The other day whilst doing some laundry, I was switching the load from the washer to the dryer and I noticed something. Instead of buying dryer sheets, Teagan and I like to use sponges. What you do is fill a tupperware container full of a mix of fabric softener and water. After guesstimating on both substances until the color feels about right, you soak a sponge in it. The sponge is now ready to be thrown in with a load of clothing to make sure they come out extra soft and smell great. When the load of laundry is done, though, the sponge comes out hard and dry. And at first when you put it back in the tupperware container, it floats.
None of this is news to anyone, I'm sure. We all know that sponges float, and then as they absorb whatever substance they are put into, they slowly sink to the bottom. On this particular day, though, I saw it differently. God spoke through the menial task of doing the laundry and told me that often we are just like that sponge. We are full of things that are going to help us float and not sink when we come across difficult situations in out lives. And when we first start out, it really appears that we are doing great! In the midst of the situation, we are still on the top of our preverbal fabric softener. We aren't sinking. But eventually, because we let negative things come in, we become filled with them and start to sink. In the end we become consumed by what we put in, and that is what we in turn put out.
Jesus covered this in Matthew 15: 18 when he told the Pharisees, "What comes out of the mouth precedes from the heart". Proverbs 4:23 continues on to warns us to guard our hearts because our heart directly affects our actions. If we are not picky about what we let seep into us, we will wake up one day and wonder why what is coming out of our mouths is nothing but trash. It's almost impossible to immerse yourself in negativity and not come out more negative and sour than we once were. My mother taught me this at a young age.
When I was around five or six, my family lived next door to another family that also had a little girl about my age. We would go over and play together quite frequently. I suppose something about this little girl struck my mom as rebellious or disrespectful, because at one point, my mom sat me down and told me something that I never forgot. She said that the little girl was like chocolate milk and I was like regular milk. If I pored her chocolate milk into my regular milk, I wouldn't be white regular milk anymore. I would be brown too. That is still with me to this day. I am so thankful to my mother for finding a way to explain to little girl me how things outside of yourself eventually begin to affect you in a deep way. It may be a deep truth, but being told that so early in my life definitely helped shape me into who I am today.
But that doesn't mean that I haven't struggled with this. There have been many times where I realize, after I have started to act angrier or sadder, that what I am putting in is affecting me in a negative way. And it's so easy to do! I think personally, the cause of such destructive behavior could be narrowed down to two reasons.
First, I think that for some reason, I will not be affected by what I am putting in. Sure, these comments on this video that I am watching are somewhat crude and pretty argumentative, but it will be okay if I scroll through and read them! I'll be fine! So I subject myself to it over and over, commenting and waiting with baited fingers to reply to the arguments that I've elicited, until I look up and realize that I'm doing things I once was not okay with. I have consciously cut out TV shows and even music because it was doing me more harm than good. I'm not writing this to bash your favorite things, but I do want to warn you. Be mindful. Let yourself notice when your mood goes down or your words become negative as the result of putting something in your mind. If it is minimizing the good character traits that God placed within you, then maybe it deserves a reevaluation. And it's not just limited media. The people in our lives can also bring us down too.
My second reason for ending up in situations that cause me to sink rather than to float is quite simple. I have trouble letting go sometimes. Even if you see that it's not doing you any good, it is still hard to let go. One of the areas this plays out in frequently is with friends. The people we choose to be around.
Over this past year, I have "broken up" with a few people that I thought were friends. Funny, I thought after marriage, I would be finished with breaking up with people, but it seems I was not. At one point, I looked up and realized that the people I had chosen to surround myself with were extremely negative. Our hang outs consisted of long constant strings of complaints. Either their bad situations or the rude people around them were the subject of this negativity. And I was catching on to some of their behavior! I can't begin to tell you how much it really sucks to realize that not only are your friends actually not treating you like friends, but to also come into the knowledge that you are starting to become just as hurtful and insecure as they are. But when you start to realize that something is causing your heart to hurt and your words to sour, don't do what I did.
You would think that after I noticed that I was in a damaging relationship with friends that I would hightail it out of there. But I stayed. I marinated in the negative relationship in the hopes that what I use to get from the friendship would come back. But you can't change someone. Their actions are up to them. Please don't make my mistake, friends. Learn from it and spare yourselves the months of discomfort and disappointment. Waiting around for someone to change their ways because of what you use to have is a surefire way to hurt your heart. Be uncompromising in the way that you guard your heart. Once you see that something in your life is putting negativity into you, drop it or them if at all possible.
2 Timothy 2:22 says to RUN from temptation. I know it's not easy. It can even feel like you're doing the wrong thing because you're leaving all you have known. But allowing yourself to have positivity in your life by severing ties is like breathing in fresh air after smelling something burning. You may have not even noticed the air was foul. You may have even forgotten what clean air felt like. As soon as you get outside, though, your nose stops burning, and you know instantly that it is exactly what you have been aching for the whole time.
Friends, God has GOOD for you. He longs for you to enter into daily peace and joy. So don't compromise. You DO matter, and if you need to stop subjecting yourself to something because it is leading you farther away from what God has for you, then don't hesitate. Pray for strength if you are feeling overwhelmed by the thought of parting ways. And most of all, lean on the people who are there for you in your life. Don't put on a strong facade if the inside really is wanting to go back to the destruction you left. Tell someone. Life is too short to fake it and actually be rapidly sinking. Surround yourself with whatever will pour good into you. Be filled with the things of God and float rather than sink.
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Greatness and Haters
As I have mentioned before, I grew up in the church. That means there were numerous church events that I went to while growing up. One Christian conference that I went to around freshman or sophomore year still sticks in my mind. This was your run of the mill conference. There was a speaker and a band doing worship. Nothing out of the ordinary. If I remember correctly, it was a weekend event. We drove to the city that it was in, and I stayed in a hotel room with the other girls from my school. I wasn't really close with the other girls. I felt slightly annoyed that it seemed so hard to be part of their group, but I did enjoy the actual event. I can't remember the name of the vocalist who was doing worship at the event, but at the end, she said something that really impacted me.
