person gets fully adjusted. I desire for them to be successful. If I would not have desired their ultimate success, I would have avoided ever telling them that they were wrong, and let them fail constantly. But I did not, and the one thing the newbie is okay at doing is what I taught them.

But even though I was able to teach the employee eventually, this situation still had a big impact on me. In the light of already being under stress, this came at me like a punch to the gut. It hit me hard, and I started doubting myself even more than I had before. I doubted my ability to express kindness, and I doubted my true intentions. And I did not exactly know what to do in order to get through those thoughts and doubts. So the creative block that had snowballed from unanswered and unattended questions snowballed even more from simple writers block into self doubt. And I just didn't know what to do about it.

Then, towards the end of what had shaped up to be a fairly ruthless summer, I was in a wreck. Nothing serious, we both walked away, but our cars did not. I stood dumbfounded as I tried to slow my racing heart, reasoning with it that everything was okay, and we would be alright. This, of course did nothing, because my body is incredibly illogical, and does not care to listen to my Spock voice.

Teagan and I had been in our new house for a little while, and I thought that regaining our privacy would be all that I needed to also regain creativity and get back to blogging. As I wiped what I like to call a "freaked-out-tear" (I wasn't really sad or frightened,  I was just trying to cope, which for me means tears), I realized that maybe that was not the case.

The things that I experienced this summer may seem fairly trivial to many, but rest assured, in order protect relationships and identities, there were several parts that I just had to leave out. This past summer involved working through several situations in which I simply had to take the injustices and move on. Either because it would have been inappropriate, or because I simply had no idea how to go about it, I never got to speak out on behalf of myself.

Sometimes we will have those moments in life- moments that are simply unjust. I hope we can all learn to make light of situations like that. But while I was walking through these various trials, I found that actually counting them all joy was very difficult for me. I know in my heart that joy is possible at any time. I believe that the Word of God is true. That is why I have come out the others side. But I could not have done it other than the grace of God carrying me the entire way.

If you're going through a time like I had, a season that feels endless and crushing, know this: God is near to the broken hearted. God will not leave you in your time of turmoil. We will face trials, the Bible makes this clear, but they are not the end. If you feel as I did, powerless and void of any energy to fight, rest in God. His burden is light. Tell Him what is going on and let His peace wash over you. God is faithful, and He is always there.

If you're experiencing a change in thought patterns because of how unjust your world feels right now, speak out. Who we are is completely dependent on God, not the situations around us. But that is not what society tells us. That is not even what man's logic might tell us. I know first hand how easy it is to believe the thoughts that pop into our minds degrading our very being. But they are not true. Any thought or idea that does not line up with all that God says we are (righteous, redeemed) is a lie form hell.

In that case, let the community of people that God has placed around you lift you up with prayers and support. Do not try to weather the storm alone. God never meant for us to strive to be independent super-Christians. Island-Christianity is also a dangerous lie from hell meant to separate us from the love and support that God has placed within arms reach. You're not weak or less than everyone else because you can't do it on your own. You are exactly like everyone else. You are who God intended you to be-part of a community.

 One of the things that kept me going was being able to receive comfort from family and friends. Speak out. I cannot emphasize this enough. Speak out, and do it soon, because lies spiral out of control so quickly. God will place people in your path that will give you the handhold you need to come out of the muck. Allow your healing to begin, and tell a trusted friend.

Maybe you're not really going through anything major right now. If that is you, do your best to always take the trials of others seriously. Be a soft place to land for those who need you. Listen without interruption. Then after hearing all that they have to say, sometimes a simple, "I'm so sorry that you're going though that", accompanied with a hug is all they need to be able to make it through. Comfort and affirmation can be healing and empowering. Avoid fixing. God can fix. Simply be a soft place to land.

I am proof that you can make it to the other side. I am proof that you don't have to stay sad, and you don't have to live with thoughts telling you that you're garbage. Look in the tomb, our Savior is no longer there. He has risen, and we with Him. Plug into community. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. God is not done with you yet. He has good things for you.

4 Reasons I Don't Think that Kim Davis Is a Martyr

Lately Facebook has been bombarded with a number of articles and posts about the Kentucky clerk, Kim Davis. The story goes that Kim Davis has not issued any marriage licenses, gay or straight, since the ruling in June that allowed for gay men and women to marry anywhere in the United Sates of America. After denying a number of couples a marriage licenses, Kim was arrested and put in jail, being held in contempt.

Soon after the news hit, as with each and every issue in the US, a dark, nasty, wide line was drawn in the sand with conservatives on one side and liberals on the other. The nation once again showed how divided it was. But "a house divided" platitude aside, what struck me the most was the support Kim seemed to gain from the Christians in America.

One article I read even canonized her including several quotes from Davis emphasizing that she considered her efforts to be rooted in her unwavering faith. Even the picture included of the Kentucky clerk captured one of the few moments that she didn't look furious with whomever she happened to be talking to at the moment. The comment section on the article praised Kim's efforts claiming that she was being persecuted and that prayers were being sent her way.

This is a difficult situation. One that requires us to actively avoid knee jerk reactions and try to think long and hard before we join the protesters in their display of prideful anger. Kim refused to give licenses to any same sex couples because it did not line up with what the Bible says. I agree with her on that point. If one reads the Bible with a renewed mind-one without political influence or sway from anything present in the world- the conclusion is that God considers homosexuality a sin. But I'm not sure I'm ready to jump on the Kim D bandwagon just yet. There are a few things that I find troubleing about the Christian movement to rally around her, and I think they are worth risking the uncomfortable moments that come when you disagree with others.

I'll be the first person to back down from any unnecessarily rocking of the boat. If it's a nonessential issue, I tend to let it be, especially if it has roots in politics and government. I believe that politics can tend to be a tool that the devil fluidly operates in order to divide the church. Because of that, I find that very little glory can be brought to God and His name by diving headfirst into every situation that calls for a choosing of sides. But this is very different.

Kim Davis is being called a martyr. She is being elevated as an example of who Christians should try to emulate. We have chosen for ourselves a king that was a head taller than the rest, and I'm just a little concerned that God is thinking something entirely different. Here are some of the issues I have with all of the Kim Davis support:

1. Government celebrities cannot be regarded as spiritual authorities.

In American Christian culture, we have started listening to and respecting the words and policies of Christian claiming politicians as if they were quoting scripture. The Christian-political stance has become dangerously sacred to the body of Christ. Some even consider their political beliefs to be equal to or greater than that of the truths found in the Bible. This is a very slippery slope to go down.

The single time that Jesus acted with force in the Bible, it was because money changers had been brought into the temple. Shouldn't that give us a heads up as to what God's heart might be towards those sorts of things? Politics are full of motives that do not line up with God's heart. Even the best motives are lost to the world because they still are driven by pride and anger towards certain groups of people.

God resist's the proud. Proverbs 6:16-19 says, "16 There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, 19 a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers."

Lying, wicked plans, false witness, sowing discord (the opposite of peace) among brothers? These are all things that anyone who follows politics would have to be blind not to notice. And they aren't unique to one party or another. Just a few minutes of watching any political debate should be enough time to witness a barrage of prideful, angry, biting remarks from both sides.

