Fearing Idols

I look forward to going to work on Mondays. It's not that I am particularly amped up about being a banker, even though it is a huge blessing. No, the reason that I get excited about the first day of my work week is because I know that I get to read three whole days of devotions from my desk calendar. My desk calendar is just like any other normal calendar, except for the fact that it has Bible verses and devotionals about fear to go along with every day. On Monday, I get to read the leftovers from the weekend, and this causes me to look forward to arguably the most hated day of the week. Silly, I know, but it's the little things, right?

One particular morning, while reading the devotional for the day, I came across a verse that had never  before seemed particularly profound to me. The devos in my calendar can sometimes feel a little weak because of the stretches the author must make to have 365 individual devos all about fear with completely different verses for each one. The point is there, but sometimes you can see how deep they had to dig to find it.

This could have been one of those days. The verse came from 2 Kings 17:35, and it was right in the middle of the story line. It reads, "35 The Lord made a covenant with them and commanded them, “You shall not fear other gods or bow yourselves to them or serve them or sacrifice to them" ". Okay, yes, I see the connection. Rather out of context, but it does pertain to fear. But then I started to maul it over a little bit, and the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to the golden nugget that this verse really was. "You shall not fear other god's".

We have all heard it before. Do not place any other gods before God. Big "G", little "g". We see the difference. But if you're anything like myself, you have mostly brushed this off the few times that you have heard it. I mean, it's not like people are going out and really buying statues to pray and sacrifice to. Even in the least respected circles, this would still seem fruitless, foolish, and dumb. No one buys idols as they were described in the Bible. It's just not a thing anymore.

This particular time of reading over this verse, I thought of something that I had not considered before. God was very specific to mention not fearing other gods.  When presented with a verse commanding us to not place any gods before the Lord, we might be able to make it as far as to ask ourselves if, instead of idols, there are any people or material things that we are elevating above God in priority. But I had never noticed fearing other gods emphasized like it was in this devotional. After reading the verse, I felt like God was proposing the question to my heart, "what are you fearing more than me?"

It feels strange to think that the Israelites ever feared other gods, because there only is one true God: God. It is a no-brainer for the modern day believer in Christ. But could it be that we enter into the same sort of foolish fear that they did do long ago when we enter into fear of anything other than God? The Bible is chocked full of verses about not fearing. "Prefect love cast's out fear", 1 John 4:18. 2 Timothy 1:7, "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind". It is clear that God did not design us to live in fear, nor does he operate with fear. God desires us to live fearlessly. But I think that the topic of fear in the Bible is often the sort of thing that we read over and take for granted because of how fully immersed we are in the world.

From childhood, we are taught that fear is an uncontrollable emotion that we experience. We are taught simply to accept it as a way of operating as a functional adult. We are to have a "healthy fear" of certain things. In fact, some people will even say that it is wise to have some fear in you. They reason that there are certain things that every person should fear. But that is not at all the same message that God has for us in the Bible.

No, God doesn't desire us to act foolishly. God does no intend for us to do everything that we happen to not afraid of. In the verse in 1 Timothy, it is emphasized that Timothy has a spirit of power and sound mind. We are well equipped by what God has already given us to not act foolishly. We do not need fear to guide us.

So lets gravitate back towards God's question, "What are you fearing more than me?" In the context of the verse in 2 Kings 17:35, the Israelites were fearing what they thought were other gods. They were placing them as high or higher than God in their minds. They considered these false gods to hold some sort of power over them, and as a result, they had fear in their hearts for them.

As I said earlier, passages about idols and idol worship have always struck me as an outdated message and hard to relate to. But the longer I thought about what I was fearing more than God, the more clear it became to me that there are plenty of idols in my life.

Sometimes I fear people more than God. That shows very clearly when I worry over what others think about me. I might have a totally normal conversation with someone, but because there was a response that I said too late or said too many times, I replay the interaction over and over again in my mind. Fear of others can also manifest in embarrassment. The reason that we get embarrassed much of the time is because we are dreading what others are thinking of us in the current situation. But that is not necessary with God. We can simply pick ourselves up and move on knowing who we are in Christ.