She told the story of how in one of her first album cover shoots, she was having her makeup done and overheard the makeup artists basically talking trash about her appearance. It affected her so much that she had to take a moment and just go cry it out. She then went on to empower the many young women that were at the conference by telling us that we could do anything. She said that we were indeed capable of doing something great for God despite what anyone says or will say.
As a high schooler, it really meant something to have a musician say something like that. I was pumped up! My self-confidence was boosted because the person who had done such a great job leading an entire auditorium full of girls and women in worship had just informed me that I have what it takes do really do something big! This was said at the end of the show, so after she said that, we all filed out and went to our cars to prepare to go back home. Two chaperones and I were waiting in the car while the rest of our group was inside either going to the bathroom or buying merchandise. It was freshman/sophomore me in the car with two moms. And what one of the mom's said is the one fact of the story that I can retell with complete accuracy.
They start talking about the end of the conference, and one of the women comments "Yah, she (the women who lead worship and spoke at the end) was really great! I even almost started getting swept away when she started telling everybody that they could do something great for God!" She spoke as if because she was older and a mom, that she really knew that that was all just a bunch of meaningless fluff. I was livid when she said this. I didn't really have any relationship with her. I didn't know this mother. But at that moment, I definitely did not like her anymore. What the artist had said was true, and I knew it deep in my spirit. There was nothing to stop me from doing something great, something worthwhile with God. I know I was young, but when you finally hear and accept a truth from God, it doesn't matter how old you are. I was able to understand the heartbeat of God because of the word spoken over everyone at the conference, and I purposed in my mind that exact moment NOT to let my flame be snuffed by this mother's cynicism.
Sadly, that is how much of the world views things. Even though people do great things every day, they have zero faith that that sort of greatness is for them or those around them. In fact, to them, believing that you could achieve something out of the ordinary is lofty and foolish. People that aspire to do something bigger than themselves are kidding themselves, and their hopes and dreams are childish. But that's not what God tells us. Philippians 4:13, "For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". All things. I'll say that again ALL things. If God has purposed in your heart to be a singer, then you should pursue that dream. If God put it in your heart to own your own successful business, don't listen to those who try to tell you that the economy is too bad. Go with God, and do it! I could go on and on, artists, authors, athletes, salesman, military! If God places it in your heart, He WILL be faithful to complete it! No ifs and's or buts!
Lately, the people that I meet are usually in one of two places. They either have huge visions for themselves, or they feel like they are qualified only for the bare minimum that life has to offer. But the thing is, the only thing that separates the one person from the other is faith. You don't need to be particularly great to be qualified for greatness. Let me just debunk that useless myth right now. The people in the Bible that God used were constantly flawed. Jeremiah was fearful but was a warrior. Noah had a drinking problem but manned a vessel big enough to save all of God's creation. Moses hated public speaking and lead all of Israel on a massive exodus! If you really look, you'll find story after story of unlikely people being used by God for amazing things.
If what God has placed in your heart deviates from the norm, or sounds like too much work, people will try and discourage you from doing it. They will even look down on you or try to sway you towards something safer or more achievable. And to be honest, they are right. What they say you should do will probably be much safer, quieter, duller, and ultimately easier. But that's not the life that God has for us. God is in the business of extraordinary lives built out of circumstances that seem like they should have crashed and burned. But they don't, and that brings God glory! It glorifies God to step out in faith and do something that has a high percentage of failure. And that's all you need to do. Have faith. Step out.
And don't forget, Jesus had haters too. His own family talked down to him and the Bible says that they didn't believe him. If you are going the radical way of living for God and doing what He wills, then you are almost guaranteed to have people along the way telling you exactly why you should not be doing what you are doing. But the trick is to not focus on them. Don't even focus on the ominous task ahead. Keep your gaze locked in on God, because He will be the one encouraging you and softly telling you too keep going and to trust in Him. And by his power, we can do things greater than anyone has yet to imagine.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Stakes in Our Eyes and Thorns in Our Sides
As someone who grew up in the church, I have to say that I often have heard a parable so many times, that I either forget or never fully understand the weight of the story. It looses it's meaning because it becomes an ordinary part of my every day. One of those stories without a doubt has to be Matt 7:3-5 when Jesus references the hypocrisy of being judgmental. The one about the guy who has something in his eye? I'm a poet who didn't now it. Ring any bells? Of course, because we all had the ever so cutely illustrated children's books showing a very tame and fun Bible. But if you think of it, the way he chose to describe being judgmental was a quite gruesome!
Google now has your search set up so that you get a small 4 picture preview of the image search of whatever you type in if it happens to be particularly visual. And truly in this case, I wish that weren't a thing because all I could remember to search that particular passage with was "splinter in eye". I'll spare you the details, but- gross! And that wasn't even the worst of it! Jesus described the man that focused on the splinter as having a log in his own eye! Come on, Jesus, I just had some of Peter's fish, and you know he's a questionable cook at best!
Isn't this so telling, though, of how God views it when we judge? He sees it as pretty gruesome behavior. He really doesn't like it, and to be honest, He thinks we look pretty foolish. I mean some guy walking around with a stake of wood sticking out of his eye decides to bother the guy who has a mere splinter in his. It sounds like a joke your uncle would retell every Thanksgiving.
So let's get into the meat of what's really going on here, because Jesus was trying to get our attention on this one. We all have things in our eyes. Let's be real. We are ALL in need of Jesus saving us. So why do we as the church seem so intent on making it incredibly clear which splinters we are okay with and which ones we are not? Are we too good for those who have birch splinters while we sit in church trying to see past out oak logs? And just as we have all sinned, I think we have all participated in the act of judging others. I have! I'll be the first to admit that I have and still struggle not to judge. It is so easy to do, and for a moment, it makes you feel a little better about your stake.
