Suffering

Suffering means to undergo or feel pain or distress, according to dictionary.com. We all undergo certain sufferings. Pain is part of being human. A byproduct of being alive is that we go through circumstances that are nothing but difficult. Romans 5:3-5 states that we should rejoice in our suffering because it leads to endurance, endurance to character, and character leading ultimately to hope. That is a very quick run through. There is a lot of good meat in those verses, and it seems like a great four step program to get to hope! Just four quick steps up the stairs and you're in hope land! But I don't think that is what those verses were saying.

Lately I have been more on the suffering step of the path. I have been dealing with insecurities about work, and doubt about myself and the direction in which my life is going. I have had to cope with the very physical pain of my wisdom teeth coming in, and the mental pain of paying for them. There have been many difficult questions that I have been wrestling with. I am at the beginning of the staircase to hope. But it has not been playing out as cleanly in my life as Romans 5:3-5.

Some days, I would really like to just stay in bed and not exert any effort, because I don't feel like I could produce anything worthwhile. I will look at projects that are unfinished and feel a unified sense of failure. For a few days before I was able to go in to get my mouth looked at, the pain that I was dealing with because of my wisdom teeth radiated so completely through my entire head that I felt unable to be of any use at work. I could either take some days off and possibly be unable to pay all of my bills, or I could go to work and force myself to act like they should be paying me for whatever amount of work I could squeak out.

Pain is hard, and suffering is not simple. It is dirty, messy work, and often there is a major path between suffering and being able to rejoice that is missed in our simplicity of the journey to hope. We will boast that suffering leads to hope and that we suffer with Christ, and that is true! But we can't forget to appropriately be with someone in their sufferings and walk through it with them rather than forgetting the step completely.

Solomon stated it clearly in Ecclesiastes that there is a time for everything. When we go through sufferings, there is time to go through that. Even Jesus wept when Lazarus died. Jesus had the Holy Spirit; he already knew that suffering ultimately leads to hope. But he chose to be in the situation, and he wept. H wasn't miraculously impervious to sadness because of his massive faith, he suffered with Mary and Martha. And I don't think it was insincere suffering either. He didn't put on a show just to humor his friends and various onlookers, he was human, and he wept.

Romans 5 is not saying to quickly move on when faced with pain. The step from pain to endurance does not include the glossing over of issues. And it is not shameful to appear weak. Our faith is not less than because we are in pain, and I think we sometimes get caught up in some sort of thinking that  we should be ashamed of going through something. Sometimes, it is as if we see the lineup of suffering, endurance, character, and hope and we want to rush through the suffering part so that we don't appear like we are "less Christian" than others. But we as Christians are allowed to be sad. We are not doomed to stay there because we are more than conquerers through Christ. But in the begining, we sinned, so part of the journey really does involve some tough days.

But we do have hope, even in our suffering, because every good and perfect thing comes from God. He can always use whatever circumstances that we are going through to bring us closer to him. So when we face these tough times, we can expect good. There is a benefit to being reminded that you need God. It also helps us grow as a person to lean on those around us. And on the flip side of that, it helps those those that are there for us because they are allowed to really become a blessing.

So what do we do? How do we go through the first step that was lined out in Romans 5:3-5? I think there are some thinks that can help us survive what we go thorough in life. We can suffer, and we can get through whatever it is we can face.

The first thing that I would recommend to do is to stay connected to God. I know that sometimes when life gets messy, I have a tendency to feel like I shouldn't be in God's presence or that he doesn't want to be involved with my mess, but that's so far from the truth! God longs to pick us up when we need him. If the only thing the entire day that you can motivate yourself to do is spend time with God, then you are still doing really well! The tools that we use to get through the messy parts of life are found in the word of God. God is our source, and his words bring life. Don't self destruct by disconnecting from the vine. You are never less welcome because of things that you have done, or rings that others have done to you. We must abide in him, and we can always approach the throne boldly.

Secondly, tell someone about what you are going through. Don't try to go it alone. Jesus didn't run in shame when he wept about Lazarus. He was there with Mary and Martha going through it with them. I assure you, there is someone around you that wants to share in your suffering. You don't have to do it alone. And if you are in a situation in which you don't really know people around you very closely, turn to a pastor or acquaintance for a simple prayer. You don't necessarily have to hash it all out right there, but you would be surprised how God will use those in your life when you are in need.

Third on the list would be don't feel like you have to be your own hero. You can be broken sometimes. Just let go any need to be self sustained, because that is not how God designed us. We are made to connect with him and need him, and we are also designed for community. The beauty of community is that you never have to face battles alone. I have never understood it when the heroes of movies have perfectly good people on their team, but they play it all macho and say "no this is my fight". It is completely illogical! Of corse it makes for a better story, because if the battle was easy, then it would make for a very short movie. But this is real life. You don't have to be like that, it is not needed. Lean in to those around you when you are suffering. Ask for help. Take days off. Rest if you need to do so. It is allowed, and it does not make you less of a Christian or less of a person.

Lastly, give yourself time. Getting through something hard takes time. Through the time, we endure and build character. Honestly, I think Romans 5 is less of a staircase and more of a pyramid. We may still be going through whatever it is that is ailing us all while building our character because of our endurance. And we may be able to hope because of the character that God has brought out of us while still in the hard situation. God is with us the entire way.

There is no need to try to brush off what is happening. Suffering reaches every one of our lives. If we try to rush through and pretend like nothing ever goes wrong in our lives, we will miss a great chance to grow. Acknowledging that and allowing for time gives us the chance to properly heal and grow. And we are also overcomes. There is reason to hope because Jesus has overcome it all already, eternally, at the cross. So allow God to use those in your life to bless you, and know that you are not ever alone.

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Happy Monday!