Sometimes I might fear not getting things done more than God. My mind will be completely consumed with the task or tasks that I have yet to get done. I will worry for a long time about what might happen if I never get those things done. The situations that I think about might not even be real, and this fear may cause me to mike bad decisions or even lash out to the people around me. I might even feel completely paralyzed because of my fear of not accomplishing tasks, causing me to not get anything at all done.

The future is another thing that will take center stage in my mind as a powerful unconquerable "god". The thought of health or money growing sour as I age is sometimes a trap that my mind enters into willfully. I will worry about the future even though it has not even happened yet! But for every single thing that might consume our thoughts, Jesus has an answer. Matthew 6:31-33 reads, "Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

When we choose to really and truly think of other things as more powerful than God, it is as if we are the Israelites worshiping a powerless statue god. No, we might not consciously consider these things to be powerful overlords. But when we dread and fret over things or people instead of standing in awe over who God is and what he will do, we are subconsciously placing something in a more powerful position than God. The thing we fear is getting our attention, and we will make decision based upon that fear. Simply put, we will be unable to live for God, because we will be living for something else.

The fear of the Lord comes on us when we realize more and more who God is and how awesome and beautiful he is. The fear of the Lord is not at all like the fear we experience in this world and of this world. The fear we experience in response to the various other "gods" in our lives is paralyzing and leads to completely irrational thoughts. Sometimes it is difficult to wrap our minds around what the Bible is saying when it mentions the "fear of the Lord" because we have scary movies and other such things that have taught us a spirit of fear that God never intended for us to operate in.

The fear of the Lord is a humble stance of awe and worship, and it is full of peace and love. Walking in the fear of other things is devoid of peace and allows those idols to have power over us. We cannot think that other gods (what people think, the future, money) and the Lord are the most powerful thing at the same time. We either serve one or the other.

The way that we decide to choose the fear of the Lord over the fear of other gods is simply to get in the word and seek God for guidance. The fear that we have in our lives may seem immovable or even logical. But faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God. And the word is true. The more we immerse ourselves in the Bible and verses about God's heavenly view on fear, the more we will be able to operate in the spirit of power, love and sound mind that God has given us.

God desires for us to be able to walk fully in all that he has for us. Let us throw down our idols, and stand in worship and awe of God and only God.

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What do you view as idols? Are there things in your life that you have always feared? Feel free to comment, rant or rave! Start a conversation, like and even share. 

But always remember, you are loved by God.

Family Photo Time

 Caution! Cuteness overload ahead! A few weeks ago, Teagan and I went to Ralls, Tx to visit our family. I decided to try and get pictures of the family holding the newest addition to the family, my niece, Kendall Eve. Here are some of the pictures that I took:

Uncle Teagan and Kyndall

Aunt Lanie and Kyndall

Grammy and Kyndall

There really isn't much that needs to be added when you have pictures of such a sweet and innocent face. I will add though, that I still need to get a picture of Kyndall with her momma, Katie! I have no idea how that did not happen, but it will be fixed in time.

Sometimes in life, we get to stand back and witness moments that are best when we do nothing but observe. The sweetest times that we enjoy with family require little more than for us to just be still and be grateful.

As Teagan and I enter our twenties as a couple with expectation and excitement, it can be easy to get caught up in planning for school, career, friends, and even future places to live. Those are great things to plan for, but sometimes, being on the precipice of life can tend to make you want to start moving fast and furious. In the end, though, there are few key things that matter to which you should hold fast: God and your family.

Let us not lead lives that slowly abandon either our relationship with God the father or our earthly family. God matters. People matter. Money, career, education, location are all icing. A diet of icing cannot fully fulfill our spirit man. It will in the end leave us sapped of energy and full of regret. Pursue God, love God, and love others. Whether we are deciding on a college to go to or where to live, if we hold fast and prioritize God, we will be alright.