Political figures do not have the goal of loving God, loving others or leading others to Christ. There is a lot of money, and working of the system that needs to happen for men in this world to come to power. America is not an exception, and neither are any of the political parties in play. We need to stop acting as if the government is the United Church of America. It is damaging our core beliefs, damaging the name of Christ, and turning people away from salvation.

Yes, we should be politically aware of what is going on in the world. But we should not be so quick to pledge our fiery, unwavering support to people in political office. Politics are largely a choice between the lesser of two evils for Christians. There are glaring flaws on either side of the voting ticket. We are not trying to elect the next Christian king. We are trying to choose amongst men who consider politics to be their top priority. We cannot treat our political leaders with the same consideration and respect as we would a trusted pastor. Doing so will dilute the message of the gospel and render us weak spiritually.

2. The government is not going to bring anyone to salvation.

The government is a secular entity. It helps maintain our country's status as one with freedom of religion. In order to do that, it will hold laws that we as Christians do not agree with. That is because a government that has freedom of religion cannot itself be religious. If our US government were to implement laws that line up only with the Bible, we would be forcing an entire country to serve God regardless of their free will. Being forced to serve God does not equate to loving God. And it certainly does not mean anyone is more saved than before.

Often, I think we focus far too much on our government and whether or not it is Christian. Making the government and it's laws and regulations line up with the Bible is never going to save anyone. We cannot "save America" by changing her laws and actions. That would be not only forcing Christianity on someone, but also making the entire religious experience and relationship with God based upon works. And quite frankly, works and works based "salvation" are straight paths to hell.

So as to the question of whether or not we as Christians are or aren't religiously free, I would say that our freedom was more intact after Kim was arrested than before. Kim Davis was representing an official section of the government. In doing so, she was well aware that that meant that she was going to have to uphold the Constitution. Part of that Constitution includes a bit about religious freedom. If she is going to represent the government and the religious freedom it promises, she cannot bend the rules based upon her religion of preference.

I am not here to split hairs and get off on a tangent about who or what is or isn't upholding the Constitution. That's a quibble for another day (one I hope to not be there for). But what I am saying is that if Kim Davis' actions of imposing religious laws on citizens were allowed to go untouched,  a precedent could have been created that would allow for others to do the same thing. If other government officials were allowed to follow in suit and happened to not be a Christian, that would be a disastrous path for our country to go down.

Kim Davis knew the day that they made gay marriage legal in the USA that she would not be able to accurately represent the government any longer. That doesn't mean that Kim's rights were infringed. Having religious freedom does not mean that every job should conform to your beliefs. If so, Kim should be able to be a bartender and only serve non-alcoholic drinks. Kim should be able to work at a movie theatre and only sell tickets that are PG or PG-13 (do they even have G movies anymore?). Kim should be able to work at Hooters while wearing her signature full length skirt with a long sleeved shirt. But that's just not the case.

Kim is free to make whatever religious choices she desires, as are we. We can go out and tell everyone we know about Jesus right now, and the government will not do a thing! Our mandate from Jesus is completely protected, because we have the freedom to say whatever to whomever. But we simply will never be free to control other's actions. And we will not be free to work for the government and represent them as a Christian government rather than a secular one. That would not only infringe on the rights of other's to freely choose, but it would eventually come full circle when someone who doesn't follow Jesus Christ decides to pull their own Kim D.

3. We are to love.

Something that stood out to me when I first saw the footage of Kim Davis talking arguing with the two gay men was how obvious it was that she was speaking out of pride and judgement rather than love. With a facial expression of annoyance and anger, Kim spoke in short quick sentences answering what were fairly legitimate questions that these men were asking.

 I will not dissect every one of Kim's actions and words. She did keep her cool amidst what looked to be a tense situation. If you're interested, there are multiple videos online that one can find with a simple search. And I am not here to bash someone who was trying to live out her faith. But what I am trying to bring to light is how easily we as Christians tend to accept a lack of love when someone's sin, especially homosexuality, is involved.

Jesus once said that the two greatest commandments are to love God and love others. He then immediately followed that statement by saying that all the commandments line up with the two he listed. Jesus wasn't trying to streamline the commandments, he was making a point. When Jesus said that loving God and loving others was the most important thing, he was answering a pharisee who asked him which of the commandments was the most important. The pharisee had the motive of stumping Jesus, but Jesus had something better in mind. He took the opportunity to make the point that all of the ten commandments are rooted in love. It had always been about loving others, the pharisees were just a little too caught up in their religious pride to see that.

I wonder sometimes if we as the church are doing a better job at embodying the pharisees than Jesus. In the case of Davis, I have to conclude that there had to have been a more loving way to talk to those who came to her for a same sex marriage license. Love is patient up to a certain point. Love is kind unless you happen to be wrong. Love does not insist on it's own way except when it comes to homosexuals. Or wait-no. Because the love God desires us to walk in is not conditional. The love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is described as bearing all things and not being irritable or resentful. Is it easy? Not at all. Is it possible in this day and age? Matthew 19:26 “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

We cannot forsake our godly mission to love others. That is the only difference between Christians and the world. The world looks out for number one, but Christians love. We love because God first loved us. And our loving unity will be what causes the unbelievers that we think are so far gone to take one look at us and say, "there has to be a God, and I have to know Him". If we do not love, we drastically lessen the chances that the two men talking to Davis (and so so many more) had for being brought to salvation.

4.We are to spread the good news.

This goes hand in hand with the last point. Some see our mandate to love as an excuse to never say anything to anyone. Being absolutely non-confrontal and never saying a thing about your faith would be a tragedy, and one for which we would have to answer. The fact is, the truth will set you free. We must speak out. And what we say is important.

There is power in the gospel. There is real life changing power that comes when the story of Jesus Christ is told. When we plant the seed of the good news, the Holy Spirit will soften hearts and bring multitudes to Jesus! But we must remember that this is the good news. Not the "naggy" news, as my mom refers to it. What she means by "naggy news" is that part of the gospel is not to scoot the plank in our eye over just enough to tell someone all about the "good news" of the splinter in their eye.

Let me say it this way, because this is an important part of Christianity to understand. The gospel is everything. Everything that we do and know about God stems off of it and goes deeper into it. The gospel is not a mirror that we use to point out the sins of others. The gospel is about Jesus, and what he did to make a way for us. So the fact that we need a way is important, yes. But if all we get out of our mouths it the fact that our Savior doesn't like their sin, then we are editing the gospel at a disastrous cost.

Think back to Kim and the two men who were trying to obtain a marriage license. Do you think either of them are going to look back on that day and turn to Jesus because some woman behind a desk told them that God didn't like them? If so, I would love to hear the testimony, because I'm sure it would have to include some sort of visitation and explanation from the Lord. Not that that isn't entirely possible or that I think that they are never going to turn to Jesus, but I am trying to make a point.

The salvation of those whom Kim Davis turned away was not her main concern. Her main concern was the law of God vs the laws of man. As a result, real people with real souls that desperately (just like you and I) need Jesus were steamrolled. If we are to be fishers of men, we cannot omit the gospel because we find certain sins more in need of pointing out than others. If we are to love God and love others, we must make sure and share the gospel while allowing the Holy Spirit to be the great convector and changer of hearts.