I have to actively watch myself, especially while I am driving. We are all human; we make mistakes, and when there are a lot of us in one place trying to accomplish our own tasks, the mistakes tend to multiply. So when I drive and someone does something like, drive in the farthest left lane under the limit, I am really tempted to comment on how annoying their splinter is to me right at that moment. Or when I am walking through Hobbie Lobby and some lady with a cart is actively ignoring you while taking up the entrance to the isle, it is really hard to hold onto the reigns of my mind and not mentally comment on how rude she is. Please tell me I'm not the only one here.
Ephesians 6:12 instructs me that in addition to my behavior being judgmental, it is also fruitless. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Let's all take a deep breath and let that one sink in. If the being is made of flesh and blood, our struggle is not against them. So when we decide to take up arms against, get insulted by, or act judgmental towards another person, we are majorly wasting our time and energy. And not only is our time wasted, but we also are missing an opportunity to let God shine.
In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul describes to us a struggle that he had personally. He called it a thorn in his side, following in the footsteps of Jesus by grossing us out a little about a real issue. Paul didn't try to put on a pretty, thornless face, though. He was completely transparent. And after letting Corinth know that he was having this issue, he even goes on to say that he can brag about it. 2 Corinthians 12:9b, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." Wow! That gives me goosebumps to think that Paul, in his respected place in the church, was able to come out to the congregation and say, "Look guys, I know I have this thing going on. To be honest, it is a weakness. But I can boast about it because Christ's power rests upon me because of it!"
In that passage, it also talks about Paul asking God to remove the thorn in his side. I can relate to Paul so closely here. Some weakness that we have bring so much shame, that our response is to ask God to poof it away. But God, in His confounding wisdom tells Paul the last thing he wanted to hear. He told Paul no. But he also said, I'm going to do something even better. God finally said to Paul that "my grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness". Wow. Another goosebump verse. It just fills me to the brim with joy to be able to look in the face of my weakness and bad tendencies and see rather and opportunity for God's power to be made perfect. The Greek word used for "perfected" is teleó, and it means to bring to an end, complete, fulfill.
Friends, when we judge those who are "outsiders"- When we judge those who are trying to find a place, but don't act or look or talk as we do, we are stifling God's power in the church. Acting as if those who struggle are too weak to be a part of our congregation puts a cork in the faucet that God's power flows through. If you are praying for spiritual rain in your area- If you are praying for God's power to be seen, then get ready. Most likely God isn't sending a Mother Taresa or Billy Graham your way. Prepare yourself for the weak, because those are who God's power is fulfilled through.
And if we are honest with ourselves and put down the masks we avidly wear, we might see that we ourselves are but weak vessels waiting to complete God's power. And once more, if we let down our judgmental, spike filled vision and let ourselves be honest about our need for God, we could see God's power flow through our lives like never before. I have found deep liberation through being honest about my struggles rather than trying to fake it. The risk of being looked down upon is far outweighed by what God wants to do in you and through you. So lets war against those whom our struggle is REALLY with. Let's give 'em a run for their money as we put down judgement and pick up our weakness as a badge of honor and testament to the true greatness of out God.
Google now has your search set up so that you get a small 4 picture preview of the image search of whatever you type in if it happens to be particularly visual. And truly in this case, I wish that weren't a thing because all I could remember to search that particular passage with was "splinter in eye". I'll spare you the details, but- gross! And that wasn't even the worst of it! Jesus described the man that focused on the splinter as having a log in his own eye! Come on, Jesus, I just had some of Peter's fish, and you know he's a questionable cook at best!
Isn't this so telling, though, of how God views it when we judge? He sees it as pretty gruesome behavior. He really doesn't like it, and to be honest, He thinks we look pretty foolish. I mean some guy walking around with a stake of wood sticking out of his eye decides to bother the guy who has a mere splinter in his. It sounds like a joke your uncle would retell every Thanksgiving.
So let's get into the meat of what's really going on here, because Jesus was trying to get our attention on this one. We all have things in our eyes. Let's be real. We are ALL in need of Jesus saving us. So why do we as the church seem so intent on making it incredibly clear which splinters we are okay with and which ones we are not? Are we too good for those who have birch splinters while we sit in church trying to see past out oak logs? And just as we have all sinned, I think we have all participated in the act of judging others. I have! I'll be the first to admit that I have and still struggle not to judge. It is so easy to do, and for a moment, it makes you feel a little better about your stake.
I have to actively watch myself, especially while I am driving. We are all human; we make mistakes, and when there are a lot of us in one place trying to accomplish our own tasks, the mistakes tend to multiply. So when I drive and someone does something like, drive in the farthest left lane under the limit, I am really tempted to comment on how annoying their splinter is to me right at that moment. Or when I am walking through Hobbie Lobby and some lady with a cart is actively ignoring you while taking up the entrance to the isle, it is really hard to hold onto the reigns of my mind and not mentally comment on how rude she is. Please tell me I'm not the only one here.
Ephesians 6:12 instructs me that in addition to my behavior being judgmental, it is also fruitless. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Let's all take a deep breath and let that one sink in. If the being is made of flesh and blood, our struggle is not against them. So when we decide to take up arms against, get insulted by, or act judgmental towards another person, we are majorly wasting our time and energy. And not only is our time wasted, but we also are missing an opportunity to let God shine.
In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul describes to us a struggle that he had personally. He called it a thorn in his side, following in the footsteps of Jesus by grossing us out a little about a real issue. Paul didn't try to put on a pretty, thornless face, though. He was completely transparent. And after letting Corinth know that he was having this issue, he even goes on to say that he can brag about it. 2 Corinthians 12:9b, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." Wow! That gives me goosebumps to think that Paul, in his respected place in the church, was able to come out to the congregation and say, "Look guys, I know I have this thing going on. To be honest, it is a weakness. But I can boast about it because Christ's power rests upon me because of it!"
