Skinny for Lack of Eating

Today I shall introduce you to Chief, Teagan and I's furry baby.

Chief is a great dane, and the breed is normally skinnier than most, but recently, we noticed that Chief had passed the line between healthy skinny and gone to the quarter-a-day-for-this-dying-dog skinny. We would feed Chief every day without fail, but he would simply leave his bowl quite full after nibbling just a little bit on what we gave him. I was beginning to worry that one of the local dog fanatics would see and think something of it!

Finally, after this going on for a few weeks with no change even after trying to change up his food, we decided it was time to visit the vet. On his day off, Teagan did all of the hard work of taking an incredibly large, but incredibly timid dog to the vet. But the blood work that the ran came back completely fine. Our horse sized dog was as healthy as one, he was just simply not taking in the food that his body needed.

We learned that part of this was due to the quality of food that we were feeding him. Currently, we were trying out Kibbles and Bits. We were fully aware of how low of a quality that Kibbles is, but Teagan and I were just trying something new for the sake of seeing if Chief would eat more. Another reason that Chief had not been eating as much as he should have was because we had the food available to him all day. He had no anticipation of his mealtime. As a result of this lack of schedule, Chief was eating far less than he should have been.

Armed with this new knowledge, a tub of yogurt, and some packets of powdered medicine to help our dane pack on the pounds, we optimistically started to become more strict about when Chief was allowed to eat. His new mealtime was 8 o'clock. As soon as Teagan was home from a long shift of selling Toyotas, Chief was served a healthy concoction of the powder, yogurt, and some rather expensive dog food. And the schedule worked almost immediately. I was astonished at how quickly I began to notice Chief putting on a nice layer of weight. With the implementation of a schedule and better nutrition, we now had a new dog. He looked incredibly healthy, and no longer made the song "In the Arms of an Angel" come to my mind.

Don't worry, he got none of the wine.

Now dog's are smart, but only to an extent. Our little guy didn't even know that he was starving himself or how to eat enough, until we made sure to set a stricter schedule for him. So for the most part, I would say that we as humans have been given a little more sense and personal awareness. We might even laugh a little bit at poor old Chief. Not out of spite, but because he was completely healthy! He just honestly didn't know how to properly take care of his nutrition! What he needed was right in front of him, but he chose not to partake in what was essentially keeping him alive, because he was not conditioned to. And to be honest, it's so silly, it's laughable! Clean bill of health, but we need to teach our dog to eat. Who would have thought?

But aren't we that way sometimes? Probably not with actual food. I would be willing to bet that none of you have real problems remembering when and how much to feed yourselves. But how do we look spiritually? Is our spirit man ribby and boney? If we could see our spirit man, would we try and donate a quarter a day because of the guilt his malnourished appearance fills us with? This comparison has been used time and time again, but until we went through the process of having a ridiculously skinny dog and finding out that there was nothing wrong with him, it had never occurred to me how ridiculous it is. Ridiculous, I mean, that we have the resources-the food right in front of us, but we still decide to not eat.

We go to church, but think about the pot roast and the Sunday game the whole time. We have our bible in our nightstand, but haven't touched it in weeks. The solution to our spiritual dryness-the dehydration and malnutrition is right in front of us. But we do not partake. We are as senseless as Chief was.

I have been down this road before. More than once actually, because starvation is a slow process. You don't skip your dinner one day and discover that you look like an impoverished orphan the next. It's meal after meal; skipped prayer time after skipped prayer time that eventually adds up. And then one day, you wake up so disconnected from God that something inside of you starts screaming loud enough for you to hear. Somethings not okay! I am dying in here! Every part of life is too much for me to bear! You were once fine. The things you are facing use to be simple hills, and now they are looming mountains with no way of escape. That's when we need to stop in our tracks, about-face, and go back to God.

In Middle School, I played the clarinet and saxophone in band. Our school in San Antonio had a fantastic band director, and one day, while instructing our 13-15 year old class on why it was so incredibly important to practice daily, he said something that I have never forgotten. "When you don't practice one day, you know. Two days, your director knows. And by a week, your audience knows." Practicing musically, athleticly, and even spiritually is gradual in it's effectiveness. It takes a while to get to a certain level, and it takes a lesser while (but a while still) to slide back down from where you once fought to be.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a spot if great inner turmoil, spiritual strife, or spiritual dryness. We need not look to the heavens, crying "Why me? This always happens to me!" We are not dogs that we should forget how to feed ourselves. We must stay connected to the source, and dive back into the word. Don't let shame keep you from coming back to God. There is now no condemnation in Christ. None. Right now this minute, there is none. Don't take the devils whispers of deception as truth. Run back to God. Continue to feast upon the word. Eventually we can regain stability and return back to health.

