The Twelve Days of Lovemas| Day 12 Never Fails

Happy New Year, everyone! This is it. The twelfth day of Lovemas. And looking back, the journey was not easy. While going through 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, there were many times that I personally discovered exactly how little of the time that I show the people around me Biblical love. It does not always come natural, and it frequently takes a large amount of self control. Just to recap, here is the entire passage of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."

On the twelfth day of Lovemas, we receive the last and possibly most wonderful bit of information about love. It never fails. True, holy, God-love cannot fail. Through God's love, we are victorious. That is not to say that during our walk through life, there will not be failures. Yes, it would probably be a great idea to keep on studying for all of your tests. But wherever we are, whatever circumstances we are in, we will have God and his glorious love to abide and walk in.

And just in case the message of Biblical love has not been clear, let me just say it plainly; love is not weak. One might look at 1 Corinthians and put it in the same category as childhood dreams, but to love is not an inferior stance to take. Love, in fact, never fails. It is strong, it conquers the iciest, hardest of hearts. Love takes strength, and much much more than does hate, self-centeredness, or rude behavior. So lets all agree to do our best to let go of the religious stance that thinks we were meant to walk in stoic judgement of the rest of the world. That is weakness. That is sad, and is a massive waste our redeemed lives. Jesus didn't set us free in order to litter the face of the earth with cruel-hearted boycotters.

Galations 5:13-15 says, "13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[b] 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other."

When I was not yet even ten, my brother and I would ride the bus to school together. On that bus happened to be another brother and sister duo. I don't quite recall what exactly they did, but they must have acted out in some way, because I considered them to be troublesome. So much so, that in my little girl mind, it was obvious that they needed Jesus. In my general annoyance of their rambunctious behavior, I decided one day that I needed to take my Precious Moment's Bible on that bus and minister/force them to accept Jesus. I really was not thinking about them, I was just ready for them to stop being so annoying. 

So one day, on the bus ride, I sat with them and rather abruptly explained Jesus to them and led them in a small prayer. I distinctly remember being stern, quick, and not at all compassionate. Maybe God used my rather selfish intentions for good. We may never know. But looking back, my tenacity was not for the salvation of their souls, but rather to cut down on what I considered to be a fixable problem. 

We can't lie to ourselves anymore. Love is key. If we are walking outside of love, we are like a noisy gong; pointless and annoying. And the only fruit we bear is dry, tough, and useless. The more we try and force our "goodness" onto other people for our own personal gain, the more people are going to be turned away from their only hope! 1 John 4:8 puts it plainly, "8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

The world needs Jesus. We all know that. Talk to any person, Christian or not, and they know things are not alright. But love is how the Holy Spirit operates. We squelch the power of the Holy Spirit in us when we choose to be offended and deal with others harshly. When we go in trying to satisfy our own need to let someone know that their wrong, or eliminate beliefs that we don't agree with, we may succeed in our own selfish goals, but what God want's will fall by the wayside.

 Love is our only hope. Love is their only hope. And the most amazing thing about love is that it ties all of the laws together and fulfills them. The heartbeat of the Bible, the heartbeat of God was never to condemn and destroy. He wishes for us all to accept Jesus and be reconciled to him. There are no exceptions; Jesus died for us all. So let us lean into God and let him revolutionize our hearts with love. This year, lets kick it off and be daring enough to love. For God is love, and glory to God, because love never fails.

The Twelve Days of Lovemas| Day 11 Hopes & Endures

This is the eleventh day of Lovemas, the next to the last day of the twelve. It has consequently fallen on the Eve of the New Year. Looking back, I personally have an abundance to be thankful for. I live a very blessed and set apart life. But as with any person on this planet, I also have my fair share of experiences that I would not choose to relive. But I can look back from the other side and say with confidence that I indeed was not swallowed up by the various troubles 2014 brought me. That survival could not have existed, though, without a few key things in my life: my family, my husband, GOD, and his love that fills me with strength.