In that passage, it also talks about Paul asking God to remove the thorn in his side. I can relate to Paul so closely here. Some weakness that we have bring so much shame, that our response is to ask God to poof it away. But God, in His confounding wisdom tells Paul the last thing he wanted to hear. He told Paul no. But he also said, I'm going to do something even better. God finally said to Paul that "my grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness". Wow. Another goosebump verse. It just fills me to the brim with joy to be able to look in the face of my weakness and bad tendencies and see rather and opportunity for God's power to be made perfect. The Greek word used for "perfected" is teleó, and it means to bring to an end, complete, fulfill.
Friends, when we judge those who are "outsiders"- When we judge those who are trying to find a place, but don't act or look or talk as we do, we are stifling God's power in the church. Acting as if those who struggle are too weak to be a part of our congregation puts a cork in the faucet that God's power flows through. If you are praying for spiritual rain in your area- If you are praying for God's power to be seen, then get ready. Most likely God isn't sending a Mother Taresa or Billy Graham your way. Prepare yourself for the weak, because those are who God's power is fulfilled through.
And if we are honest with ourselves and put down the masks we avidly wear, we might see that we ourselves are but weak vessels waiting to complete God's power. And once more, if we let down our judgmental, spike filled vision and let ourselves be honest about our need for God, we could see God's power flow through our lives like never before. I have found deep liberation through being honest about my struggles rather than trying to fake it. The risk of being looked down upon is far outweighed by what God wants to do in you and through you. So lets war against those whom our struggle is REALLY with. Let's give 'em a run for their money as we put down judgement and pick up our weakness as a badge of honor and testament to the true greatness of out God.
Friday, August 15, 2014
By Grace
If you're anything like I am, sometimes you have to be reminded of the concept of grace. Grace is such a simple thing that we are taught from a small age, but it is something that Satan is constantly trying to snuff out and replace with the freedom sucking, life crushing falsehood of a works based salvation. Personally, it is a real struggle to keep the mindset that I can neither subtract nor add anything to my salvation. Sometimes, the thoughts that run through my mind are that if I am messing up, I am not allowed to be with God.
This is completely opposite of what was accomplished by Jesus. He came and tore the veil so that we could come boldly to the throne! He didn't come so that we would be motivated to try harder and do better, he came so that upon believing in Him, we would have his righteous as our own. He came so that we would be able to have relationship with God. Let me say that again, Jesus died so that we could be reconciled with God. So we are always in right standing with God! I am never in a spot, nor will I ever be, that will keep me from coming to Him. All of my past, present, and future sins are conquered once and for all. The end. Sayonara.
But I know first hand that hearing about grace, and living in the freedom that grace brings are two different things. Often I, and I think many of us, put down the gospel of grace and pick up one of works. We forgo our relationship with God because we have been tricked into striving and struggling instead of resting and accepting what God has for us. So why do we have such a tough time keeping this straight? Why does it seem that we just can't keep our stories straight when it comes to how we are saved? Well I believe it is due to two main things. I like to call them grace crushers.
Thoughts that are not from God
I put thoughts first on my list because I think that the mind is where most if not all of the major battles in our life are won or lost. What you dwell on has the power to either bring you closer to everything God has for you or send you down a path that steals, kills, and destroys. The fact is, Satan doesn't want us to be with God. Plain and simple, Satan will give his best effort to keep you from having a real, deep relationship with God, and he will try to get you to meditate on and believe lies in order to do so. Now let me just say that we have more power by the name of Jesus than Satan could ever hope to fart out. He should not be something we live in fear of addressing. But it is in our best interest to be aware of what we are thinking about day to day. The smallest of thoughts can rapidly ballon into something that governs or every decision if not handled in its infancy.
Proverbs 4:23 says, "More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it." Protect your mind. You don't have to let every little thing in there. You can have standards even for what you think. Practice being aware of what you are thinking. Don't take what is zooming around as neurons in your cerebral cortex lightly. If something comes into your mind that doesn't line up with what the Bible says, you don't have to lie down and accept it as truth. Realize this, friends, if it is in your mind, it is still not guarantied to be truth. The devil's language is lies. If it doesn't line up with the Bible and all the promises that God has for you, then ask God to show you a verse to stand on. If you habitually struggle with thoughts that are not from God, then tell a friend. Get an accountability partner and don't face the struggle alone. I know it takes bravery, but God will put a trustworthy person in your life to go to battle with you. You never have to face this alone.
False Advertisement
Next on the grace crusher on the list is wrong teachings. My husband and I were reading a devotional together, and something that I read struck me. The author said that the point of being a Christian is pretty clear, to be Christ-like. And I have to say that even though I know that was meant with every good intention, that it is wrong. The point of saying yes to Jesus is not to become someone who doesn't slip up. Yes, part of a byproduct of having a relationship with Jesus Christ is that we are changed from the inside out, but that is not the point. Jesus did not endure the pain and suffering of God's wrath for our actions. Hear me, friends, God did that so that He could have a deep, meaningful, real, loving, intimate relationship with YOU. His mission has always been for people, from creations to the cross and into the future. God has been working behind the scenes so that the veil made by our sin and sin nature could be torn and we could once again be with Him. Doesn't that sound way better than accepting Jesus into our lives so that we could nitpick every little thing that we do? Of course it does! That's because it IS better! That is true "good news", is it not?
We have had all of our sins wiped away just by accepting Jesus into our lives! This should attract every person from every corner of the planet, but often times, it just doesn't. That's because frequently, the beautiful message of love and intense grace and forgiveness is squashed by the heavy burden of human effort. We see all that the Bible says, and sometimes, our view is warped. We miss the message altogether sometimes. We watch the whole movie and come out talking about how much we loved the previews. The main point is completely missed, and the best part lost. And any message outside of grace or love will loose the power to turn people to God and will instead turn our eyes to ourselves and arch our backs for the burden of taking our salvation upon ourselves.