When I was a very young girl, around six or so, my parents payed for me to take piano lessons. At the time, we lived in Ohio while all of our family lived in Texas. Every Christmas break, we would make the long drive across the country to see our family. When not on vacation, I was pretty good about taking time each day to practice. But we opted not to haul our keyboard with us whenever we trekked all the way to grandmother's house, so I did not practice during that period of time. When we came back from vacation, my teacher was less than happy that I had not practiced. Perhaps I did a poor job of explaining the exactly why I had not practiced during our break, but the interaction with my piano teacher was not a great one. I remember crying, as I did for just about everything, and not continuing my lessons anymore.

Now looking back, I feel bad for the poor woman. I was pretty prone to tears, and I probably could have gone back, continued my lesson's, and been just fine. But because of that day, my piano teacher would not be teaching me anymore. Despite any residual feelings of disappointment in the way things unfolded, though, I can know that I will never have to face a similar situation with God.

When we decide to reconnect with him after a long hiatus, God is not looking down on us with a lecture ready. God is the father of the prodigal son who ran when he saw his son from a distance. We can expect the exact same thing from God when we realize that our spiritual starvation needs to come to an end. God is full of mercy and love. All we need is to come back to him.

So there is no need to sit in our squalor and refuse to take in what is good for us. Poor old Chief didn't know any better, but we know that in order to experience peace in our lives, we must stay rooted and connected to God. When we are feeding our spirit man on a regular basis, we will be in good health and fully able to weather the various winters that are included in this life. So it's not about doing, it's about holding fast to our Father. We must be honest with ourselves. If we find that we have been neglecting our spirit, all we need to do is come back to our Father. He is faithful to heal, and soon we will wonder why we ever left.

Why I Failed All of My Resolutions

Last week I decided to start ten resolutions for 2015. I felt fairly confident that I would be able to do all of these things, especially since they were things that I had tried to do before, but it's one week later, and I have not done one bit of any of it. Okay, that's not true. To be honest, I did get a fair amount of morning yoga in there, but for the most part, I started the year off with one big flop of a week.

Now I'm not here to make excuses. God knows I have a back for that. I'm here to follow up, and most importantly to be honest. I think too much of the time, our "Christian" examples and stories of other's lives only include the most beautiful, Christian aspects of their lives, and none of the real, true grit type of things that we all, if we were to be honest with ourselves, experience on a day to day basis. My goal with this blog is to give an honest and real look into a Christ follower who is a real person. Not a shinned up, glorified example of who I really am. So here is how I sabotaged my first real week of resolutions.

First of all, just to throw out the obvious, I did not keep my two blog post a week resolution. We are all here, a week later, with only one post for last week. Sorry about that. I also did a horrible job at reading. I read two chapters for the whole week. Yep. Two. But it's not about what I did or didn't do. I mean it sort of is, but it really isn't.

I got a nasty cold that set in about last Thursday. It came with none of the real alarming symptoms that get people to feel sorry for you, just the stupid little ones that bother you all day long and make you exhausted, but don't really merit taking off from work to go to the doctor. You know, constant nose blowing, eye watering, and the need to sneeze but it never comes? Yah. Horrendous while you're in it, but not the type of thing that convinces those around you that you really are under the weather. So after finding myself at the end of Thursday feeling exhausted and icky, I decided that I didn't care if I wasn't barfing in the bathroom, I was taking Friday off.

I took Friday off, and continued on through the whole weekend not feeling better at all. Still just as sick, if not worse, but now I was angry. I was angry because the week prior to all of this, in addition to making a nice list of resolutions that were now falling by there wayside, Teagan and I had decided to start reading and following a book called Don't Limit God. The theme of the book is to allow God to do all that he has always wanted to do in your life by not limiting him with our disbelief. So here I was, barley into the book with my husband, and I was sick as a dog. This was not suppose to be how things were going. This was not suppose to happen to someone who was believing God for everything in her life! And I was convinced that I was believing God for everything. I thought I was. But to be honest, I had really been trusting in myself.