We are to the tail end of verse seven, “love hopes all things, and endures all things”. You see, the thing about love is that it’s empowering. When we are energized by God’s perfecting love, we can survive. Because we are rooted in God, we have the ability to face largely hopeless situations with real, tangible hope. Those around us will witness our daily battles, yes. They will see us struggle to stay in line with God, to keep our households afloat, and anything else that comes across our paths. But they will also be able to see our tenacity to keep on hoping. And the hope that comes from God alone produces endurance.

Circumstances that would have driven the best man to drinking do not have to overcome those of us that cling to Christ, because his love strengthens us to the point of surpassing all worldly explanation. Women and men who do not know Christ will look on with awe as we face the worst situations a person can go through with divine hope and inexplicable endurance. The forced question will be, “how?!” And the answer of answers will be, “Because he loves me, and he died for me”.

So when facing the new year of 2015, yes, I will be making my fair share of yearly goals. And regardless of my past failures, I can continue to do this. I am filled with a supernatural hope, and my zeal to live for God will not be dampened by how badly I have messed up before (and I have woefully failed many times). But in addition to striving to achieve various goals that would shoot me closer to the person God designed me to be, I will not be asking for God to make 2015 a paradise free of hardships.

To have a year free of any struggles would be ideal. So I am not saying that I will be requesting an extra dose of trouble. But Romans 5:3 says that because of our sufferings, we rejoice. For the suffering produces endurance. So there is a refinement that happens when we exercise our spiritual muscles in the face of being in a tough position. This type of fine-tuning polishes us like gold, and we shine in a way that cannot be ignored.

During our 80-100 year span on Earth, because of the broken nature of this world, things that we don’t want to happen will. God’s plans for us are good. He does not strike us with sickness or hardships in order for himself to be glorified. But when we encounter adversity, we will be able to make it through by leaning into God for strength. As we dive deeper into relationship with our Father-Creator, we will discover even more hope and be able to endure all. What the adversaries meant for bad, God will redeem to bring glory. And just as they thought they had won after killing the Christmas baby, so shall we too shall rise from situations of despair. The love that was coursing through Jesus as he said yes to leaving his throne is the same love that can manifest in us when we submit to God. And it is a powerful love that hopes and endures all.

The Twelve Days of Lovemas| Day 10 Protects & Trusts

Why hello there again! I made quite merry this Christmas and decided to take some time off. Quite disappointingly, I think this December themed knock of holiday will run into the next year. But given the choice between cracking down on my writing and being able to visit with family, I would have to choose visiting with family. Usually what happens when Christmas rolls around, my family goes into game-mode. We bust out all of our favorite games (Dixit and Balderdash), and this year we even ventured to learn some new ones (Flux and Munchkin). There was much fun to be had and food to be eaten. Time with my family soon turns into cherished memories of loving encounters. So I hope you'll excuse me for choosing a few days of family time over time crunching for my blog.

I do however want to finally get back down to business. So our day of Lovemas, this ugly, icy evening, is centered around the first half of 1 Corinthians 13:7. Love always protects, always trusts. Other versions (I usually gear towards the ESV) say “love bears all things, love believes all things”. To be honest, I like the “bears all things” translation a little better. Love that endures all things is what most people want when they go to sites like EHarmony or watch the latest romantic comedy. We all know the depth of our own failures and the frequency of our personal breakdowns, so we know that in reality, we need a love that will bear all of our various human failures. That is found in God first and foremost. But with God as our source, there is no reason why we can't also bring him glory by exercising a love that bears all things.

The advantage of walking in a love that bears all things is that your relationships will be a free place for mess-ups to happen without condemnation. To place unrealistic expectations on your relationships to live up to the perfection of fairy tales (Nicholas Sparks, I am looking at you) is to set them up for failure. We all need love because it gives us the opportunity to try, fail, and try again.