This last week has been a personal struggle for me. The reason that there is a space of time between my last post and this one is because I had many things pop up and consume my time. I was emotionally bombarded with despair, and I felt unable to function. And to be honest, after I was out of the mess that this past week had turned out to be, I was very apprehensive about coming back and finishing this blog post. When I thought about coming back to write this, I started to rationalize with myself and talk myself out of posting this because of how big of a struggle I had just gone through.
How would I, someone who had just gone through a tough few days, write something with authority after messing up so many times? But despite the choices that I made that were less than perfect, despite the time I wasted being consumed with thoughts about myself and my situation that were completely untrue, I can still come back and write this particular blog. The grace of God covers me, and it never stopped, even in my darkest hour. So after some thinking and listening to God's still sweet voice, I knew that I had to continue on with this post that I had started on Monday.
I realized that when I was considering not finishing this post, because of my own shortcomings, I was walking in exactly what the devil had hoped for. But the gospel is one of freedom, and victory, and the liberty to be with God. Any attempt to bring that to light will be met with as much force that that any opposing forces can muster, but in the end, God has won. He has victory and freedom for your life. So I can write about this, and I can be imperfect at the same time, because it is by GRACE I am saved! It is Jesus righteousness that I claim, and not my own. And NOTHING that I have or will do can take away from that.
This is completely opposite of what was accomplished by Jesus. He came and tore the veil so that we could come boldly to the throne! He didn't come so that we would be motivated to try harder and do better, he came so that upon believing in Him, we would have his righteous as our own. He came so that we would be able to have relationship with God. Let me say that again, Jesus died so that we could be reconciled with God. So we are always in right standing with God! I am never in a spot, nor will I ever be, that will keep me from coming to Him. All of my past, present, and future sins are conquered once and for all. The end. Sayonara.
But I know first hand that hearing about grace, and living in the freedom that grace brings are two different things. Often I, and I think many of us, put down the gospel of grace and pick up one of works. We forgo our relationship with God because we have been tricked into striving and struggling instead of resting and accepting what God has for us. So why do we have such a tough time keeping this straight? Why does it seem that we just can't keep our stories straight when it comes to how we are saved? Well I believe it is due to two main things. I like to call them grace crushers.
Thoughts that are not from God
I put thoughts first on my list because I think that the mind is where most if not all of the major battles in our life are won or lost. What you dwell on has the power to either bring you closer to everything God has for you or send you down a path that steals, kills, and destroys. The fact is, Satan doesn't want us to be with God. Plain and simple, Satan will give his best effort to keep you from having a real, deep relationship with God, and he will try to get you to meditate on and believe lies in order to do so. Now let me just say that we have more power by the name of Jesus than Satan could ever hope to fart out. He should not be something we live in fear of addressing. But it is in our best interest to be aware of what we are thinking about day to day. The smallest of thoughts can rapidly ballon into something that governs or every decision if not handled in its infancy.
Proverbs 4:23 says, "More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it." Protect your mind. You don't have to let every little thing in there. You can have standards even for what you think. Practice being aware of what you are thinking. Don't take what is zooming around as neurons in your cerebral cortex lightly. If something comes into your mind that doesn't line up with what the Bible says, you don't have to lie down and accept it as truth. Realize this, friends, if it is in your mind, it is still not guarantied to be truth. The devil's language is lies. If it doesn't line up with the Bible and all the promises that God has for you, then ask God to show you a verse to stand on. If you habitually struggle with thoughts that are not from God, then tell a friend. Get an accountability partner and don't face the struggle alone. I know it takes bravery, but God will put a trustworthy person in your life to go to battle with you. You never have to face this alone.
False Advertisement
Next on the grace crusher on the list is wrong teachings. My husband and I were reading a devotional together, and something that I read struck me. The author said that the point of being a Christian is pretty clear, to be Christ-like. And I have to say that even though I know that was meant with every good intention, that it is wrong. The point of saying yes to Jesus is not to become someone who doesn't slip up. Yes, part of a byproduct of having a relationship with Jesus Christ is that we are changed from the inside out, but that is not the point. Jesus did not endure the pain and suffering of God's wrath for our actions. Hear me, friends, God did that so that He could have a deep, meaningful, real, loving, intimate relationship with YOU. His mission has always been for people, from creations to the cross and into the future. God has been working behind the scenes so that the veil made by our sin and sin nature could be torn and we could once again be with Him. Doesn't that sound way better than accepting Jesus into our lives so that we could nitpick every little thing that we do? Of course it does! That's because it IS better! That is true "good news", is it not?
We have had all of our sins wiped away just by accepting Jesus into our lives! This should attract every person from every corner of the planet, but often times, it just doesn't. That's because frequently, the beautiful message of love and intense grace and forgiveness is squashed by the heavy burden of human effort. We see all that the Bible says, and sometimes, our view is warped. We miss the message altogether sometimes. We watch the whole movie and come out talking about how much we loved the previews. The main point is completely missed, and the best part lost. And any message outside of grace or love will loose the power to turn people to God and will instead turn our eyes to ourselves and arch our backs for the burden of taking our salvation upon ourselves.
This last week has been a personal struggle for me. The reason that there is a space of time between my last post and this one is because I had many things pop up and consume my time. I was emotionally bombarded with despair, and I felt unable to function. And to be honest, after I was out of the mess that this past week had turned out to be, I was very apprehensive about coming back and finishing this blog post. When I thought about coming back to write this, I started to rationalize with myself and talk myself out of posting this because of how big of a struggle I had just gone through.
How would I, someone who had just gone through a tough few days, write something with authority after messing up so many times? But despite the choices that I made that were less than perfect, despite the time I wasted being consumed with thoughts about myself and my situation that were completely untrue, I can still come back and write this particular blog. The grace of God covers me, and it never stopped, even in my darkest hour. So after some thinking and listening to God's still sweet voice, I knew that I had to continue on with this post that I had started on Monday.