I knew that God was my source, and that I needed to not keep him in the box of my unbelief. But I took that and became so fixated on what I needed to do on my end for everything to fall into place, that soon, I was putting more faith in myself than God. I had all of my ducks in a row. I was going to spend fifteen minutes here, ten there, and gradually become this future version of myself that I had grown to love. But bit by bit, little increments of time turned into my entire day, and I was not making time for God anymore. I had gone from having God as my root and foundation and what my entire life revolved around, to making God a little pill that I take to keep crazy Candace at bay. I had begun to fall in love with works.

After a weekend of being sick, I decided that I couldn't take another day off. I needed to go back to work. So I did, all the time being convinced that I personally needed to take on this cold and command and grow my faith as much as I could. That, my friends, was the most exhausting Monday that I had gone through in a long time. By four o'clock, I was beginning to wonder if anyone had ever had a cold so bad that they wrecked because they fell asleep while driving. You might say that I was having a little bit of an inward pity party. Pushing that thought out of my mind and clocking out, I breathed a sigh of relief that my day was finally done, and drove home wreck-free.

Sundays are when Teagan and I have been reading Don't Limit God together. So the day before my Monday of exhaustion, the chapter we had last read was all about spending time being still with God. We had agreed to take time individually every day to do this. After the tiring Monday I had just had, I was definitely ready for a slow of pace, so I grabbed my prayer list and sat down in my closet.

I started reading through my list, but something wasn't right. I stopped, and it was as if God was saying to me, "finally, you stopped!" I put my various lists down and leaned back. I really was exhausted, and I had an amaizing headache to top it all of. I tried to quiet my mind as best as I could, and actually practice being still.

Being frustrated that I was still sick, and that I was not yet healed, I asked God, "What do I need to do?" By this time, I was thoroughly frustrated, and ultimately convinced that I was personally responsible for my lack of healing because I wasn't doing enough. But what I head God tell me was not that I needed to pray for five hours or that I needed to watch some sort of healing DVD. He told me that I needed a nap.

Really, God? The God of the universe is telling me I need a nap?

"Yes. And what are all of your worries? Tell them to me. Trust me, and go take a nap. Rest."

I was incredibly relieved at that prescription. There was not a bone in my body that was against that plan of action. On my way under my covers, I realized that I had been trying to survive off of putting faith into myself. I had let go of putting faith in God and decided that if I just did this, or if I just got in a certain mindset, then things would fall into place. And God, being the gracious and never forceful God that he is, let me go down this ridiculous thinking. He let me experience the stupidity of thinking that my actions are what matters. But he was always there waiting for me to listen and trust in what he was going to do.

Today, I called in again. I took the day to rest, and trust that the key to all of this is God, not me. And trusting in God does not mean that you use all of your might and willpower to summon God's action by creating some sort of disbelief-free zone. Trust does not also mean "to struggle" in Greek. Trusting God is simple. You just let go of the situation, and take a nap. Okay, not literally. You can't take a nap at work and get away with it by saying that God told you to trust him (but how great would that be?). The point is, when you "let go and let God", you need to really let go. It's not a case of you letting go of one side of the wheel and letting God take the other. Just tell God. Tell him once what you need, and trust him, and listen to him. I had done the former, but neither of the two latter.

Today, I felt better than I had in a while. I had begun to forget what it was to be able to breathe through my nose! I know that I was just trusting in myself the whole time rather than God, and that was the only thing holding me back. So do I think that I should scrap all of my goals for the sake of trusting in God? No. God is still for the goals that I set. Health, and reading are still great areas to try and improve on. But If we set goals for ourselves and set our eyes on all that we do or don't do, then we are going to experience failure and spiritual dryness.

In this month of goal setting and goal failing, we must remember to keep our eyes set on God. Yes we are trying to build better habits, but even in the things that in the physical look like they are completely up to us, we must learn to trust God. God is and always will be our true source. It is surely not easy to let go of things that the world (and even religiously confused people) tell us that we need to do fix ourselves. But God is ready, and he is waiting for us to trust him, and take a nap.

10 Very Real Goals for my New Year

It is six days in to the new year, and if I were prone to wagers, I would bet that you fall into one out of two categories. Either you are plugging along, seizing the passing of one year into the next as an opportunity for general self improvement, or you are sitting by, doing the same old things while thinking, "that was just another day. There's no reason to treat it differently than all the other 365." Well if you are the second one, then I commend you for your sharp grip on reality! But I also have to apologize, because I love the New Year, and I am extremely guilty of being the former of the two kinds of people.