Could you imagine how this could have gone if Kim had compassionately and fervently shared the gospel and her testimony rather than dismissively telling others how wrong they were? People might not have accepted Christ in that moment. Maybe they might have. But even if they didn't, they could look back and honestly say, "Kim Davis was concerned about whether or not I get to spend eternity with Jesus." Yah it probably would have felt weird to be a county clerk talking to gay men and women about Jesus; likely a lot weirder than being dismissive and perturbed. But people could be brought into the kingdom. There's heaven or hell-no in-between. And people's eternal souls are important enough to sacrifice our need to point out their sin instead of spreading the good news.

That is why I write. Not because of a political preference or affiliation with a party of man. I speak out because as Christians, loving God and loving others must be the most important thing. The gospel must be our battle cry, and our battle cannot be against flesh and bone. The moment we start glorifying those who's priorities are not just as Jesus said they should be, the gospel gets lost in translation.

 Kim Davis is not a martyr. She is stubborn, and she is trying. But she should not receive support as someone who is representing Jesus and God's love for the world. We can and should pray. We should strive to spread the good news. But we should refrain from adding to the gospel by pledging our support to those who do not deserve it. To do so would sacrifice the validity and purity of God's message to mankind. We should avoid that at all costs.

Your Exodus

Lately in the McClarren household, things have been hectic. Not a constant obvious type hectic, but Teagan and I's life has been in a state of slow ongoing tumult. In the time while I have been away (internet presence-wise) Teagan and I have dealt with a very sick puppy, less than fair treatment by our last landlord, a slight job change, loss of privacy, and just general transition. If there ever was a proverbial fan, in April, it was being hit with some difficult stuff. It has been tough, testing, and most of all, tiring. But I realize now that what we have been doing is going through our own personal Exodus.

In many areas in our lives, it was time to move on. Our house was okay, but we were quickly growing out of it. Teagan's job was also, okay, but it was becoming a wrong fit. Two (just two that I have mentioned) rather important things in our lives were becoming less and less of a fit until it was simply time to be done with them. In hindsight, even though it as been a tough transition, I can clearly identify the "Pharaohs" that were over us in our lives. It is obvious that we were merely existing, rather than living in God's best.

Even though the time that we have been going through has brought about many good things, it has been difficult. Having to live with in laws until the house you've found is available is difficult. Even when you have in laws as awesome as Teagan and I do, it is still tough to be uprooted from your nice, personalized, private abode and thrust into someone else's house. Having to switch jobs, even when it is the best thing for you, presents a whole new list of challenges that had never even crossed your mind. Transition is tough. But because of what Jesus did on the cross, we can still be more than conquerers.

So where does that leave those of us who are in the midst of our Exodus? It's tough, yes. But coming to terms with the light of your situation does little to help it. I have found out firsthand that if all we do is relish in the satisfaction of the fact that we are indeed going through something, we will soon meet the twin brother of admitting difficulty: self pity. So in an attempt to help us all avoid or get out of a transitional funk, here are some things that I have discovered while having my life dumped out like a messy purse in need of organizing:

A Crash Course for Your Exodus

1. Abandon the Need to Analyze Everything

If you're anything like me, you prefer to be multiple steps ahead of any given situation. This, of course, is a rather unachievable attitude to have given the sporadic way that life dances. That's not to say that planning in general in your life isn't good, but you can't out plan your entire life. There will be some things that hit that you will have had no way of predicting or planning for aside from God. When things that you weren't prepared for happen, our only choice is to lean into God for provision and guidance. You can either trust and rely on God's strength rather than your own, or you can do as I was tempted to do many days and try to figure out why all of this was happening.

Maybe I was writing things that didn't glorify God. Maybe this is God's way of taking back for that time that I didn't tithe. Or maybe- stop. None of that lines up with the Bible. If we have accepted Jesus as our Lord and avior, we are now righteous and under grace. Nothing that takes place in our lives is God's wrath raining from above. When we go through a hectic time in our lives, Hebrews 4:16 is God's heart towards us, "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Don't try to figure out the why. We live in a fallen world. Sin has entered the world because man, who has free will, chose sin. Things will likely happen, and when they do, the liar will try to convince you that only someone worthy of guilt and shame would be going through what you are going through. Don't believe any of that. It is a lie. God sees us a righteous. We are under his grace.

2. Take Time for Rest

When going through a time of rather difficult transition, it is easy to become physically and emotionally exhausted. We are creatures of habit, and when our habits are disrupted, it is difficult to find a way back to the regular swing of things. But God is, or at least should be, our source, and he will provide spiritual, emotional rest and restoration. In Psalms, David gives us picture after picture of what it is to wait and rest in the Lord. Psalm 62:5-7 says,

"5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,

for my hope is from him.

6 He only is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; I shall not be shaken.

7 On God rests my salvation and my glory;

my mighty rock, my refuge is God."

Let me tell you, if you are weary from your current situation, the way to gain back energy and emotional strength is to stay rooted in God. Isaiah 40:29 says, "He gives power to the faint,

and to him who has no might he increases strength." Psalms 34:18 reads, "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." God is in the business of refreshing those who are beat down by the world. 

If you are feeling tattered and worn by the journey that you have been on, plug into God. Get in the word and allow yourself to be built up by the truths about who he is and what he has done for you. True restoration is from God alone. Real strength for life's journeys is found only in our Father Creator. Don't be fooled by claims or ideas that tell you that that extra hour of sleep, that extra cup of coffee, that time at the gym is what will do it for you. Get filled up on the life changing truth of the word, then go on your workout.

3. It's Time to Exercise Real Trust in God

Trusting God is hard. Things that you see and hear often skew contrary to the word of God. Even people in church sometimes will lend themselves to the deceiver as tools to convince you that you are down and out for the count. How many times do we hear gloom and doom passed around a conversation as if it were salt at the table? But we are in God's reality. We are redeemed and can walk in the supernatural provision that God has.

When Teagan and I got the notice of non renewal (landlord speak to get out in the next two months) it would have been easy to really break down and consider ourselves done. In the natural we were about to be homeless. The house that we had applied to (and gotten. Yay!) would not be available until August. A full two months away from the date that we had to be out of our house. We were going to need to find some way to house not only ourselves, but also two dogs, a cat, and a house-worth of possessions.

But God was at work. While our landlord was being given to his pride (the notice was signed the same day that our past-landlord received the call from the house that we wanted asking about what kind of tenants we were. What a coincidence!) God was using the situation to his glory. We were able to rapidly, and I mean in the course of one Sunday evening, move into my in law's house where we would be able to stay and save for several months. What was meant for our destruction was turned back around and ended up benefiting us!

And while I would love to say that in all this time I have been one hundred percent on track with trusting whole heartedly in the Lord, I must admit that there were some stressful unsure times along the way. But God's grace is enough. Not your money, your strength, your power, or your level headedness is enough- but God's grace is enough. Whenever my heart is weighed down, and I feel like a whole has been worn in my trust, I know that all I have to do is ask for help. In that moment, God will fill us up so that we are able to do the one thing that we can do, be still and know that he is God.