I realized that when I was considering not finishing this post, because of my own shortcomings, I was walking in exactly what the devil had hoped for. But the gospel is one of freedom, and victory, and the liberty to be with God. Any attempt to bring that to light will be met with as much force that that any opposing forces can muster, but in the end, God has won. He has victory and freedom for your life. So I can write about this, and I can be imperfect at the same time, because it is by GRACE I am saved! It is Jesus righteousness that I claim, and not my own. And NOTHING that I have or will do can take away from that.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Being Okay with Being Okay
So today, I'll start with a confession. I have a tendency to be hard on myself. If I make a mistake, I agonize over it and try to figure out ways that I can keep myself from doing it again in the name of perfection. When I draw, paint, or write something, I dissect it until I doubt it. Without a doubt, I am my own worst critic.
I have been this way practically sense I can remember. It has kept me from joining teams or clubs as a kid growing up. It has made waste copious amounts of time trying to make a project worthy of viewing. In short, because of my self criticism, I have said no to being myself. What's the point of even trying if you aren't going to be shining and amazing right off the bat, right?
Wrong. So wrong. But this was the thought that Satan had constantly recycling through my mind. I was afraid to try because I didn't quite know how to do it. I was afraid to ask for help for fear of people knowing that I wasn't up to speed yet! It was like my mind was a cul-de-sac where ideas would to be trapped in the comfortable neighborhood of not trying for fear of not measuring up. There is guaranteed safety, but nothing interesting ever develops either. But that wasn't God's plan for me, and one summer, my warped reality was straightened out a bit.
In the summer of the sixth or seventh grade, I went to Camp Eagle with my youth group. Camp Eagle was any middle schoolers dream. It had a blob, it had zip lines, there were hiking trails, and a cliff you could rappel down. It was a blast. One evening, as youth groups do, we had an activity that was seemingly pointless but had a lesson. What they did was blindfold us and lead us to what they informed us was a rope maze. If we were to hold onto the rope, strung between some trees, and keep walking with it, there was suppose to be the end of said maze to be found. What our little group didn't know was that this wasn't maze, and there was no end to the rope. It was just one rope that went in a loop. What they told us before we began, though, was that we could ask for help at any time.
So we all started walking around trying to find a nonexistent end, and eventually, people began to ask for help. Not me, of course; I could never put myself out there like that! I was determined to find the end of this maze! Slowly but surely, everyone else began to disappear. What I couldn't see, though, was that they were just sitting in front of me waiting for me to ask for help so that we could finish what was quickly becoming the most boring part of their summer. But I could hear that they weren't walking around the "maze" any more, so made the assumption that they all had found the end of the maze before me. After a few minutes, I was the only kid left trying to conquer this impossible maze. One of the camp counselors had to stop me because I was just not going to ask for help, and I was literally the last kid there. Not even by just a few seconds either, I was out there by myself walking around this endless rope for at least three minutes!
Have I mentioned how much I dislike activities that are designed to make you fail lately? It's probably rooted in this interaction right here. When I took my blindfold off to see that I had been walking in circles, I was mortified. Especially because all I had to do was ask for help! Such a simple solution that I forwent for no reason other than I was afraid to need help! Seeing our group sitting down waiting for me to come to my senses is a much more vivid memory than the blob, or the zip lining, or any other summertime entertainment that Camp Eagle had to offer. I learned that day, through mortification, that it is okay to need help. Asking for a hand is sometimes your best option. And it is okay to not be perfect.
Sometimes I am still sixth grade Candace. I think of something I might wasn't to do or try, and a small voice inside of me tries to tell me that I will not be perfect therefore I shouldn't try it at all. Well, the voice is right. I will not be perfect at it. But that's not the point of the gifts God gave us. He didn't give me a passion for creativity so that I would completely master painting. He put my talents in me so that I would bring Him glory.
And I don't think it tarnishes the name of Christ to not be the best either. He doesn't look down at us trying and say, "Man I wish you weren't so imperfect at that. It's really hard for my godly eyes to stand to see that. Ugh, please stop." No. He is eager to see us operating in the areas that we are gifted in. It brings Him much joy when he sees us doing what we were made to do!
And in the same token, sometimes, we will need a little help. There isn't a person alive that can say they didn't once need help. If they do, then I have one word for them. Infancy. Boom. But really, we were never made to operate outside of each other. And there is no need to be embarrassed to ask for a hand. To be humble enough to ask for help is a major strength, not a weakness, and that's something I learned the hard way. Don't be a sixth grade Candace. Don't miss out. Skip the monotony of holding yourself back from God's best for you. Dare to be simply okay, dare to need help. All you need to do is try.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Love is Risky
Earlier today, my dad wrote a post on Facebook about how we perceive the poor. Specifically those who panhandle. In his post, he made the point that we are all saved by grace. Despite the fact that we would like to think of ourselves as far more deserving than those who society looks upon with great disdain, we are in fact still just as in need of a savior as those holding signs on the side of the road. We can rationalize away about the bad choices we have made, but in the end, we are all nothing without God's grace. My dad wrote, "So when I look at the poor beggar, I’m looking over, not down."
And this got me thinking. What if everything that people use to rationalize not helping the poor is true. What if they really are lazy? What if they really are abusing drugs and alcohol? What if they actually are handed enough money to live comfortably enough for them and as a result, they never feel the need to change? Does this mean that God doesn't want us to help them?
I imagine God dressed in a suit sitting behind a desk up in heaven answering, "Oh, no, that one is especially lazy! He smells of alcohol, and *gasp* he hasn't been to church in years! Nope. Nope. Nopity nope. We here in heaven don't help people unless they're perfect, so pay them no mind". As you exit his very corporate office, the clacking of a Newton's cradle seems to say "don't let the door hit you on your unholy posterior on the way out".