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Katie, your daughter is precious and loved. We all can't wait to see her grow, and we can't believe that we get to be part of her beautiful life!

Two Year Anniversary

My husband and I have been married for two years since March ninth. Two tiny whole years. At least two years feels tiny when you think about the goal which is forever, but then again, it is not nothing.

Along with being married only two years, my husband and I got married quite young! I was 19 and Teagan was 21. I didn't even really feel like an adult yet, at the time. Honestly I had planned to get married at 25 or so, but we see that that didn't happen, and here we are. So it is with hesitation that I start any sort of reflective writing about marriage. But I feel like if you think marriage is great after skimping financially, dealing with being quite young, and any other myriad of hardships that those factors combined might bring, then you might have something worthwhile to say. So it is with a dollop of humility and a pinch of initiative that I shall attempt to write down a few thoughts that I have accumulated about marriage.

First I want to start out with a disclaimer: Marriage is great. It's great. Do not let Chris Rock or any other person tell you differently. When God brings you to your spouse, it is amazing. It's not amazing like eating oreos, but rather amazing like a magnificent paining. Don't get me wrong, I love oreos. The oreos were great, but they took little time to consume and yielded very little. A massive masterpiece of a painting took time, not only to paint but years of someone's life was spent learning how to paint. One might scoff at the work put not the painting saying, "why are you laboring so long? I have a box of oreos right here! A second and you'll have heaven in your mouth! It is not worth it." But once the work is put in, you can see that it is truly something to behold.

But even then, marriage is better than that because you are with that person every day, and it is vibrant and a lifelong adventure with that person in whatever life may hold. No, marriage is nothing like the type of love and relationships that much of the secular and religious world desires. It may appear to be foolishness to many. But to those of us who enter in to the fullness of what God has for those that would but say yes, there is an adventure more than worth waiting, sacrificing, and submitting for. Marriage is great.

The second thing that I want to say is that marriage, relationships, love, forgiveness, kindness, and grace is that they are all pretty much God's thing. They were all meant to operate under the pretenses that we shall let God direct them, not ourselves. When one attempts to replicate what we all clearly, blatantly, obviously desire (a monogamous relationship mutual love, respect, and forgiveness) without God in the equation, it is not enough. The living evidence of that may fall anywhere on the spectrum in peoples lives from the extreme to the livable. But folks, if you think "the one" will really be the one person that will make everything right and complete in your life, you're headed for a world of heart break.

When God was making each and every one of us, his ultimate goal was not to pair us up. God created us to be with him. Jesus died so that we could be with God forever. It has always been about you meeting God and spending life with him, not finding a man or woman to place in that spot. So when we do get to enter in to the major blessing of marriage, and marriage is a major blessing, it is best when it is built on a mutual understanding that, "hubby is not number one. Wifey is not number one either- God is number one, and he has brought us together. Let's be together, and in that togetherness always honor God."

When that mindset-that climate of the heart is found, the marriage flourishes because it is not squashed under the expectation of becoming our new God. Marriage cannot be what fuels your joy, peace, and need for love. Much of the byproduct of a great marriage is good, but the true source in our life must be God. If he is not, there is without a doubt someone or something in our lives that will be feeling the pressure to take his place. That person or thing will eventually crumble under the pressure and fall away or warp into something completely unrecognizable.

The third thing that I really want to impress upon you is that unaddressed anger or unforgiveness, which can often walk hand in hand, will burrow deep into a marriage and begin to rot it from the inside out. Any relationship can be ruined by deep rooted anger and unforgiveness. And sometimes, in an attempt to reach a sort of fake but livable state of peace, we can tend to brush feelings under the rug. Whether or not it is in order to avoid conflict or just our of laziness, we don't dress it, and try not to let it be real. But eventually it comes up and out. And the fallout of anger and unforgiveness that has been ignored is much worse, much more damaging than if we had taken the time and energy to fix the problem at it's root.