4. Resist the Urge to Complain and Become Short Sighted

Even when change is good, it can also be very hard. The discomfort of transition is why most people don't get past a certain point in their life, but what everyone else has is not what God has planned for our lives. God has so much more than we can even imagine planned for us. And it is going to take trusting and leaning in him to get where he desires us to be. So when God takes us out of situations that are less than his best (i.e. your own personal Egypt), we may be tempted to follow in the footsteps of the Israelites and whine to be allowed back to the place God purposefully brought us out of.

Exodus 16: 2-3 reads, "2 And the whole congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness, 3 and the people of Israel said to them, “Would that we had died by the hand of the LORD in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.” They had been slaves in Egypt! The Israelite people had been oppressed. There was even a law in Egypt that any baby boy born to them must be killed! And yet, they could not see far enough past the hunger that they were experiencing to notice that they were finally a free people. We mustn't let the our current trouble drown out the miracle that God just performed in our lives.

But let us not consider ourselves so above the Israelites. There have been many times that I have been tempted to long for what I have left because my current situation was less than ideal. Friends, sometimes we will experience a time of transition before we get to what God ultimately wants us to have. It may feel out of place, awkward, and even a little painful at times. The past may appear to glean more brightly than the present. But God is always with us, and he will provide all that we need. Complaining and taking our eyes off of God will only prolong the experience. Keep your mind on what God has done, and what his word says that he will do. Know who God is. Know who you are in Christ! We are more than conquerors through Christ. No "wilderness situation" can ever cancel out who we are in Christ.

5. Praise God

Praise points our attention back to God, and it wins warfare in the spiritual realms. We must praise while we are in the midst of the situation that we would like to be able to walk out of instead of waiting until we feel like their is something worthy  of thanksgiving and praise.  When we give God the glory instead of meditating on exactly what mountain it is that we are dealing with in our lives, those mountains have a tendency to get thrown into the sea.

Psalm 8:2 says, 

" Out of the mouth of babies and infants, 

you have established strength because of your foes,

to still the enemy and the avenger."

Giving God the glory while we are sill in the wilderness is powerful. When you feel like you have given it all that you have, and things are still not budging, invite the miraculous realms of God's presence by taking the time to praise.

6. Let Go

Because of the time of exodus that Teagan and I have been going through, I have had my eyes opened to the many objects, people, or activities I had been relying on instead of God. When I took a break from writing, I slowly sank into a state of confusion and turmoil. This, as the Holy Spirit had revealed to me, was because I was trying to get my joy and peace from writing instead of God. I felt like God had called me to write, which I still believe he had, but I had entered into a place where if I didn't write, I felt guilty.

Finally, one Sunday morning, after a few weeks of pitiful moping, God spoke to me saying that he still delighted in me, and I still was able to approach the throne boldly. It was like someone turned the lights back on inside of me! I knew that all of that was true, but I was not letting myself accept it for my own personal life. Because of the change in my life, I was able to take a step back and realize that I was not walking as someone who was free. When all the distractions were gone as my life experienced being stripped down, God was finally able to pierce through my busy day to day and speak life into the places where I had gradually filed his goodness away.

Transition has a way of doing that. I was lamenting to my husband not too long ago about how stressed out I had become. "My life feels like a purse that has been dumped out", I whined. After verbally worrying a little more to Teagan, he pointed out that maybe it was time that things were a little less in my control and more in God's. Ouch, hubby! (God picked a keeper, now didn't he?)

Isn't that so true, though? When everything is in our control and under our command, it can feel very safe. But safe is all it tends to be. A life of caution is alluring, but it leaves out God. When we leave out God, we stop progressing. We become still, and eventually stagnant. Don't do what I did and continue to grasp so tightly to what you do have that all life is squeezed out of it. Seek God, and when he puts something on your heart that feels too out of control to even attempt, go for it. Let God reveal to you what can be abandoned during your Exodus.

7. Find Your All in God

This is probably one that you have heard before. Maybe you have heard it so many times that it no longer holds meaning. But finding your all in God really meets the road when you come face to face with a situation that saps you of your joy and peace. Being rooted in God is not necessarily about how you feel when you're in a time of peace. Our reliance on God is most evident when we find ourselves in situations in which, if we don't have peace and joy from God, we will have none at all.

If you are feeling absolutely drained of all joy and peace, get in the word. Look up verses about who God is. Spend time reading and listening to the word. Fill yourself up. Jeremiah 17:7-8 says, 

"7 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
8 He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit.”"

Send your roots out into the stream. Be constantly planted by the river of God's word. The word of God is not just words either. In a society that is constantly on the internet, we are bombarded with an onslaught of texts and articles. But God's word is not like the other mere literature that we read. The word of God is full of mountain moving, world creating power! Hebrews 4: 12 says, "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Do you feel like you are running below empty? Fill up. Read the word of God.

My exodus has not been quite as hectic as the one depicted in the Bible, but it has not been a cake walk. God has been teaching me and refining me throughout this entire time. It is a wonderful process, but at the same time, it is a trying one. All in all, if you find yourself in similar circumstances, remember that you are not alone. God is always with us waiting for us to ask for help. We don't need to despair, and we don't have to loose hope. God does have great things in store for absolutely every single one of us. We are more than conquerors, we can approach the throne, and we are righteous through Christ! Situations may be tough, but we are not overcome. So if we feel like our options are exhausted, with slavery behind us and hunger ahead of us, all we really need to do is be still and know that he is God. He is mighty, and mighty to deliver us.

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Thank you for taking the time to read! Have you experienced an exodus season of your own? I would love to hear your thoughts! If you'd like to receive more Scrawltastic, then what doth hinder you? Subscribe by email, or find me on Facebook! I would love to get to know you!

All in all, you must know that you are loved, and you never have to spruce up for God!

Have a great Wednesday!

Different but Better

I am not a bigtime blogger. This journey into blogging has not even reached one year yet, so it makes sense that I am still reaching under twenty people. But I am fine with that. I know that whatever God wants to happen will happen when he desires it to. All I have to do for the time being is follow God's direction.

That being said, I still like to look to my fellow blogging community for advice. Often my searches in Google have the word blog somewhere in it. Sometimes what I find is encouraging. I read a tutorial on how to do something that I have never tried and leave invigorated and excited. Other times, after reading blog posts insisting that I can't get by without doing this or that, I leave discouraged because I know that's just not the way that God has called me to do things.

Am I the only one? I know that not everyone wants to pursue blogging like I do, but have you ever taken a look into the world that you feel God has called you to and left feeling discouraged?

Maybe you want to lead but have read that you're not assertive enough, or male enough. Maybe the field you want to go in is one that involves being in the spotlight- something few people in this world get to do. Whatever it is that you feel God has placed in your heart, I think we have all felt like God was trying to get a fish to fly at some point. But let me propose that that is a good thing.

Throughout the Bible, people have been called to the most unlikely spots. There is story after story of people doing things in an odd way; a way that most would describe as out of character. Moses was afraid to speak, much less lead and entire nation. Not to mention the disconnect between him and the people because of his Egyptian upbringing. Moses might as well have been trying to row up the Nile the wrong direction without a paddle! But Moses did it.