This is not to say that you still place someone that constantly betrays your trusts in an important place of trust again and again. Neither does it say that toxic relationships are important to keep maintained. We can see this clearly in the way that Joseph was planning to deal with what he had supposed to be infidelity in his and Mary's betrothal.

When Joseph found out that Mary was pregnant, "because he was a just man and unwilling to put her to shame" he had resolved to divorce her quietly. There was no quiet divorce, though. God had something else up his sleeve. But I imagine that if Joseph had been betrothed to a woman that actually had stepped out on him, he would have resolved to do the same. That is major integrity. That is also a massive step of love. If Mary had actually gotten pregnant by sleeping with another man, that would have been hugely embarrassing to Joseph! The fact that he decided to quietly do away with the issue speaks highly of his love that bears all thing as well as protects.

So if love does not always maintain bad relationships, why does it say that love always trusts? On first glance, that sounds quite foolish. There are people in this world that will do more than enough to loose our trust, and it is not wise to go back to them blindly. So this is one of the verses in the bible where it is in our best benefit to do some additional research, look at the context clues and put the puzzle pieces together. 

 The word used for trusts or believes is pisteuo. It means to believe or trust. So there is a major element of vulnerability by saying that we are going to love to the extent of believing all things. You will probably encounter many who will attempt to use you. I personally have experienced the situation of trusting someone and then realizing that they in fact were a person that I needed to rapidly distance myself from. The experience was not pleasant, tears were shed, and I was widely disappointed with the notion of church for a small period. But I do not wish that I had been more cynical in order to protect myself. 

We are going to face trials and tribulation in this time. We will even face some simply for the fact that we follow Christ. Much of that, I'm sure will be solely because we are operating in love while the world has a different system. We go against the grain much like riding a bike down a road meant for trains. At times, it might bumpy and unforgiving, but in the end, it is better to love than to close off your heart for fears sake. Walling away your heart may feel safe, and in fact it may be. But our point of thriving is not in the safe and closed off areas. We were all made to dive into the hot, bright, arid areas of vulnerability. God is standing in the desert, beaconing us to the scary realms of the unknown. When we are obedient to bear all and trust all, the living waters that flow from us are unstoppable.

The Twelve Days of Lovemas| Day 9 Delight in Evil

I think the Ninth day of Lovemas has beaten me. Our verse is 1 Corinthian’s 13: 6 which says, “Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with truth”. The verse has two parts, what love does and what love does not. At first it seems like it should be blatantly obvious. Of course, I don’t rejoice at evil, and only delight in truth. But then I ask myself some questions with a mind to be honest with myself and God. What types of things fill me with rejoicing? What makes me smile or laugh? In a society that gets by on humor and jollies, there is a lot that has the potential to make us glad. But of the multitude of things that one might say makes them express joy, not all are created equal. And, frankly, the thought of having to possibly give up some of the things that I enjoy to watch and laugh at is a nothing short of terrifying.

Often, the world runs in such a way that constantly puts others down in order to pull itself up. It’s logic is one of protecting itself at all costs. I’ll make a joke about you before you make one about me. Are the things that we spend time enjoying following that path? Sarcasm and poking fun can come across as quite benign. I don’t think I have ever been in a group of people without it. But upon further honest inspection of that way of interacting with our fellow humans, we will see that the root from which it stems from is caustic and belittling. If we are sincere with ourselves, we will see that to put someone down, or to deal with them harshly just does not line up with love.

In the fourth chapter of Phillipians, in verse eight, Paul instructs us even further, saying "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." This is a great litmus test with which to gage the things we are choosing to delight in. Anything that lines up with this verse can be considered as truth and worthy of our headspace.

In theory, as people who love and know God, our days and minds should be filled to the brim with all sorts of these things. Hopefully, unlike the rest of society, we are actively weeding through whatever thoughts or stimulants our day presents to us to find whatever is worthy of the time God has given us. We can choose not to meditate on or delight in certain things. With the power of the Holy Spirit paired with our willingness to take the narrower road, this is possible.