When you are in a relationship with someone that constantly has an undertone of sarcasm or annoyance going with everything that they say, it takes a toll. Living with an angry person, not explosive but just angry, is unpleasant to say the least. I had to work through some unaddressed anger at the beginning of Teagan and I's relationship, and it was hard. I had been wronged for sure by several broken friendships, but that still did not give me the right to bring our relationship down. Something had to budge, and God gently led me through what was a fairly untimely and dark period in my life.

Don't walk around with a chip on your shoulder. If you find yourself constantly badmouthing someone or complaining unceasingly, maybe it's time to take a step back. Is your life going well? Do you enjoy your days anymore? If there is a constant turmoil in your life, ask God about it. He gives us a spirit of love, power, and a sound mind. Nowhere in there does it say that God bolsters our existence with a spirit of aggression. Constantly being annoyed will only bring an unrest that will either tear a marriage down or make it something you dread. Face the anger. Pray and ask God for guidance. If he can help me, no one is too far gone. I'll leave it at that, but take my word for it.

The last thing that I think does not get said enough is that to really give your marriage an extra essential boost, just say no to badmouthing or complaining about your spouse to others. There are always extreme situations in which one might need to get help, but in most cases, the women at work don't need to be looking down on your husband because he accidentally washed a red shirt with the white clothing. Honestly I think that degrading your spouses image behind their back or while with them is probably one of the fastest ways to get an absolutely mediocre marriage.

When we get married, we become part of a team. Teagan and I really like that analogy, because it helps you realize that it goes against any partnership to start going against the other player. If a football team started blocking it's own players, the only possible outcome would be a loss! When you agree to be with someone for the rest of their life, feeling like you are always safe with that person- like they always have your back is incredibly important.

The number one cheerleader of your spouse should be the person they come home to every day. If we have a problem with our spouse, the person who should hear about it is them. That's it. Terri at from work is not interested in the wellbeing of your relationship. So if it is so bad that you need to talk to someone, couples counseling would be your best bet. It will foster a fair environment in which real progress can be made.

Again, there are different situations, so don't hold out on getting help if your straits are dire. But I think for the most part, it is not a matter of us putting up with bad treatment. The fact of the matter is, if we want a loving and vibrant relationship with our spouse, what those around us hear should build up. Otherwise, we will crush any respect right our of our marriage. That's not what God had in mind, and it doesn't have to be what we walk in any longer. As always, seek God, and even get an accountability partner. Talk with someone older than yourself that has been there. God will be faithful to change your heart and renew your mind until you see a completely transformed marriage.

That's all that I have to say for today! Like I said, I am just on the beginning of the beginning of marriage. I claim no seniority, but I will claim that I know that marriage is amazing and a blessing from God. It's not a doily covered, bed at 6pm, type of blessing either. Marriage is meant to be amazing, vibrant, and fun. God is the author of every good and perfect thing, so isn't he also the author of fun? God knew what he was doing when he created this union.

Teagan and I first met at a coffee shop through a mutual friend, and for me, it was not love at first sight. I took one look at him and told my friend that I would never date him! God laughed a resounding, "haha!" and not too long after that we were engaged and scrambling to throw a wedding together! God has a sense of humor. God loves fun. And ultimately, even when I was questioning that something so precious and incredible could really be from God, God knew best.

These tiny four points are just a small glimpse into marriage, but I felt that they touched enough peoples lives to deserve being addressed. Two years ago I said yes to my best friend. I couldn't legally have wine at my wedding, and the lighting was horrible because at the last minute, the game was called on account of rain- to a basement. But, and I guess this could be a bonus number five for any of you who have not yet said, "I do": the actual day matters very little. The glamor and the hype and the online presence of your wedding is fun, but it is not what makes the marriage great. And I would take 50 more years of this adventure of a bond over the most glamorous repeat of my wedding.

Teagan, I love you! You're the best! Here's to many many more years!