In my mind, New Years is one of the best times of year! Yes, the gyms get flooded with people that will be gone in one to two months. Sure a huge percentage of resolutions that are made that soon fall by the wayside unkept. But as a born optimist, I can't help but to see past the bloated commercialized version of New Years, and picture a new year that is strong, young and full of potential!

As soon as Christmas ends, my mind floods with excitement about all of the new goals that I can make! Keep the house cleaner, take better care of my body, vow to stop hanging onto clothing that isn't my style just for the sake of having a full closet, spend my time more wisely, love more, pray more-the list goes on. And I know they tell you not to set too many goals at once, but it almost feels as if the longer my list gets, the more excited I become. It's a cycle. A vicious one, or an uplifting one, I can't be sure. But none the less, as a twenty one year old woman in the year twenty-fifteen, I am going to dive headfirst into this year with expectation galore. So here are some of my very real, and not at all too big goals:

1. Write More

I don't claim any impressive ability. But I do believe that God gave me a passion for writing. The great thing about that is the more I exercise my writing muscles, the better I should get! I can't tell you how many ideas I have written down only to not pursue them at all. Oh, they're still bouncing around in there, but either time or fear has been getting in the way. So from this point on, I am going to make a better effort to honor the ideas that God puts into my brain. The first few might come out stinking worse than my cat's kitty litter, but no one picks up a bike and then signs up for Tour de France. Which brings me to my second resolution.

2. Dare to Suck

When we start something new, we never hope to be really bad at it. In fact, I think we all kind of invasion ourselves in glowing lights, with hopes of not only mastering the new thing we are taking on, but we imagine ourselves as being better than all the rest! As if this new thing that we are going to try is going to be the best thing that we have ever done. Our lives will literally come together and people will pay large sums of money for us to do whatever it is that we are hoping to learn to do. But it never quite works out that way, does it? At least not at first. 

When we first start on any new thing, we are going to probably suck at it. Our New Years visions for our Januarys and Februarys seldom shape up as we had hoped. We cheers to the new year, soon it's Valentines day, and we still aren't pro's at what we started. We will have many dumb questions, and we will have to try many times before even getting to a point of satisfaction. But if you look at the task ahead of you, and failure is all you're able to see, then you might never start. Not starting because you know you'll be out of the gate with blunder after blunder is a monumental shame. Take a moment, and if you have not made any goals at all this year (or for a while, to be honest) just make this one with me. Have the courage to get out there and not be that great for a while. I promise you'll thank me later.

3. Read More

Reading is amazing. And if I want to accomplish my fist goal, I will need to implement goal number three. I love to read, actually. A lot. If I could somehow split myself mitosis-style into three or four people, one of myselves would spend her whole life just reading. That's it, just consuming book after book. Devouring story after story forever. But as someone with a full-time job, and no ability of mitosis, I have to make a real effort to have time for anything. 

So this year, I want to commit to reading more. No more excuses. And I don't even have to go buy books! I have multiple books that I have been meaning to read! I get given great books, and neglect them. Then I see another, and for some reason buy that too! Why? Because-BUY ALL THE BOOKS! So this year I am committing. Not to some crazy 50 books a year challenge (that's almost a book a week, folks!), but something manageable, like two to three chapters of something-anything!-a day. I can do that. Anyone can do that. But when you're starting from ground zero, doable is good. Which reminds me-

4. Let Yourself Off the Hook

Personally, this goal has been needing to be said for a long time. I am an odd combination of being ambitious and a procrastinator. I will get completely excited about something, and then get afraid of failure and procrastinate the project right into the dust. THEN (nope, this train wreck isn't done yet) I feel bad about putting off my project for so long, and feel as if even when I do want to continue, that I can't because of my horrible blunder of neglecting the task. That, my friends is a vicious cycle that feeds itself and feeds itself. And sometimes (yep-still going), in light of the trouble that I often have completing my goals, I feel the need to overdo it and never mess up. This leads to all around self loathing, and even bigger and harder falls when I do mess up. 

So really, I need to lay off a little bit and allow room for failure. If I were to try and read 50 books in 2015, I would leave myself only two weeks off for the whole year! That is an unhealthy margin for mistake, at least for me. I need to set more realistic goals. But even then, when I DO fall behind-and I can tell you right now, I will-I need to realize a few things. 1. It's okay. This is not the worst thing that could happen. 2. You are not a lesser you because you have not met all of your expectations. That does not define you. 3. There is absolutely no good reason to let that keep you from continuing on. You might not finish where you thought you would. But the ability to look back, and say you've finished will be so much sweeter than you think it will be. Keep going. Just keep going.