While that was meant to be a joke, sometimes I feel like that is how we view helping the poor. As if when we are urged to give to the poor and needy in the Bible, that there was some sort of stipulations clause in there with it. Matthew 5:42 says "Give to the one who you are sure will use the thing you have given for their actual needs". It says "Do not refuse the one that would borrow from you and for sure give back the item they borrowed." No! It says explicitly to give to the one who begs from you. Straight up. It's in there! It's not even in parable form! So when did we start rationalizing who we do and don't give to? When did we decide that the risk of being taken advantage of or possibly looking foolish was a big enough reason to skip out on something that Jesus said for us to do?
See, when Jesus wrote this, I believe that he knew that the beggars were not always the best stewards. He knew that some were caught up in some really messy situations that might result in the miss use of someone else's generosity. But isn't that what he came to earth and did? He gave the most valuable sacrifice to the greatest beggars that ever were... US. When he went up to die on that cross knowing for a fact that even though he was going to conquer every single sin that ever was, and even though he was going to drink full the cup of God's pure wrath for everyone that ever was or will be, he knew that there would be people that would completely reject him. Some people would flat out say no. Some people might have lived the most rebellious lives imaginable, but they still would be able to get to go to heaven! But Jesus loved, and he loved to the point of complete vulnerability.
Following Christ was never meant to be something that would shelter us.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 says, Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
That is crazy to wrap your mind around! If I am honest with myself, I find it hard to biblically love the closest people around me, much less the other people that I encounter. But Jesus said that the greatest commandment was to love God and then to love others. Truthfully, that leaves a lot of room for being taken advantage of. That means that there will probably be instances where someone who you have extended kindness to repays you with sarcasm. Some people will be fake and talk behind your back. Some people will take your love as weakness and put you down, but that is the way living for Christ is. It's risky, it's uncomfortable, and sometimes it doesn't even make sense. But we don't love because it causes people to treat us better. We love, because as Christians, that is our calling. This is our greatest commandment. To be fishers of men!
But this is no play time vocation either. This isn't kiddie stuff. I mean, I would really like to be able to say you should give because the person who you give to will use what you gave in the best way possible. It would be nice to be able to write a blog post about how popular you will be if you love, and- oh by the way- you will also change the world! But that is just not how it works. That's not the reality we face. The real action of love, if you look at how the Bible defined it, is really hard. If you choose to give to the one who begs from you, what they say is true. If you give to the man holding that cardboard poster, you might be taken advantage of. But that's the kind of love that God wants us to have. That is the calling we have on our lives. We are changed by God's love, and we leave what we have known, or thought we knew. Then we are truly free to live; having realized that it is always worth it to love despite the risk.
And this got me thinking. What if everything that people use to rationalize not helping the poor is true. What if they really are lazy? What if they really are abusing drugs and alcohol? What if they actually are handed enough money to live comfortably enough for them and as a result, they never feel the need to change? Does this mean that God doesn't want us to help them?
I imagine God dressed in a suit sitting behind a desk up in heaven answering, "Oh, no, that one is especially lazy! He smells of alcohol, and *gasp* he hasn't been to church in years! Nope. Nope. Nopity nope. We here in heaven don't help people unless they're perfect, so pay them no mind". As you exit his very corporate office, the clacking of a Newton's cradle seems to say "don't let the door hit you on your unholy posterior on the way out".
While that was meant to be a joke, sometimes I feel like that is how we view helping the poor. As if when we are urged to give to the poor and needy in the Bible, that there was some sort of stipulations clause in there with it. Matthew 5:42 says "Give to the one who you are sure will use the thing you have given for their actual needs". It says "Do not refuse the one that would borrow from you and for sure give back the item they borrowed." No! It says explicitly to give to the one who begs from you. Straight up. It's in there! It's not even in parable form! So when did we start rationalizing who we do and don't give to? When did we decide that the risk of being taken advantage of or possibly looking foolish was a big enough reason to skip out on something that Jesus said for us to do?
See, when Jesus wrote this, I believe that he knew that the beggars were not always the best stewards. He knew that some were caught up in some really messy situations that might result in the miss use of someone else's generosity. But isn't that what he came to earth and did? He gave the most valuable sacrifice to the greatest beggars that ever were... US. When he went up to die on that cross knowing for a fact that even though he was going to conquer every single sin that ever was, and even though he was going to drink full the cup of God's pure wrath for everyone that ever was or will be, he knew that there would be people that would completely reject him. Some people would flat out say no. Some people might have lived the most rebellious lives imaginable, but they still would be able to get to go to heaven! But Jesus loved, and he loved to the point of complete vulnerability.
Following Christ was never meant to be something that would shelter us.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 says, Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
That is crazy to wrap your mind around! If I am honest with myself, I find it hard to biblically love the closest people around me, much less the other people that I encounter. But Jesus said that the greatest commandment was to love God and then to love others. Truthfully, that leaves a lot of room for being taken advantage of. That means that there will probably be instances where someone who you have extended kindness to repays you with sarcasm. Some people will be fake and talk behind your back. Some people will take your love as weakness and put you down, but that is the way living for Christ is. It's risky, it's uncomfortable, and sometimes it doesn't even make sense. But we don't love because it causes people to treat us better. We love, because as Christians, that is our calling. This is our greatest commandment. To be fishers of men!
But this is no play time vocation either. This isn't kiddie stuff. I mean, I would really like to be able to say you should give because the person who you give to will use what you gave in the best way possible. It would be nice to be able to write a blog post about how popular you will be if you love, and- oh by the way- you will also change the world! But that is just not how it works. That's not the reality we face. The real action of love, if you look at how the Bible defined it, is really hard. If you choose to give to the one who begs from you, what they say is true. If you give to the man holding that cardboard poster, you might be taken advantage of. But that's the kind of love that God wants us to have. That is the calling we have on our lives. We are changed by God's love, and we leave what we have known, or thought we knew. Then we are truly free to live; having realized that it is always worth it to love despite the risk.