The urgency to become avid rejoicers of the truth is this: we are the living version of Christ that people see. We can claim that Jesus is the reason for the season left and right, but ultimately it will be what we are rooting for that draws people's attention. Those around us will pick up on a heart that is far from God faster than we will. So let us be choosy about what we delight in, becoming fierce lovers of the righteousness. As we are changed by a savior who gave up his throne to come be with us on Earth, so shall the seed be planted in the hearts of those who witness our celebration of the truth.

The Twelve Days of Lovemas| Day 8 Record of Wrongs

The Bokeh of Christmas by Kristina Servant CCed by

As we continue on our trek of love meditation, it occurs to me that a refresher might be in store. The days of Lovemas can run together very easily because of the sheer nature of writing that seeks to study, devour and digest. I hope, rather than to bore you with more tedious dissection of verses, that I can keep the golden thread of hope and love that ties these posts together running strong. It is after all a series that rips it’s name straight from Christmas, so I think there should be a fair amount of cheer and rejoicing envolved!

The verse we have been going through is 1 Corinthans 13:4-8, “4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”

My real and true goal of writing about this lofty subject has been number one, to hopefully act on what I believe to be God’s voice. Any fire or inspired writing that you might come across in my posts is all from him. I know that things will not always run perfectly, but my hope has always been to speak when God wants me to speak, and be silent when he desires my silence.

And secondly, the reason that I have been writing on this subject of love is to be part God’s movement to open our eyes to those around us. I long for a day when we as Christians are known by our love; love for one another, and love for those around us. It pains me to see that often, a combative stance is taken between us as Christians and others who don’t happen to believe as we do. I can’t even begin to describe my sheer disappointment as I hear pastor after pastor draw a cheap laugh from their congregation by making a fun of someone they disagree with. Our battle is not, nor has it ever been against the people around us, but that is another blog post. So rather than emphasize what we should carefully shy away from, I know that God desires to powerfully guide us to greater heights of living completely for him and loving those around us. And what better place to start that adventure than a Biblical depiction of love?

This eighth day of lovemas, on the 22nd of December (or Christmas Eve Eve Eve, as I like to call it), we have reached the tail end of verse five, “love is not resentful”. The Greek reads, “love keeps no record of wrongs”. If you’re anything like me, this verse fills you some very mixed emotions. At first I get goose bumps as I realize that this particular phrase points directly to God. I know that I am getting to know him more when I read the phrase, “love keeps no record of wrongs” because that is God’s very nature. He is generous with his mercy and forgiveness. We never have to worry because of past mistakes, because God first loved us. And he also first counted our sins no more.

But I also try to put on the verse, and apply it to my own life, and it doesn’t seem to fit. With God, all all all things are possible, but to keep no record of wrong seems to be a mountain of a task.

I must point out that it doesn’t say that love forgets everything that has ever happened. It says that love keeps no record of what has been done to them. Paul is not trying to imply that when we come to Christ, we get some sort of case of amnesia. He is saying that love does not take the things people have done and let a seed of bitterness be planted. Rather than imagining a life where Christians are all incredibly forgetful, I picture a bitter old woman hunched in her rocking chair with a notebook full of entries. This blue, ragged spiral has been with her for some time, now. She angrily reads through the book cover to cover as she has since she was a young woman. Her teeth grind, and her fingers grasp at the tattered pages. She quietly thumbs through the handwritten tale of woes. Her life is full of turmoil, and her love is squelched. The neighborhood children avoid her yard at all costs.

While I hope that this story is not real, I do know that those are the sad and eventual consequences of keeping a record of wrongs. Bitterly holding onto things that have been done to us closes off the heart, and eventually a sort of leprosy sets in. We are no longer able to feel compassion for those around us. Our heart becomes hard, cold, and dead.