5. Take Lots of Pictures

My family (parent's, husband's mom and stepdad, and my husband) bought me a camera for Christmas. I am pretty much forever indebted to them because of their amazing generosity. I have wanted to pursue photography for a while now. I grew up looking through the articles in the National Geographic, and I developed a taste for the art of capturing moments in time in that way. And now that I have the means to start doing what I have always wanted to do, I have no excuses. I need to be taking pictures, and I need to be taking a lot of them.

6. Just Do You, Boo

One of my favorite YouTubers to watch says that. Her channel name is Shameless Maya. In the video that she put out talking about why she started her channel on youtube, she tells about how she had always wanted to. Starting a youtube channel is a great way to get yourself out there. But she had been afraid to put herself out there and do what she really wanted to do. Finally, she just decided to ignore her fear of what people around her might think and just do exactly what she had always wanted to do. That's where the name for her channel came from. She is unabashed about what she loves and the risks she takes. 

This goes hand in hand with my second goal, but it needs to be said. If we would all just let go of our fear of what other people will think when we really pursue our dreams, then they might actually come true. Ignore anyone around you that you're afraid will look down on you because you're trying something new. Gather up your courage, because there is no better time then now. If you wait until you're in a spot that is devoid of "haters" then you will never begin. Now is as good a time as any. In the words of Shameless Maya, "Just do you, Boo".

7. Finish Projects

I have many projects that I have started, that have fallen to the wayside. Why? I really don't have any good reasons. Maybe I was afraid of messing up, or I didn't have all of the right materials, but there is no reason why I should have a half finished painting sitting sadly in the guest room. Pick it back up, Candace. Address whatever disappointment you may have in yourself and then get over it. We are going to finish things this year. Not pick up new things and make a new pile of halfway done things.

8. Take Care of My Body

I only get one, so can someone tell me again why my diet still consists of microwavable taquitos?! Taking care of your body is not a beginning of the year fad. It is very Biblical! I'm not saying that I am going to swear off of everything that is bad for you. And I'm sorry, but the vegetarian/vegan life is not for me. But I do want to start implementing all of the healthy recipes on my Pinterest that I never seem to cook. Honestly, if I was half of the woman my Pinterest makes it seem like I am, I would not be making this list!

9. Pray More

There is not a major rhyme or reason to the order of this list. I really just wrote it in the order that they came to my mind. I mention that, because this could possibly be the most important thing that I do this year. I pray a woefully sad amount of time each day. Yes, I pray a lot when I am driving, but it's mostly for the general safety of Lubbock. There are many things that God has given me a bigger image in my mind for, and I need to start praying. I have the ability to come boldly to the throne. I have no idea why I have not, but starting 2015, I am going to actually be specific and spend real time going to bat in prayer.

10. Stop Limiting God

For Christmas, my mother gave all of us kids in the immediate family a book by Andrew Womack titled "Don't Limit God". My husband and I have decided to go through it together. I'll save an in-depth update for another blog post, but we have already seen God breaking through because of our renewed faith in anything and everything that God has for us. God is amazing and massive. He has great things for every one of us! This year, Teagan and I have decided to be obedient to stop believing for the status quo (and even bare minimum sometimes), and in turn stop limiting all that God desires for our lives. Do yourself a favor; get into the Word and build up your faith. And if you would like some guidance while you go along, definitely see what God has to say through Andrew Womack's book. Just a friendly recommendation that could change your life!

I realize that all of my goals were fairly general. So here is a quantifiable, checkable list of exactly what I am shooting for. I will check in at the beginning of every month even if that is the only blog that I do that month to honestly say how well or badly I am doing. So here it is. What I would like my two thousand and fifteen to really look like.

1. Two blog post's a week. I think that should be more than manageable. I also want to write at least six short stories this year. That's a half of a story per month. There is no set length, so I can go as long or short as I want. 

3. Three chapters a day. And it must be one book at a time. Not counting the Bible, of course.

5. Expect three pictures per month. Yep- three. That feels scary, but if it matters to me, I can take at least three pictures that I like enough to post each month. I owe it to myself to not chicken out of this one, so there it is. Three a month. Done.

8. I really like to do stretches on my yoga mat in the morning, and I use to make at lest fifteen minutes of time for it every day. I'm going to go back to that. A few minutes of yoga every day. That's final. Any person is capable of that. No chickening out, Candace! No chickening out! Also in the realm of taking care of my temple, I am committing to fifteen minutes of cardio at least five days a week. This is not hard to find time for. It's just the execution that I have problems with. Again. No chickening out, Candace.