Esther was not suppose to approach the king like she did. It was against the rules, and considering that the last queen got nixed because she did not come before the King when asked, I think when and when not to come before him was pretty important to the King! But she did, and the King favored her.

Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah decided not to eat what the king had for them. By taking a stand for God and eating only vegetables and water they were also potentially endangering their lives. But at the end of the ten days on vegetables and water, they looked much more fit than the other young men who indulged in the kings food. It didn't make sense in the eyes of the man over them, but they did it, and God honored them.

Rahab the prostitute invited in and protected the spies sent from Israel even though they were about to overthrow the place that she lived. But she acted out of character. Rahab broke the mold, and she is  in the line of Jesus!

Ruth decided to stay with her mother in law instead of staying with her people. She held onto Naomi while Orpah left. It was completely outside of what we would expect from Ruth, in fact it perplexes me sometimes when reading it. But Ruth stepped out of the expected and started on a journey that would end up introducing her to a new man that would care for her and provide for her. Ruth was not destined to continue on as a widow for the rest of her life. But who knows what might have happened if she had decided to play it safe instead of honor Naomi (who had nothing for her).

Sometimes a life or career led by God will lead us to do things that others might ridicule or scoff at. When we follow God, we tend to do things differently. Joseph put food away, and in doing so, saved an entire nation! Why? Because he had an inside man: God. When you trust God, he will lead you to do things that in the natural make little sense, but in the heavenlies things are falling into place. 

We are different because of God. We are taught to love instead of seeking out power to lord over others. The world might not quite get it, but when they see what God does through you and with you, they'll be forced to say, "somethings's different about them, and it's working".

God favors the under dog, the quiet person, the servant. We don't have to be loud or obnoxious and try to make our own way like the rest of the world. God lifts us up on wings like eagles- he's already making a way! 

If you're weary because the world describes leaders as strong, powerful, in control, overbearing, and commanding- If you're exhausted from getting looked over because those around you appear to others to be more fit like Daniel and his brothers, don't give up. Do not give up. God sees you! He sees all that you are and how far you are willing to go for him.

We must lean on God for the strength to be patient while outside sources try to discourage. God values those who are willing to go against the grain. God is counter culture. He is completely opposite of what one expects an all powerful being to be. We are bound not to fit in. Even the Pharisees did not recognize the son of God among them because they had different ideas about what a reining king would look and act like. But God had a plan, and it was only going to work his way.

So we may not fit the mold. We may have the rest of the world trying to tell us that we don't have the right credentials. But if God Almighty called us to do something, you'd better believe that we are going to be able to do it, and do it right. We only need to stay rooted in what God called is to do. Not what the blog posts, tutorials, gurus or experts insist that we need to do. If we make sure to always listen to what God is asking of us, he is always faithful to lift us up in due time for his glory.

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Thanks for reading! This is something that God has impressed upon me for a while now. What do you feel like God is calling you to do? Have you ever felt like the the world is trying to tell you to back off of what you know God has for you? Let's talk about it! I would love to have your input!

If you'd like to stay in touch after you leave, you can find me on Facebook, or you can always go old school and enter in your email address to the side.

God has great plans for you! And always remember, God  L O V E S  you!

New Years in April

I don't know if you've noticed at all, but there has been something missing from Scrawltastic lately. I have not out out an update on my journey with my resolutions! That is for a few reasons.

Firstly, I was beginning to hate doing them. My whole month felt like it revolved around trying to keep up with my resolutions so that I would have something good to report. It was nice to have the knowledge that I was going to post an update on my blog motivating me, but that soon dwindled.

Secondly, these updates at first had a lot that was interesting to them. It was fun to see how I might have progressed and changed. But after the third update about my January resolutions came around, it was clear to me that it was all coming off very "me me me"-ish. And I really don't care to fill Scrawltastic with post after post about myself. I was just trying to chronicle what I thought might turn into something quite interesting if I stuck with it.

Which leads me to my third problem. I did not stick with my resolutions. Life happened, as it tends to do, and other more important things surfaced. Eventually the toll of taking on several resolutions at once showed itself, and it became clear that my plans were doomed from the start.

So here is an honest recap of what I like to call Operation Stop Boring My Readers With My Failure, or SBMRWMY for short.

Let's start with one last grueling recap. Here, again, are my resolutions for 2015

1. Two blog post's a week. I think that should be more than manageable. I also want to write at least six short stories this year. That's a half of a story per month. There is no set length, so I can go as long or short as I want. 

3. Three chapters a day. And it must be one book at a time. Not counting the Bible, of course.

5. Expect three pictures per month. Yep- three. That feels scary, but if it matters to me, I can take at least three pictures that I like enough to post each month. I owe it to myself to not chicken out of this one, so there it is. Three a month. Done.

8. I really like to do stretches on my yoga mat in the morning, and I use to make at lest fifteen minutes of time for it every day. I'm going to go back to that. A few minutes of yoga every day. That's final. Any person is capable of that. No chickening out, Candace! No chickening out! Also in the realm of taking care of my temple, I am committing to fifteen minutes of cardio at least five days a week. This is not hard to find time for. It's just the execution that I have problems with. Again. No chickening out, Candace.

9. I am committing to at least fifteen minutes of solid prayer time. It's as simple as that.

3, 8, and 9 died a quiet death. I do not make time for exercises. I hardly ever read. And I am sad to say that my prayer time is abhorrently low. But I have, for the most part, keep up with my blog.

So what now? Am I abandoning my quest to keep up with my resolutions? Not entirely. In fact, I sort of have some new ones! But I am not sure that I am going to keep on boring everyone with a new update on my resolutions every month. I just don't know that it is interesting blog-worthy material. Not to mention how dumb it feels to devote an entire post to myself at the beginning of each month. Honestly, I promise I'm not as vain as it seems!

So I will not be continuing with this series of posts. Not month, you can expect not to see a continuance of these Resolution Recaps. But I will let you know about a few things that I learned while engaging in the mountain of a task that I set out to accomplish.

1. 10 Resolutions Is Way Too Many!
I made a list of things that I really wanted to do. I wanted to be someone who exercised their mind and body every day. I wanted to be fearless and get things done. I wanted to be better. But taking on ten thousand new things is not the step to take if you're interested in bettering yourself. It is a great way to figure out what really matters to you, but taking on too many goals means that you're inevitably going to loose some along the way. But that's okay. Don't be too hard on yourself like I was. To accomplish any resolutions is much more than most of the population can say. I should be proud that I stuck to any resolutions at all! Two out of five! Go me! (Not vain, I promise.)

2. January Is Not a Magical Month
I don't mean that it is a bad month, but it is just as good for starting something new as any of the other months in the year. You can have February resolutions, March resolutions, April resolutions- any month of the year will do! But we get in such a frenzy to become better people at the start of the year that I think we forget that the "magical" ingredient is our willingness to obey paired with God's ability to change hearts and lives. The start of the year is not what we need to finally lose that weight or kick that habit. God paired with a willingness to show up is what we need.

