Offended

Time for real talk. I struggle with letting myself become offended. There are some situations that when I am in, I find it harder to not get aggravated, like driving (haha, yah) or while at work. That's not to say that my job is strenuous or particularly annoying, but in those times, I find it difficult to not let insignificant things offend me.

I, as a child of God, am not called to be an overly aggravated person. I am not called to turmoil, or anger. I have a spirit of peace, love and a sound mind. Nowhere in there is offended, angry, or chip on my shoulder. So what do we do, while living in a world that practically encourages a spirit of offense, to be in it but not of it?

First, lets talk a little bit more about being offended. The word offended means, "resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult." So basically what you dad meant when he said that you have "a chip on your shoulder".

As I said earlier, in this present day, we are a people in love with being offended. As of the 90's, we have a new way of speaking called PC, politically correct, that is designed to not offend anyone. We have the internet, which has opened up Pandora's box of anonymity, creating a whole new way to express any and every moment of offense. Have you looked at a comment section lately? I wouldn't wish for my worst enemy to comment something political or religious in the wrong sector of the internet. Yikes!

Yes, most of us have a nice large chip on our shoulders. We all have our buzzwords or pet peeves; roads that other people just better not go down. Being mild mannered is a thing of the past. Now, the thing to be is outspoken. Stand up for yourself! But to what cost? Are we leaving some important things behind when we choose to embrace being offended?

I once read an entire Christian blog post about how we as Christians are called to judge. I balked outwardly as I read the article, and cringed even harder inwardly as I looked down the comment section to see person after person praising the article! The post was being hardily embraced by most of the viewers, or at least the ones that felt inclined to comment. Maybe the ones who disagreed feared impending judgement, but that's neither here nor there.

I'm not really sure if I can blame the writer or those who agreed, though. Sometimes, I think I am very much the same. I mean, it feels good to take offense, right. It feels good to judge! To take what someone else did and amplify it until it blocks out the rays of anything that you might be caught up in at the moment feels nice. It's safe, and it just makes you feel like maybe you really are alright.

But that's not what the word-I mean THE WORD, not the blogs, or the news stations- says. James 2:13 says, "For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment." Hmm. Mercy triumphs over judgement. Hmmm.

And what about James 3:13-18? "Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." A harvest of righteous is sown in peace and by those who make peace. Wow. Goosebumps.

So where does that leave us with being offended? Well in a biblical sense, taking offense is just another way of saying that there was an opportunity to forgive that was missed. Now, I am not saying that forgiveness isn't hard sometimes. Forgiveness, when walked out-lived out- is completely sacrificial (i.e. HARD). But it's the Christian way; the way Jesus calls us to live.

Forgiveness, when walked out-lived out- is completely sacrificial (i.e. HARD), but it's the way Jesus calls us to live. Click to tweet!

When asked by his disciple how many times he should forgive, Jesus answered seventy times seven. If you watched veggie tales as a kid, you'll remember the hillbilly carrot saying that it is "Four hundred and ninety!" That is a lot, but I don't think that Jesus was instructing us to put a cap on our forgiveness. I think this is just proof that 1. Jesus really wants us to forgive, and 2. Jesus has a dry sense of humor.

So it is important to forgive. Paramount, if we are to walk in the love that God desires for us, but offense is not just simple unforgiveness. Taking offense also involves an element of anger. It's not fun either. I don't know about you, but when I am angry, and I have more experience in that than I would like to admit, I feel horrible. My body amps up on all of this negative energy, my happiness and peace are sapped completely, and I physically feel gross. I don't like it, and especially after experiencing peace (what God desires us to abide in), I don't ever want to go back to being an angry person.

Offense is toxic, and it can completely pull a dark cloud over the most upbeat, loving attitude. Offense will squelch what God has for you, but it will also thwart what God may have given to other people through you. Let me say that again, the people that we might have reached otherwise may not be getting reached with God's love, because we are choosing to accept a spirit of offense.

Offense will squelch what God has for you, but it will also thwart what God may have given to other people through you.  Click to tweet!

But what about when people do something to me or towards me that is wrong? Gotcha. I know. No, I really know. I have had to overlook, work through, pray over, have friends and family pray over some pretty offensive situations. Sometimes it really takes time. But it is so worth it.

Proverbs 19:11 says, "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." When we come across potentially aggravating situations in which we are wronged, it is heavenly wisdom to not pick up a spirit of offense. Pinterest and our favorite political gurus may tell us it is wise to be your own person and not take nothin' from no one, but that's not God's way.

Going back to James 3:18, (sorry, I just can't get over this verse) we are told that "a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace". So anyone who is aggressively (argumentatively, angrily) preaching that America needs God is missing it. The harvest of righteousness that America (and the rest of the world too. Frankly, God is not prone to partiality.) needs will be sown in peace.

Friends, the offended Christian, regardless of however much gusto they might have for the kingdom of God, will never be able to reap the harvest that they so fervently preach. I know that we have our beliefs, religious and political, but if we allow ourselves to take up a spirit of offense, then we might as well just be a bush with too many birds in it.

If we allow ourselves to take up a spirit of offense, then we might as well just be a bush with too many birds in it.  Click to tweet!

Super ugly bush. Why, landlord? Why?

In front of Teagan and I's house is a rather large bush. I consider it to be unsightly and unwanted, but we live in a rental, so that's the works. Inside that bush are enough birds so that sometimes they just break into fits of chirping. On what otherwise could have been a quiet afternoon, I have to actively drown out what quickly becomes an overbearing, pointless, nonsensical barrage of high pitched tweets. I wonder if, as the body of Christ, we don't come across to some people like that.

Psalm 37:8 reads, "Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil." I have this one taped up on my computer monitor at work. Anytime that I feel annoyed at what someone does, I read this verse. When someone does what seems condescending, I read this verse. When I am tempted by my own desires to remember people who have undoubtedly treated me like I was nothing, I read that verse over and over again. And then a few more times.

Reminding myself that accepting and mentally expanding on angry, offended thoughts will only "tend to evil" helps me snap out of it. And I do mean snap out of it! My mind has the tendency to latch on to thoughts of anger and offense. When that happens, it can feel like I am in some sort of trance. I start thinking irrationally, and I really have to bring myself back to reality.

"They are for you here, Candace. No one wants to put you down." Or maybe, "that was a long time ago. I am redeemed from that situation!". And even, "It's not worth it", are thoughts that will help me to stop going down the rabbit trail. For some of us, these phrases need to be constantly running through our mind. And the power verses, like 2 Timothy 1:7 or Psalm 37:8 need to be in sight as much as possible, all the time if you can!

God has a path and plan for each of us. He desires for us to make great leaps and bounds for the Kingdom! We must submit to him and choose to walk the selfless path of peace. God has a harvest of righteousness planned for every single one of our lives, our communities,  and cities. He just needs those who will willingly make peace. Let us all say, "Here I am! Lord send me!"

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I mentioned a few, but what are some of your "goosebump" verses? I would love to add some more to the list! Feel free to rant, rave or simply comment in the section bellow! 

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Thanks for hanging out for a bit, and always remember, God loves you!