This resentful feeling is what Paul was talking about in 1 Corinthians 13:5. His warning against offense is simple, but the harm it causes is massive and should be avoided at all costs. Not only does bitterness hurt our testimony because it drains us of our love, but it is incredibly damaging to our own souls. The carnage that comes from habitual resentment is most strongly felt by the person holding onto their forgiveness. While this action of holding onto what others have done to us is bad because it keeps us from loving them, it is decidedly worse for the one who is denying the forgiveness. The storm that is weathered is of their own choice. It hurts, it is isolated, and it can rob you of years you might never get back.

God never intended for us to lose ourselves in a battle to hold onto the past. He sent his son, and with that tiny baby came hope and joy that surpasses all understanding. When we say yes to Christ and his way of living and forgiving, we shine like the star that shone the first Christmas in Bethlehem. Cheesy as it might sound, we are the modern day stars leading others to Christ. They are looking and searching for something different, something brighter than what the world offers them. When God softens our hard hearts and we stop keeping a record of wrongs, the lost notice and flock to see the manger king.

The Twelve Days of Lovemas| Day 7 Easily Angered

Let me just start the Seventh Day of Lovemas by saying that I think I might be the chief of sinners when it comes to this aspect of love. I find that this is one of the most difficult areas in my life to stay obedient to God. Are you ready for it? Okay, here it is: love is not easily angered. Let me just be the first to inwardly sigh. Did you guys sigh too? Okay, good. I'm glad that I am in good company.

Here we go, "love is not easily angered". Are you kidding me Paul? Oh wait, I just thought of something. This doesn't apply to us. Yah,'cause you see, it can't! Paul lived in an age befor cars and rush hour. If he had written the letter to the church in Corinth in this day and age, he would have never put that in there!

And don't even get me started on computers! If Paul had had to deal with slow internet connections, he wouldn't have dreamed of asking us to not get easily angered! Not a chance. It would have said, love holds back angry words, or love does not give in to road rage. But that's not what it says.

God knew the frustrations that we would face in our day to day. He could see from that moment in time to here and back, and still that part of the verse is in there. And this wasn't written from a cushy sheltered Christian standpoint either. Paul faced wrongful imprisonment, and even physical beatings. If anyone had a cause to be angry, it was the author of the verse. But yet it still says, "love is not easily angered".

So how does one assuage the tempest we face every day? It seems sometimes that there is just unending stream of idiots coming across my path, honestly. I mean really, there is practically an endless list of things that tip me over the edge. Which leads me to believe that, when trying to line up our hearts with this seemingly unobtainable holy love, the first step is to find the root of the anger rather than trying to just hold our breath and wish away our feelings.

So let's take a real look at this odd emotion. We never desire the catalysts-traffic jams, nosey neighbors, false rumors. No one goes out of the house saying, "I really hope I am chewed out by a customer today!" But we seem incredibly quick to turn on that faucet of rage, even spewing profanities and declaring people to be anything but worthy of humanity. Why is that? Well I can say that for myself, anger can be a lot like a drug. One can get dunk off of angrily gossiping about someone who has wronged them. I'll even find myself sometimes imagining fights that have never happened with people in my head! It's as if I enjoy the feeling. That's because I think we do.

Often, the root of our anger is insecurity. We are desperately fighting to not be forgotten or stepped on, or treated as less than. This self doubt causes us to live in a constant combative mode, and ultimately, we become very angry people. We read into situations, assuming that we are being put down, when really people are just going about their day. The reality of situations is lost, and our default setting becomes being thin skinned. 

Think of it this way. Why do we sometimes get mad about someone passing us on the road? Are we really mad that they are driving in that lane, or is it because we are thinking of it in terms of how they are viewing us? In reality, the driver is just going about their day. They aren't making a statement about how fast or slow we are going, they could probably care less about us personally. But we take it as a belligerent message about our shortcomings. It's not about them. It's about us. Our self doubt has tricked us into believing that we are being insulted, and our toxic response is anger. When you're in the moment, their insolence feels very real. But after we have calmed down it's usually clear how foolish the whole thing was.