2 Chronicles 20:17 says, 17 "You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem!’ Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you. " I love that example, because it shows God telling the Israelites not to fear, but also to show up.

If you're wishing that you had some new years resolution style fire in you, then ask God for help, trust in him, don't fear, and show up. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in how helpless we are against what seems like giants in our lives, that we forget that God never forces us to do anything. God does not control our decisions and gave us free will. We can choose to kick the habit we don't like, or we can sit in is wondering why nothing is changing. God does give us the strength we need, and he does change our hearts. But we need to take a step of faith and step our of the boat if we wish to walk on the water. Could it be that some of us are earnestly praying for a water walk, but we are still camping out in the warm, dry boat?

Could it be that some of us are earnestly praying for a water walk, but we are still camping out in the warm, dry boat? Click to tweet!

3. Some Things Are More Important Than Others
This may seem like an incredibly obvious point, but when it  comes to New Years Resoultions, it's really not. If I asked you to name off some New Yeas Resolutions, what would they be? According to USA.gov, the most popular resolutions are:

Lose Weight
Volunteer to Help Others
Quit Smoking
Get a Better Education
Get a Better Job
Save Money
Get Fit
Eat Healthy Food
Manage Stress
Manage Debt
Take a Trip
Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle
Drink Less Alcohol

Those are all great goals. But none of them will make a person truly happy. There are plenty of thin, smoke free, volunteers with great jobs that recycle and drink less alcohol and save money whilst on a trip to Mexico managing their stress. But if they have no relationship with Jesus, they have nothing. 

Philippians 3:8 says,  8 "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ". That is an intense way to view life. Everything else pails in comparison to Christ so much that all else is counted as rubbish. If we could only see the importance of knowing God and having a real relationship with him, everything else just would't seem as important. Yes many of the things on that list are important. But when we expect the completion of goals to be the thing that finally makes us happy/happy with ourselves, we are setting ourselves up for a let down.

True holy spiritual completeness/peace/contentment is found only when we find ourselves first in God.  Matthew 13:45-46 puts it this way, “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, 46 who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it." God sought us out at the price of the life of his son. God did not see failure as an option when it came to us being able to spend eternity with him. And the magnitude and glory of who God is and how beautiful he is urges us to do the same. All else pales in comparison to the treasure that is being reconciled to God. God first loved us, and God's amazing love calls us to mirror that type of field buying passion. When we set aside all else in order to be in a place of utter devotion to God, we  discover that all of the things we sold to get there really weren't that important anyway.

So all in all, this experience has caused growth. I am a little disappointed that I'm abandoning a project, but I am still glad that I tried it out. I have many goals that I intend to put into action down the line. I will not stop treating every month just like I treat January around New Years. But all in all, my focus has been brought back to God, and that is where it will stay. A better version of myself might bring slight satisfaction, but in the end, I must not think that my happiness will be sustained by self improvement. God is most important. I do not need to stress over a list any longer.

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I'm so glad that you stopped by and took the time to see what all of the fuss was about! What are some current goals that you have? I'd love to read about them! If you don't want to miss out on anything Scrawltastic, you can always drop by and like Scrawltastic on Facebook. Or if you'd like you can go ahead and subscribe via email and get posts sent right to your inbox.

Go with grace, and don't forget that God loves Y O U!

When Condemnation Strikes

Every now and then in life, I let myself get down because of mistakes that I make. I feel ashamed, broken, out of place, and even a little condemned. It doesn't even have to really be a mistake that I have made, it could be guilt for buying a pair of jeans- even when I only have one other pair that really fits. Why would I feel guilt for that? I clearly have a real need, but fear bubbles up and turns into guilt and condemnation. They were on sale too! What's the deal?!

These feelings are brief, because I have it ingrained in me that there is now no condemnation. In my head, I know it is true that I have no reason to be consumed with fear and sadness. But it almost seems like my rising heart rate, and defeated attitude don't want to listen, as if they enjoy this state of turmoil. In times when my knowledge of who God is and my feelings butt heads, the question rises: how do I stop feeling like this and start walking in what God has for me? So over years of knowing the grace, mercy, and lovingkindness that my God has for me while also battling negative thoughts, I have found a few thing that really help.

1. Prayer Coupled with Faith

Prayer is our open dialogue with God. I never "spruce up" for him at all, because I know he already sees what I have done, and who I am. By not trying to fake it, I find that God is able to be real with me. Not that God ever puts on a front, but when we hold back some of who we are from God, we limit how fully he can work in our lives. We should not be afraid to come to God with anything. He is not angry at all. He has only love for his children.

Now, that being said, I made sure to include "Coupled with Faith". James 1:5-8 lays it out pretty plainly, "5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. 7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. 8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways."

Please don't take this as discouragement or something to make you at all afraid. For a while, this verse made me feel a little defeated. Am I being double minded? Am I sabotaging myself? That was not the intention of this verse. The entire point of this passage was to spur on faith. Yah, I can believe! If I ask, I will receive! Thank you, Lord, in advance, because I am so expectant of what I asked for, that I can't help but to already say thanks! 

If you are having trouble believing God when you pray, one thing that helped me is to start by believing God for tiny things. Believe him for what you can as an exercising of your faith. Just as we walk before we run, we can also strengthen our faith by starting small and working our way up.

Another thing that I have found helps me exercise my faith is to remember what God has done for me in the past. There are so many definite times in my life that God has been gracious toward me or provided in some way. When I draw my mind back to those times, it almost feels ridiculous that I would doubt him again.

In the same turn, I have been with countless friends and acquaintances that are constantly asking for prayer, but still talk in a defeated tone as if nothing has been or ever could be done for them. Our God is the one who parted the Red Seas and raised Jesus back to life. If we pray for something, we have no reason to do it with anything but a sense of accomplishment. It is not up in the air for us; we are more than conquerors through Christ.

2. Hear the Word

While we are on the subject of faith and believing that God really is for us and has no condemnation for us, I must impress upon you the power of hearing the word. When we get into the word and hear it spoken over our lives something happens in our spirit. Our faith is built up. Romans 10:17 says, "17 So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ." Start speaking verses out loud when you start to feel condemned, fearful and put down. The word will not return void.

Romans 8:1 clearly states that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ. Print out the verse you stand on and tape it to your mirror or your computer at work. Do what it takes. Speak the verse aloud. Even have the narrator function on your computer read it aloud to you! I tried it just to see what it would sound like. It sounds a lot like someone who is having some trouble reading but very confidently mispronouncing  every three words. It was odd, but even from the electronic voice on my computer, there was power in the word of God! If you are having trouble with something, there is a verse for it in the bible. Find it, print it, and hear it.

3. Take Your Eyes Off of Yourself

When I dwell on what I have done that I should not have, it has the automatic effect of discouraging me. When I concentrate on all that I have done, and try to feel better about who I am, it usually fails me. That is because to truly boot insecurity and feeling of being condemned, we must have our identity rooted in Christ. The more that we look to God, concentrate on who he is, his goodness and love, and worship him, the more that we will find that who we are is not the deciding factor for our peace. Our peace is found in God and who he is.