Resolution Update

It is yet another new month! Is 2015 flying by for anyone else? I feel like I was just impressed about the fact that we were into February, and now March is here! That means that I have been aiming myself at my new years goals for a solid two months now, and boy has it been rocky.

January was pretty much a bust, to be honest. I made a million goals, and by the end of the first 31 days of the year, I was broken and tired of myself. January was a flop. February was much better! The only goal that I really didn't get down was my read three chapters a day. I am still debating on whether I should cut that down, keep it entirely or cut it all the way out. But reading is important, so I think I will keep it in.

Here are my concrete, measurable goals:

1. Two blog post's a week. I think that should be more than manageable. I also want to write at least six short stories this year. That's a half of a story per month. There is no set length, so I can go as long or short as I want. 

3. Three chapters a day. And it must be one book at a time. Not counting the Bible, of course.

5. Expect three pictures per month. Yep- three. That feels scary, but if it matters to me, I can take at least three pictures that I like enough to post each month. I owe it to myself to not chicken out of this one, so there it is. Three a month. Done.

8. I really like to do stretches on my yoga mat in the morning, and I use to make at lest fifteen minutes of time for it every day. I'm going to go back to that. A few minutes of yoga every day. That's final. Any person is capable of that. No chickening out, Candace! No chickening out! Also in the realm of taking care of my temple, I am committing to fifteen minutes of cardio at least five days a week. This is not hard to find time for. It's just the execution that I have problems with. Again. No chickening out, Candace.

9. I am committing to at least fifteen minutes of solid prayer time. It's as simple as that.

(I know it's small, but it's a recap. You can see the original post here in it's normal size.)

Really quickly, 1, 5, 8, and 9 went smoothly. I have gotten a pretty good rhythm for those things, and I think that they were by far the most important things on my list. Three...*sigh* oh, three. I still did not figure out what my best way of fitting in three chapters of a book per day in my routine is. This may sound incredibly pathetic to those of you who are avid bookworms out there, but I am still not giving up. Things that are important take time, and this is still a habit that I don't want to give up on! So number three, March is your month!

And that's the end of my recap. Rather than going deep into my life and something that I have repeated at least two times now, I wanted to make this post something that would be less about myself and more about everyone. I did still want to keep to my promise to keep my failures and success open to the public, but I am sure it feels weird to read about me me me at the beginning of every month (it feels odd to me). So let's do something different on month three, shall we?

After devoting two solid months to whipping myself into this shape that I had imagined, it occurs to me that goals are not only good because you challenge yourself to work on and pursue becoming a more rounded person, but you also learn a lot about what you thought was important and what is important. Personally, I learned that it is important to me to be on this blog writing, but it it also important to me to keep up with my body and it's physical needs for fitness. I thought that I would be okay concentrating on everything else and supplementing my lack of exercising with stretching every morning, but as it turns out, I am not. But that's okay, because the habits I have built are not for nothing, and there is no reason that I cannot start up some sort of workout routine!

Sometimes we fixate on the person that we want to be or the things that we potentially want to do so much that when we actually do get around to making the changes, it's clear that reality differs completely from what was written on paper. When we find ourselves in the midst of what we thought would be the best thing for us and realize that it is still not the best case scenario, we don't have to give up and say that it was all for nothing. Sometimes that is how the devil will try to spin it in order to make us feel like we have somehow lost. But we are more than conquerors, and we don't need to look at the need to take another direction as a sign that the time spent was wasted.

Change can be difficult and it can make you question the direction that you had been going all along, but lean into God in times of confusion. In the end, no matter how we feel after achieving or obtaining a goal that we have set for ourselves, what really matters is being with God. God will always be the most important thing. He is the true source of our strength, joy, and peace, not the goals that we make. It may take trial and error to figure out how to prioritize the different goals in life, but as long as we are rooted in God, the journey will be worth it.

Maybe it's time to dust off the list of resolutions and see what was worth pursuing and what should be dropped or added! I know I'll be doing some of that this month. Have you had any goals made back in January that you realize needed tweaking? Let me know!