Everyone deals with self esteem. Some have a better handle on it than others, but the real way to feel better about yourself is not to go on a diet or pick up a new hobby. God must be our source, and he has some pretty great things to say about us! Dont forget that no mater what people at work, on the road, or in your home think about you, God loves you and thinks you're incredibly special. According to him, we ARE good enough. God is the only constant that we can depend on. If we wish to live more confident lives, it won't come in a pill. It will come when we lean into the lovingkindness of our Father.

Another root that will have us on the fast track to anger is unforgiveness. There will be people in our lives that act very inconsiderately towards us. We will be counted out, pushed down, and made to feel like we are not enough. It is wrong for them to do that, any way you slice it. It is not okay. But when we decide to keep our forgiveness locked up, we open ourselves up to a life devoid of peace and consumed by anger. Holding on to forgiveness is like dangerously spewing gasoline on our blazing fire of anger. It crushes our capacity to love and eventually, it's slimy fingers reach into every part of our life.

Forgiving someone who was dead wrong is no walk in the park, though. I don't wish to minimize the difficulty that faces someone that decides it is time to let go of anger. It takes a lot of prayer, and leaning into God. The journey to forgiveness is a daily battle. We must continually choose to not pick back up the intoxicating emotion of holding a grudge. And ultimately, we have to place our trust and our heart into the hands of the Healer, and let him do his work.

The last of the possible roots for love consuming anger is fear. The first time that I heard it said that animals act aggressive when spooked, I thought that made no sense. As a young girl, as I knew it, when I was afraid, I acted timid, not aggressive. But as I have grown older, it has become much clearer to me. Sometimes when we are afraid, we tense up and lash out. We fight the urge to give in to timidly being terrified and vulnerable, throw up our defenses, and act out against those around us. The anger is not because of them, but because of the fear we harbor inside.

The only fix for that, again, is God. Fear is crippling. It can cause is not to step out in faith, and it can crush our ability to love. But God's perfect love cast's out fear. When we ask him, he is faithful and powerful to help us walk in peace.

Anger, in most of it's forms affirms our fears and need for justice. It tells us that we're right and to hold our ground against our brother. As humans, we are going to wrong each other. We are going to wrong each other again and again. But the sooner that we are real with ourselves about where this anger is coming from, the sooner that we can allow God's love to pour out rather than fear, insecurity and unforgiveness. 

Now you will notice that it says that love is not easily angered. It doesn't say that love never gets angry. Anger is not a sin. Even Jesus was angry, but he never sinned. So Paul is trying to urge us to have a longer fuse; to be gracious and loving with each other. We must connect with God on a daily basis to learn to walk through lives less irritably. Anger is a massively difficult emotion to navigate, but by leaning into God for help and guidance, we can grow not in anger but in love.

The Twelve Days of Lovemas| Day 6 Self Seeking

We are to the sixth day of Lovemas, and personally, this is the first day that I have actually felt like it was Christmas. The Christmas commercials, and jingles on the radio have been on since after Thanksgiving, but I still didn't feel the tingle of Christmas magic. With air crisp and cool, Teagan and I finally have started the rounds to our many families’ Christmas’s. And I am happy to say, that at long last, Christmas, for me, is definitely here.

Today’s Christmas was with my mother’s side of the family. As we all piled in to my parents’ heavilly Christmas clad home, I looked around to see many parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents; all wonderful people that had large hand in raising me and pouring into my life. Year after year I have eaten great food, and received thoughtful Christmas presents. So it occurred to me, while spoonful deep in stupendous soup, that I will never be able to repay any of the selflessness that I have been privileged enough to accept throughout the years. The numerous times that the ridiculous requests of little Candace were met without complaint or objection will never be paid back. This might cause me to approach family holidays with dread. I could very well be consumed with the fear that the love from my family might run out if I don't personally refill the tank, but I don't have to look at it that way. This is because love does not keep a tally. Love is simply not self seeking.