Life in Christ is not about obtaining salvation through Jesus in order to be a better person. We will be fallible until we die and meet up with Jesus in heaven. The point of being on this planet and coming to know Christ is to glorify him and come to know him: R E L A T I O N S H I P .  It's like we are trying to live a life of worship for God, but doing it with a floor length mirror in front of us. We focus on what we are doing and how we look doing it the whole time. We may have the sincere desire to not mess up, perfect ourselves and not sin, but the constant inward focus will block our view of God and eventually leave us feeling hollow. Concentrate daily, hourly, moment by moment on God, his goodness, his love, how great he is. That step alone may put your life on a 180 degree turn.

4. Admit When You Experience Conviction

This step might as well say Attn: Candace. And you know what, I would love it if it said that, because it is a holy experience when the Holy Spirit grabs ahold of you. By that I mean, when the Spirit pricks your conscience and brings something that you have done to your attention, it may be painful, but it is an awesome opportunity to let yourself be soft, malleable clay. When we are open to conviction, confession, and repentance, we are able to see ourselves move lightyears past the old man in us that holds us back. Old habits can be broken. The same old rut that we return to even though we remember how it ended last time can become a fading memory. We can let the new man manifest here on Earth instead of waiting until heaven, but we must be open and willing to accept the soft soft correction of the Holy Spirit.

God will never play you like a puppet. We have free will, and because of that we can freely love him, or freely choose the path of death. Because our existence is set up that way, the method that God uses to mold us in this life is not force, but conviction. And conviction is completely different from condemnation. Being condemned has to do with separation with God. One who is condemned is judged and disapproved. They have little to no hope. One who is convicted hears, "that was not right", rather than, "out of my sight. You are defined by what you just did".

2 Corinthians 7: 10 says, "10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death." So yes, you may experience grief in the moment. After doing something that we know God has been working on in us, we will probably feel our conscience twinge. In that moment, we must not hide ourselves from God, deny our action, or rationalize it in our head. We need only to say, "yes, God. You're right. That was not what I need to be doing", and then trust God to give us the strength to obey him. Conviction leads to salvation without regret. Condemnation only produces death.

There is a difference, and with that a need to be able to tell the difference. Pray and seek God next time you are facing grief for what you have done. Look at the way you are feeling. Are you overwhelmed with despair or simply aware of what you have done? Look at what it is that you are worked up about. Is it leading you towards God or stealing your peace. Little by little it becomes easier to pull God's voice out from the worthless thoughts in your head telling you that you should lose all hope. God will guide you. He loves us. He has no condemnation for us. That means that he does not wish us to be filled with anxiety about every little action. Walk with him, talk with him, and keep your eyes on him. He will fill you with love and peace that passes all understanding.

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Thank you for chilling with me over the web for a few words! I'm so glad you're here! What are your favorite ways to keep your eyes on God? Share your thoughts bellow!

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Thank you again for dropping by! 

Have a wonderful Thursday.

Easter Sacrifice

You know that feeling that you get after you have finished something that you were dreading doing, but really needed to get done? That feeling of bliss that follows after completing said arduous task? It occurred to me today, after relieving myself without the accompaniment of a small cup and a diagram on the inside of a doctor’s office bathroom, that Jesus might have experienced a similar feeling after rising from the dead on that first Easter morning.

Jesus conquered all sin. All past sin and all future sin were finished on the cross. Jesus took the full wrath that God had for our sins, every last drop. But it is clear that he was not looking forward to it. We have a description in the bible of Jesus sweating drops of blood while asking God to let the cup of his wrath pass from him.

The fact that Jesus was not particularly just chomping at the bit to be killed on a cross strikes me as incredibly humbling but also mildly disappointing. Growing up, Jesus praying that God might let this cup pass from him was never the focal point of any sermon that I heard. The pictures of Jesus on a cross that I colored on Easter morning included a normal looking, happy Jesus- very G rated stuff. I think we all rather like the willing heroic picture of Jesus strolling toward Calvary with chest out and a grin on his face. And while Jesus was completely obedient to God, he did still understand exactly what he was doing and how much it was going to hurt.

What Jesus did was intense. He was whipped, and crucified on the cross. Jesus fulfilled the old prophesies. But we must not forget the magnitude of what actually happened. On a warm day in the spring, amidst pastel colors, matching dresses and plastic candy filled eggs, it can be easy to distance ourselves from the depth of what happened up on calvary.

Most churches get a large onslaught of twice a year visitors on the first Sunday of April. In response, many pastors preach with the goal to reach those that might not even really believe in God more than just saving face on Easter. Their sermons are meant to get the message out there. And don’t get me wrong, I love this! Ushering a huge group of people into the kingdom is an exciting thought! But let us who know and walk in an active relationship with God year round take some time to really think about the less than G-rated version of the Easter story.

Let us take some time to really think about the less than G-rated version of the Easter story. Click to tweet.

Yes, Jesus died and rose again, but we must not let those words become stale and lose their meaning. What Jesus did was serious enough, scary enough, and real enough for him to make one last check with God to see if there was any other way. The price for us to be reconciled to God was huge enough that the lover of our souls' sweat, and it came out blood red. We may wish to water down the story for the sake of making it slightly more palatable, but the fact of the matter is that what Jesus did for us on that cross is beyond understanding.

The price for us to be reconciled to God was huge enough that the lover of our souls sweat, and it came out blood red. Click to tweet.

The Passion did what I assume to be a good job of recreating the visual aspects of that day (and even that could still fall short. It did, after all, have to be viewable in theatres), but what about the spiritual? What about the sheer spiritual anguish of taking in your heavenly Father’s entire wrath, all of God’s just punishment for all sin? And what about the fact that Jesus was completely cut off from the presence of the Lord, "My God, my God! Why have you forsaken me?"?

I am sure that the feeling that Jesus had after everything was all finished with was unlike anything else to which we might try to compare it. Jesus even breathed out, “it is finished”, at the end. I mean, how does the sacrificial savior of the world feel after triumphing over evil? What Jesus did was mind-blowingly, astronomically great. The weight that should have been ours to bear, the price that had Jesus sweating drops of blood, is completely gone. Paid in full.

Words do not do justice to how incredible this gift is. Next time you feel relieved after finishing something that you really didn’t feel like doing, take a special moment to remember what Jesus did for us. Our salvation was not G-rated. It is absolutely the hardest thing that any person had or ever will endure. Jesus might have desired to have God’s insurmountable wrath to pass from him, but he also loved us, and he also was fiercely obedient to God. 

The fact that Jesus pressed on and was faithful to obey God’s plan should be a source of great rejoicing! But we also mustn’t forget what was necessary for us to be able to spend eternity with God. It is worth treating with reverence. It is worth meditating on. This Easter, let us spend some time in reverence, considering the price it took for us to have this gift of mercy. Let us praise Jesus, and humbly recognize what he really did.

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Thank you for chilling with me over the web for a few words! I'm so glad you're here! What do you consider your favorite/the most thought provoking part of the Easter story? Share your thoughts bellow!

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Thank you again for dropping by! 

God loves you so much that he sent his perfect son to the cross to take pay the price for all of our sins. He is not mad at you at all!! He loves you like crazy! Have a great Easter, and be blessed!

