Today’s Christmas was with my mother’s side of the family. As we all piled in to my parents’ heavilly Christmas clad home, I looked around to see many parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents; all wonderful people that had large hand in raising me and pouring into my life. Year after year I have eaten great food, and received thoughtful Christmas presents. So it occurred to me, while spoonful deep in stupendous soup, that I will never be able to repay any of the selflessness that I have been privileged enough to accept throughout the years. The numerous times that the ridiculous requests of little Candace were met without complaint or objection will never be paid back. This might cause me to approach family holidays with dread. I could very well be consumed with the fear that the love from my family might run out if I don't personally refill the tank, but I don't have to look at it that way. This is because love does not keep a tally. Love is simply not self seeking.
Just out of speculation, I would say that Paul left, "love is not self seeking" for later on in the verse because it encompasses so much of what has already been said. Rude, prideful, envious behavior all revolve around one thing; looking out for ourselves. And conversely, the way that we have seen love played out in the Bible so often is in a manner that forgets the needs and desire of the person loving. Much of the time, stories in the Bible seem unjust, leaving the person at fault with forgiveness rather than retribution.
Jonah was sent to deliver a message the Ninevties, a ruthless and Godless people. He reluctantly accepted, not expecting his message to be received. But after seeing the Ninevites change their ways rather than be consumed by God, Jonah was found himself to be upset instead of joyful. The Ninevites were notorious for being a barbaric- even impaling their enemies. They were not a popular people to say the least. Jonah, knowing all of this, had kind of betted against them. He had even chosen a nice perch upon which to watch them burn! Talk about pesimistic.
But when the Nineties repented of their ways and humbly mourned their completely sinful ways of life, Jonah was dumbfounded. He had assumed that God had him on a last ditch effort type of mission, not a mission of salvation. As if God was saying, "okay, Jonah, I would really like to blow these guys into last Passover, but just to cover my bases I'm going to send you to make sure that they at least have knowledge of me. Ya know- since I plan to wipe 'em out and all." So when they weren't consumed with fire and brimstone, Jonah threw a fit saying, "It is better for me to die than live".
Now I could sit here and criticize Jonah. He ends up being given a plant for shade from God and mourning it's eventual death more than the potential annihilation of an entire city! That's pretty harsh there, Jonah. But really, I relate to him a lot more than I wish to admit. I often sit and stew about other's that I know are not living for God. I easily get annoyed at their shortcomings, and just as God asked Jonah when he fumed about the salvation of the Ninevites, I can feel God also asking me, "Do you do so well to be angry?" As if he is saying, "Are you enjoying this? Does it feel good to care for yourself so much more than others that the second they do something wrong you are simmering on a perch hoping for them to die?"
Eventually, the question that God presented to Jonah to softly let him know that he was out of line (Do you do well to be so angry?) gets answered with a surprising amount of sass! After Jonah's self proclaimed need for death, God asks him once more, "Do you do well to be angry for the plant?" And he retorts with, "Yes I do well to be angry, angry enough to die." Woa now, Jonah, you're talking with God here. Maybe you should be a little more reverent or something? You seem a little more headed for destruction than the Ninevites ever were!
Okay, so Jonah's comment back to God was pretty brash, but I think it's not unlike something that I have probably thought before. I might not have directly prayed it to God, but the thought was still there as well as the weight and meaning of this declaration of it's not worth it if I have to live with such injustice. I mean, lets face it, there have been people in each of our lives that have wronged us in really un acceptable ways. That makes it is incredibly hard to love selflessly. In order to even pull off this God-sized feat, the key is dying to ourselves.
Galatians 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." So to fully live in such a way that you are not self-seeking, we have to no longer submit to our desires for ourselves. Rather than considering ourselves first, we must assume a posture that directs our priority to God. As explained in the verse, this is all done by faith. The do it power that we need to overcome our urge to live for ourselves can never be conjured up by our own hearts. We must live by faith. We must trust in God.
It is when we submit to God, saying "I don't quite understand how, but please help me live for you. Help me to live selflessly", that he is able tor flow through us and teach us the gracious and kind ways of love. No, it doesn't come easily. In fact, about the only time that we see each other living selflessly is when we are dealing with our children and family (and even then, sometimes we don't). But day by day of asking God to help us be obedient to opportunities of selfless love is all that is needed. God can use the small portion that we have to bring, and multiply our faith into material that changes lives just as he did with Jesus. So just as Jesus first submitted to the will of God by the somewhat humiliating birth in a manger, we also can place our faith before the God of Christmas wonders, and watch as selfless love pours out.