Just out of speculation, I would say that Paul left, "love is not self seeking" for later on in the verse because it encompasses so much of what has already been said. Rude, prideful, envious behavior all revolve around one thing; looking out for ourselves. And conversely, the way that we have seen love played out in the Bible so often is in a manner that forgets the needs and desire of the person loving. Much of the time, stories in the Bible seem unjust, leaving the person at fault with forgiveness rather than retribution. 

Jonah was sent to deliver a message the Ninevties, a ruthless and Godless people. He reluctantly accepted, not expecting his message to be received. But after seeing the Ninevites change their ways rather than be consumed by God, Jonah was found himself to be upset instead of joyful. The Ninevites were notorious for being a barbaric- even impaling their enemies. They were not a popular people to say the least. Jonah, knowing all of this, had kind of betted against them. He had even chosen a nice perch upon which to watch them burn! Talk about pesimistic.

But when the Nineties repented of their ways and humbly mourned their completely sinful ways of life, Jonah was dumbfounded. He had assumed that God had him on a last ditch effort type of mission, not a mission of salvation. As if God was saying, "okay, Jonah, I would really like to blow these guys into last Passover, but just to cover my bases I'm going to send you to make sure that they at least have knowledge of me. Ya know- since I plan to wipe 'em out and all." So when they weren't consumed with fire and brimstone, Jonah threw a fit saying, "It is better for me to die than live".

Now I could sit here and criticize Jonah. He ends up being given a plant for shade from God and mourning it's eventual death more than the potential annihilation of an entire city! That's pretty harsh there, Jonah. But really, I relate to him a lot more than I wish to admit. I often sit and stew about other's that I know are not living for God. I easily get annoyed at their shortcomings, and just as God asked Jonah when he fumed about the salvation of the Ninevites, I can feel God also asking me, "Do you do so well to be angry?" As if he is saying, "Are you enjoying this? Does it feel good to care for yourself so much more than others that the second they do something wrong you are simmering on a perch hoping for them to die?" 

Eventually, the question that God presented to Jonah to softly let him know that he was out of line (Do you do well to be so angry?) gets answered with a surprising amount of sass! After Jonah's self proclaimed need for death, God asks him once more, "Do you do well to be angry for the plant?" And he retorts with, "Yes I do well to be angry, angry enough to die." Woa now, Jonah, you're talking with God here. Maybe you should be a little more reverent or something? You seem a little more headed for destruction than the Ninevites ever were!

Okay, so Jonah's comment back to God was pretty brash, but I think it's not unlike something that I have probably thought before. I might not have directly prayed it to God, but the thought was still there as well as the weight and meaning of this declaration of it's not worth it if I have to live with such injustice. I mean, lets face it, there have been people in each of our lives that have wronged us in really un acceptable ways. That makes it is incredibly hard to love selflessly. In order to even pull off this God-sized feat, the key is dying to ourselves.

Galatians 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." So to fully live in such a way that you are not self-seeking, we have to no longer submit to our desires for ourselves. Rather than considering ourselves first, we must assume a posture that directs our priority to God. As explained in the verse, this is all done by faith. The do it power that we need to overcome our urge to live for ourselves can never be conjured up by our own hearts. We must live by faith. We must trust in God. 

It is when we submit to God, saying "I don't quite understand how, but please help me live for you. Help me to live selflessly", that he is able tor flow through us and teach us the gracious and kind ways of love. No, it doesn't come easily. In fact, about the only time that we see each other living selflessly is when we are dealing with our children and family (and even then, sometimes we don't). But day by day of asking God to help us be obedient to opportunities of selfless love is all that is needed. God can use the small portion that we have to bring, and multiply our faith into material that changes lives just as he did with Jesus. So just as Jesus first submitted to the will of God by the somewhat humiliating birth in a manger, we also can place our faith before the God of Christmas wonders, and watch as selfless love pours out.