9. I am committing to at least fifteen minutes of solid prayer time. It's as simple as that.

The numbers that I left out are the goals that I made that are not easily quantifiable. I will still touch base each month on all ten goals, but there isn't really a great way to be more specific about 2, 4, 6, 7, and 10. But they are goals that are worth mentioning none the less.

All of this-every part of it, is possible through God. I am the head and not the tail, and so are you. If there are things in your life that you find yourself wishing were different, maybe this could be a great opportunity for you. Set aside some time by yourself, and be honest. What is not a reality in your life that you desire, or feel that God wants for you? Make a list, or record yourself speaking your goals out loud. But whatever you do, give yourself the best chance to see your life take on a new shape. 

As we rocket into the  new year, let us take the opportunity to build our faith in God. Take the step of faith, and I promise you, God will be with you the entire way. Dream bigger than you have ever imagined. Think thoughts that the your acceptance of the average has not let you think before. God can out-dream the most optimistic of dreamers. It's about time we started approaching life as if that were truth, and not fairy tale.

The Twelve Days of Lovemas| Day 12 Never Fails

Happy New Year, everyone! This is it. The twelfth day of Lovemas. And looking back, the journey was not easy. While going through 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, there were many times that I personally discovered exactly how little of the time that I show the people around me Biblical love. It does not always come natural, and it frequently takes a large amount of self control. Just to recap, here is the entire passage of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."

On the twelfth day of Lovemas, we receive the last and possibly most wonderful bit of information about love. It never fails. True, holy, God-love cannot fail. Through God's love, we are victorious. That is not to say that during our walk through life, there will not be failures. Yes, it would probably be a great idea to keep on studying for all of your tests. But wherever we are, whatever circumstances we are in, we will have God and his glorious love to abide and walk in.

And just in case the message of Biblical love has not been clear, let me just say it plainly; love is not weak. One might look at 1 Corinthians and put it in the same category as childhood dreams, but to love is not an inferior stance to take. Love, in fact, never fails. It is strong, it conquers the iciest, hardest of hearts. Love takes strength, and much much more than does hate, self-centeredness, or rude behavior. So lets all agree to do our best to let go of the religious stance that thinks we were meant to walk in stoic judgement of the rest of the world. That is weakness. That is sad, and is a massive waste our redeemed lives. Jesus didn't set us free in order to litter the face of the earth with cruel-hearted boycotters.

Galations 5:13-15 says, "13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[b] 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other."

When I was not yet even ten, my brother and I would ride the bus to school together. On that bus happened to be another brother and sister duo. I don't quite recall what exactly they did, but they must have acted out in some way, because I considered them to be troublesome. So much so, that in my little girl mind, it was obvious that they needed Jesus. In my general annoyance of their rambunctious behavior, I decided one day that I needed to take my Precious Moment's Bible on that bus and minister/force them to accept Jesus. I really was not thinking about them, I was just ready for them to stop being so annoying. 

So one day, on the bus ride, I sat with them and rather abruptly explained Jesus to them and led them in a small prayer. I distinctly remember being stern, quick, and not at all compassionate. Maybe God used my rather selfish intentions for good. We may never know. But looking back, my tenacity was not for the salvation of their souls, but rather to cut down on what I considered to be a fixable problem. 

We can't lie to ourselves anymore. Love is key. If we are walking outside of love, we are like a noisy gong; pointless and annoying. And the only fruit we bear is dry, tough, and useless. The more we try and force our "goodness" onto other people for our own personal gain, the more people are going to be turned away from their only hope! 1 John 4:8 puts it plainly, "8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

The world needs Jesus. We all know that. Talk to any person, Christian or not, and they know things are not alright. But love is how the Holy Spirit operates. We squelch the power of the Holy Spirit in us when we choose to be offended and deal with others harshly. When we go in trying to satisfy our own need to let someone know that their wrong, or eliminate beliefs that we don't agree with, we may succeed in our own selfish goals, but what God want's will fall by the wayside.

 Love is our only hope. Love is their only hope. And the most amazing thing about love is that it ties all of the laws together and fulfills them. The heartbeat of the Bible, the heartbeat of God was never to condemn and destroy. He wishes for us all to accept Jesus and be reconciled to him. There are no exceptions; Jesus died for us all. So let us lean into God and let him revolutionize our hearts with love. This year, lets kick it off and be daring enough to love. For God is love, and glory to God, because love never fails.