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Intentionally Adventurous
So I have been meaning to do this for a while. If you don't know me, I'm Candace, nice to meet you! But what you should really know if you don't already know is that I am creative. I thrive the most when I can take time by myself to be creative. If it can fall into the category of "creative" I have probably considered, if not attempted to do it. And blogging is no exception. My mind is constantly running and mulling over new ideas, and for about a year I have toyed with the idea of throwing caution fear of what people will think of me to the wind and actually firing one of these bad boys up.
So today is the day! Blog post numero uno, coming atcha! And I have to warn you, you will get no apologies for how rough this first post, or any after this one, may happen to be. Not because I am a particularly rude or pretentious person, but I have been letting self doubt win for far too long. Every time I even consider being creative, my fears pipe up, "but thats a chance to make mistakes! If you make a mistake and people see it, then obviously that will be the worst thing to ever happen! Do you want the worst thing to ever happen to happen?!"
Yah, that is pretty much the dialogue I hear upon making decisions on a daily basis. And yes, I am ignoring it right now. Mainly because when I don't do what I am made to do, I feel like one of the toys on the Island of Misfit Toys. You know, from the movie Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer? When I don't follow through with my ideas because of my fear, I am just a water gun that shoots jelly. I'm existing, but I'm not doing what I am made to do.
But I am done with that. And if you're wondering what you'll come across in this blog, I am not sure that I can officially promise anything in particular. All that I can say is that this will be a shameless journaling of the inner machinations of my mind. Note that word shameless, because it will be the heartbeat of everything I write on here. I have spent far too long letting the mere possibility of failure keep me from living, and this is the first step to unabashedly pursuing things that I think would be great fun and bring glory to God. Yay baby steps!
And there's another thing on the note of being shameless! I love God, and if you stick around for more of my ramblings, you will see more and more of that. God is my everything, and if I wrote nothing about Him or my relationship with Him, then I would not be being the real authentic Candace that I hope to portray through these scrawls (haha, Scrawltastic. Haha, get it? Yah, I tried.)
All in all, my goal is to give my readers and authentic look into my everyday including who I am and who I strive to be. I will try to never omit something because I am afraid of what others think. I might make you laugh. I probably won't ever make you cry; I hate to do so myself. But most of all I hope to light up your passion to live for something bigger than yourself.
That is the thought that has been rolling around in my head for the last few months. I would have to say that personally, I don't live a life that is as adventurous as I would wish. I make decisions that are primarily based on comfort, and that's just too sub par for me to continue on with anymore. So, I have come to the conclusion that the best way to really live, at least for beginners for myself, has to be by doing it one step (ranging from semi-courageous to ambitious) step at a time. Hurrah for semi-courage!
And thus begins the journey! Just so that we can get to know each other a little more, I am 21. I am married, and I work full time in an office job that I am one hundred percent thankful to have. I aspire to go back to college and get some sort of degree. In what, I still haven't pinpointed, but it will most certainly involve creativity in some way or another whether that turns out to be marketing, or photography, or even literature of some sort. I also hope to be able to travel all over the world (more of that adventurous living stuff) and who knows what else God has planned for me! All I know is that my journey will be intentionally more adventurous from now on.
So today is the day! Blog post numero uno, coming atcha! And I have to warn you, you will get no apologies for how rough this first post, or any after this one, may happen to be. Not because I am a particularly rude or pretentious person, but I have been letting self doubt win for far too long. Every time I even consider being creative, my fears pipe up, "but thats a chance to make mistakes! If you make a mistake and people see it, then obviously that will be the worst thing to ever happen! Do you want the worst thing to ever happen to happen?!"
Yah, that is pretty much the dialogue I hear upon making decisions on a daily basis. And yes, I am ignoring it right now. Mainly because when I don't do what I am made to do, I feel like one of the toys on the Island of Misfit Toys. You know, from the movie Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer? When I don't follow through with my ideas because of my fear, I am just a water gun that shoots jelly. I'm existing, but I'm not doing what I am made to do.
But I am done with that. And if you're wondering what you'll come across in this blog, I am not sure that I can officially promise anything in particular. All that I can say is that this will be a shameless journaling of the inner machinations of my mind. Note that word shameless, because it will be the heartbeat of everything I write on here. I have spent far too long letting the mere possibility of failure keep me from living, and this is the first step to unabashedly pursuing things that I think would be great fun and bring glory to God. Yay baby steps!
And there's another thing on the note of being shameless! I love God, and if you stick around for more of my ramblings, you will see more and more of that. God is my everything, and if I wrote nothing about Him or my relationship with Him, then I would not be being the real authentic Candace that I hope to portray through these scrawls (haha, Scrawltastic. Haha, get it? Yah, I tried.)
All in all, my goal is to give my readers and authentic look into my everyday including who I am and who I strive to be. I will try to never omit something because I am afraid of what others think. I might make you laugh. I probably won't ever make you cry; I hate to do so myself. But most of all I hope to light up your passion to live for something bigger than yourself.
That is the thought that has been rolling around in my head for the last few months. I would have to say that personally, I don't live a life that is as adventurous as I would wish. I make decisions that are primarily based on comfort, and that's just too sub par for me to continue on with anymore. So, I have come to the conclusion that the best way to really live, at least for beginners for myself, has to be by doing it one step (ranging from semi-courageous to ambitious) step at a time. Hurrah for semi-courage!
And thus begins the journey! Just so that we can get to know each other a little more, I am 21. I am married, and I work full time in an office job that I am one hundred percent thankful to have. I aspire to go back to college and get some sort of degree. In what, I still haven't pinpointed, but it will most certainly involve creativity in some way or another whether that turns out to be marketing, or photography, or even literature of some sort. I also hope to be able to travel all over the world (more of that adventurous living stuff) and who knows what else God has planned for me! All I know is that my journey will be intentionally more adventurous from now on.