Offended

Time for real talk. I struggle with letting myself become offended. There are some situations that when I am in, I find it harder to not get aggravated, like driving (haha, yah) or while at work. That's not to say that my job is strenuous or particularly annoying, but in those times, I find it difficult to not let insignificant things offend me.

I, as a child of God, am not called to be an overly aggravated person. I am not called to turmoil, or anger. I have a spirit of peace, love and a sound mind. Nowhere in there is offended, angry, or chip on my shoulder. So what do we do, while living in a world that practically encourages a spirit of offense, to be in it but not of it?

First, lets talk a little bit more about being offended. The word offended means, "resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult." So basically what you dad meant when he said that you have "a chip on your shoulder".

As I said earlier, in this present day, we are a people in love with being offended. As of the 90's, we have a new way of speaking called PC, politically correct, that is designed to not offend anyone. We have the internet, which has opened up Pandora's box of anonymity, creating a whole new way to express any and every moment of offense. Have you looked at a comment section lately? I wouldn't wish for my worst enemy to comment something political or religious in the wrong sector of the internet. Yikes!

Yes, most of us have a nice large chip on our shoulders. We all have our buzzwords or pet peeves; roads that other people just better not go down. Being mild mannered is a thing of the past. Now, the thing to be is outspoken. Stand up for yourself! But to what cost? Are we leaving some important things behind when we choose to embrace being offended?

I once read an entire Christian blog post about how we as Christians are called to judge. I balked outwardly as I read the article, and cringed even harder inwardly as I looked down the comment section to see person after person praising the article! The post was being hardily embraced by most of the viewers, or at least the ones that felt inclined to comment. Maybe the ones who disagreed feared impending judgement, but that's neither here nor there.

I'm not really sure if I can blame the writer or those who agreed, though. Sometimes, I think I am very much the same. I mean, it feels good to take offense, right. It feels good to judge! To take what someone else did and amplify it until it blocks out the rays of anything that you might be caught up in at the moment feels nice. It's safe, and it just makes you feel like maybe you really are alright.

But that's not what the word-I mean THE WORD, not the blogs, or the news stations- says. James 2:13 says, "For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment." Hmm. Mercy triumphs over judgement. Hmmm.

And what about James 3:13-18? "Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." A harvest of righteous is sown in peace and by those who make peace. Wow. Goosebumps.

So where does that leave us with being offended? Well in a biblical sense, taking offense is just another way of saying that there was an opportunity to forgive that was missed. Now, I am not saying that forgiveness isn't hard sometimes. Forgiveness, when walked out-lived out- is completely sacrificial (i.e. HARD). But it's the Christian way; the way Jesus calls us to live.

Forgiveness, when walked out-lived out- is completely sacrificial (i.e. HARD), but it's the way Jesus calls us to live. Click to tweet!

When asked by his disciple how many times he should forgive, Jesus answered seventy times seven. If you watched veggie tales as a kid, you'll remember the hillbilly carrot saying that it is "Four hundred and ninety!" That is a lot, but I don't think that Jesus was instructing us to put a cap on our forgiveness. I think this is just proof that 1. Jesus really wants us to forgive, and 2. Jesus has a dry sense of humor.

So it is important to forgive. Paramount, if we are to walk in the love that God desires for us, but offense is not just simple unforgiveness. Taking offense also involves an element of anger. It's not fun either. I don't know about you, but when I am angry, and I have more experience in that than I would like to admit, I feel horrible. My body amps up on all of this negative energy, my happiness and peace are sapped completely, and I physically feel gross. I don't like it, and especially after experiencing peace (what God desires us to abide in), I don't ever want to go back to being an angry person.

Offense is toxic, and it can completely pull a dark cloud over the most upbeat, loving attitude. Offense will squelch what God has for you, but it will also thwart what God may have given to other people through you. Let me say that again, the people that we might have reached otherwise may not be getting reached with God's love, because we are choosing to accept a spirit of offense.

Offense will squelch what God has for you, but it will also thwart what God may have given to other people through you.  Click to tweet!

But what about when people do something to me or towards me that is wrong? Gotcha. I know. No, I really know. I have had to overlook, work through, pray over, have friends and family pray over some pretty offensive situations. Sometimes it really takes time. But it is so worth it.

Proverbs 19:11 says, "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." When we come across potentially aggravating situations in which we are wronged, it is heavenly wisdom to not pick up a spirit of offense. Pinterest and our favorite political gurus may tell us it is wise to be your own person and not take nothin' from no one, but that's not God's way.

Going back to James 3:18, (sorry, I just can't get over this verse) we are told that "a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace". So anyone who is aggressively (argumentatively, angrily) preaching that America needs God is missing it. The harvest of righteousness that America (and the rest of the world too. Frankly, God is not prone to partiality.) needs will be sown in peace.

Friends, the offended Christian, regardless of however much gusto they might have for the kingdom of God, will never be able to reap the harvest that they so fervently preach. I know that we have our beliefs, religious and political, but if we allow ourselves to take up a spirit of offense, then we might as well just be a bush with too many birds in it.

If we allow ourselves to take up a spirit of offense, then we might as well just be a bush with too many birds in it.  Click to tweet!

Super ugly bush. Why, landlord? Why?

In front of Teagan and I's house is a rather large bush. I consider it to be unsightly and unwanted, but we live in a rental, so that's the works. Inside that bush are enough birds so that sometimes they just break into fits of chirping. On what otherwise could have been a quiet afternoon, I have to actively drown out what quickly becomes an overbearing, pointless, nonsensical barrage of high pitched tweets. I wonder if, as the body of Christ, we don't come across to some people like that.

Psalm 37:8 reads, "Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil." I have this one taped up on my computer monitor at work. Anytime that I feel annoyed at what someone does, I read this verse. When someone does what seems condescending, I read this verse. When I am tempted by my own desires to remember people who have undoubtedly treated me like I was nothing, I read that verse over and over again. And then a few more times.

Reminding myself that accepting and mentally expanding on angry, offended thoughts will only "tend to evil" helps me snap out of it. And I do mean snap out of it! My mind has the tendency to latch on to thoughts of anger and offense. When that happens, it can feel like I am in some sort of trance. I start thinking irrationally, and I really have to bring myself back to reality.

"They are for you here, Candace. No one wants to put you down." Or maybe, "that was a long time ago. I am redeemed from that situation!". And even, "It's not worth it", are thoughts that will help me to stop going down the rabbit trail. For some of us, these phrases need to be constantly running through our mind. And the power verses, like 2 Timothy 1:7 or Psalm 37:8 need to be in sight as much as possible, all the time if you can!

God has a path and plan for each of us. He desires for us to make great leaps and bounds for the Kingdom! We must submit to him and choose to walk the selfless path of peace. God has a harvest of righteousness planned for every single one of our lives, our communities,  and cities. He just needs those who will willingly make peace. Let us all say, "Here I am! Lord send me!"

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I mentioned a few, but what are some of your "goosebump" verses? I would love to add some more to the list! Feel free to rant, rave or simply comment in the section bellow! 

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Thanks for hanging out for a bit, and always remember, God loves you!